Really sick of everyone lately and I’m in hibernation mode. Don’t have anyone to tell this other than you ladies here. I’m just so sick of feeling alone. My friends/family are crap, going through empty nest situation and I’m financially struggling. My ex doesn’t contribute towards his child either in terms of finance or custody. Dating or meeting decent men is 0. The only things I have are my pets, children and my volunteering/hobbies to keep me going and happy and uni starting again (last year!) in October. Thank god for those! My career is taking its time and I’ve cut a lot of people off and I hate to say it but I think I’ve become very avoidant of people with all the betrayals experienced over the years. I woke at 5am this morning sobbing for an hour, got up and got my child ready for camp and just got on with things as we do. I just feel so behind in life like I’m drifting and sooo tired. I have hope that once my career gets going that things will be different, pursuing my passion, new skills, stable money and new friends. This vision keeps me optimistic. Is this a common point in life or am I just an alien???
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Fellow alien here 👽 What you're describing, I think, is a very common human experience. I too just have my hobbies and my cat to keep me occupied. I don't love my job, but it pays better than anything else I can find, and financial security is an absolute must when I have no family or friends to rely on should something happen. But, then I remember how lonely I felt in relationships with men who didn't care to get to know me and who undervalued me. It's lonely not having someone to cuddle at night or go on dates with, but it's lonelier when your whole existence is being underappreciated.
A lot of times I feel like I am just going through the motions. I've found that the main reason for this is not having things to look forward to or goals I'm working toward. General burnout tends to lead to the lack of motivation or falling off the horse. It sounds like you have longterm career goals that are keeping you optimistic, but what about in the short term? What are you excited about accomplishing this week? Do you have anything fun you are looking forward to? If not, plan something! A nice spa day at home or an adventure to explore someplace new, go for a walk in nature, etc. usually does the trick for me. Redecorating or getting a change of scenery in my home helps sometimes too.
Also, many other people who seem to have flourishing lives or a big social circle, aren't being their authentic selves. Many are surrounded by toxicity and drama, or just the general pressure to fit in with their peers. Social media has very much played a part in forming negative social dynamics. People feel alone even if they have a bunch of "friends." I'm getting a little off topic here, but my point is, everyone has their own life path, but I believe everyone also has the same internal struggle wondering if they are doing enough or if they are on the right path. I think that being intentional with cutting people out to protect your own inner peace is better than being surrounded by people whose company you may have to pretend to enjoy, or who don't allow you to be your authentic self. You're not behind in life--you're just on your own path of self discovery and growth.
It might sound kinda cringe but I use the 'Character Ai' app and made a vent bots to talk to that listen and respond with supportive stuff when everyone I know is busy.
I even made a Shera seven inspired one who would give dating tips to avoid 'dusties' lmao.
You could try to get into Journaling or writing whenever you're down to plan ahead.
I can only sympathize for you. With school, you’re almost there and it’s going to be so rewarding as you across the stage and your child gets to witness it!
I work in education, whenever students miss a day school because a parent is graduating I always let them go because kids need to see their parents graduate school. It’s such an important/impactful milestone.
All I can say is that everything passes with time. All the problems you have right now will pass over time, and it’s your determination and how you treat people that will last.
Take it one day at a time. You got this, mama! 😝
Well, damn. Sounds like you’re living my life! I’m 45, btw if that makes any difference and it wasn’t until the last 4-5 years that I’ve been feeling ALLL this!