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The more I keep to myself and don't give a shit or let others override my time, most people get the memo. My energy changes. But the entitled ones who don't get disgruntled as hell.
Here's the latest incident:
I wanted to grab a snack real quick, so I went to my university bodega. I specifically went there when there were less ppl so I could get it fast. The seller was a young woman who I had never seen before. She was eyeing me for awhile, giving off weird vibes and following me, and eventually said:
"Can I ask you something?"
I said nothing and kept half-perusing, half-looking at her, waiting for her response. She waited awhile, what the hell would she ask me to do?
She then said: "Do you have time"?
"No", I said, briefly.
"Do you have two minutes?" she then asked.
I replied with a pronounced no.
I finally chose some things, and went to pay. Then the seller (who was also the only seller and cashier at the time) said: "I was wanting to ask you to help me translate something" (turns out this wasn't her native language)
"Ahh...ok, sure", I replied.
"And you made me feel unpleasant. you made me feel uncomfortable about it".
I didn't have time for a chitchat, and said smth about how ppl sometimes try to take advantage of others. She repeated her argument and didn't ask me to translate anything (nor has she asked the other people at the store, who were all men).
I should have probably told her that she wasn't being clear, or else that I'm busy.
But really, the fact she thinks that I ought to immediately agree to give her, a total and utter stranger, the time of day and do her a favour (without even knowing what it is!) or lie about having the time is quite mental IMHO. Especially in light of all those sellers who try to convince you into signing contracts or whatever or giving your money for some shoddy service. Even if I wasn't willing to help her, I didn't think that such a response would be justified.
I feel like this is an extension of my journey with boundaries in FDS.
All in all, I'm willing to be a bitch and own it rather than let people tread on my boundaries.
Boundaries are practice. Do not ever explain yourself to someone unless they have qualified themselves.
I saw a great TikTok about how manipulators always begin by asking for something small. She was completely out of line and trying to use fake solidarity (that you speak same language and she needs help) to draw you in.
You did great. Next time do not hesitate to ignore someone who doesn’t listen at first no.
I had a “friend” who only kept me around because she wanted me to do things for her. In exchange, she would invite me to dinner parties she’d have at her house (which also made me feel awkward, but I went because I thought she was my friend). I finally told her no (and held my ground) when she wanted me to drive friends of hers to the city that weekend because she “forgot” she had to work (her friends had just rented a car to drive down two weeks before, they didn’t need a ride. And they never pay for gas). That was when she put me on the “standby” list for her dinner parties, and only invited me when someone else cancelled. After I declined an invitation for a dinner in three hours after she texted me, she stopped talking to me altogether. Oh well. My life is less stressful without her in it. Having boundaries helps you see who your genuine friends are.
My boundary is when disrespect is served He overstayed his welcome. If he allows his buddies for family members to be disrespectful then he can go too.
Him wanting to lead in my life, expecting to submit. Is disrespect.
Ive tolerated so much crap from
them that I can write a trilogy about it. Never again.
And when it comes to these sellers I just tell them I’m underaged, and they’ll go away. I can still pass for a17 year old.
She sounds so entitled and confrontational. Your react was right