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At this point, I have no friends and I’m okay with that because I am at peace. And I am SAFE!
I gently set my boundaries a couple times telling my childhood friend who I hadn’t seen in years that my current place is too small for them to stay at(literally only a 200 sq ft studio with my pet rabbit on top of it) especially since she wanted to bring her friend along to visit. I also don’t feel comfortable letting people stay over especially if I don’t really know them.
besides her friend, she practically became a stranger over the years and would barely respond back to my texts. now she and her friend insisted on crashing at my place and had the audacity to text me this??
I got the vibe that they mainly just want to visit the city I’m currently living in not that they actually wanted to see me again. It’s really disappointing and disheartening trying to make or maintain friendships when it seems like a lot of people just want to use you. Also I have a lot of PTSD from past awful friendships. the online friends I also had to cut off several months back kept weirdly insisting wanting staying at my place when they come to visit too after I told them I wasn’t comfortable with that.
I’m disappointed but also pissed off. like are you even a friend if you just see me as someone only worth connecting with if it’s convenient and you want something?? I’m now fine being my own best friend and my only other friend being my pet bunny.
Ugh I'm sorry they did that to you. I had to cut off the last of my close woman friends in my city this summer after an absolutely unforgivable performance on her behalf at a social function we attended. It hurt so badly. I sobbed on and off for days. I had to face the bitter reality that all these friendships had been formed when I was in a terrible place. When I got sober it became so apparent that I'd attracted users. I completely empathize with the sentiment that most people are users. This is the truth. There are amazing people out there but the majority will cut you down in a second to benefit themselves. This was hard for me to learn and then accept. I wanted the world to be a better place than it is. The good news is that goodness IS out there, and I feel this strongly - it can never be entirely consumed by darkness. The most important thing is that you are safe. You can build the life you want with people who deserve you from this safe place.
Ps - I have a bunny too. But he is a stuffed animal.
You're most definitely not alone. I'm quite, quite friendless in my current city - have a handful of acquaintances but that's pretty much it, though do plan to move abroad upon completion of my degree and generally find it FAR easier to make new friends there than I ever have here. I think that sometimes, as well as there just being a shitload of self-serving users out there (trust me, I know aaaaall about that from my former traumatised pickme days), the culture and overall energy of a place really doesn't vibe with who you are. That's not a you problem, we can be just as incompatible with places as we can with people and that can be the case even if you've lived somewhere all your life. My current city has never been great but over the last few years it has turned into a low-rent shithole of epic proportions and the attitudes and behaviours of the vast majority of people I encounter 100% reflect that. It's tough, and ironically it gets even worse the more I continue levelling up.
This can be a very bitter and tough reality to swallow sometimes, so I definitely feel for you here.
Lol I'm shocked at the way she worded that like who the hell ask to sleep at someone else's home like that.....
You are right about kicking her out of your life. She wanted to stay with you out of convenience.
-"Our Budget"🚩
-Cheaper than Airbnb🚩
-Eat your food and sleep🚩
Nope. Nope. Nope. Op, she is taking advantage of your kind heart. She knows everything is expensive right now that's why she won't open her wallet. She wants you to feed her + a stranger....in this economy? Uh, no! Off with her head.