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Whether you believe her or not, I truly don’t understand what is hilarious or so sensational about this case to where people are obsessed with crucifying her & deifying Depp.
As someone who has been raped multiple times before and didn’t come forward because I was afraid of not being believed about things that occurred behind closed doors. As someone who has partook in reactive abuse after my rapist gaslighted me and told me I wanted it (I slapped him). & as someone whose abusive ex would call me insane and crazy because I was diagnosed with bpd. This case has been highly triggering to read about and as much as I want to ignore it, it’s difficult to when it’s shoved down our throats on every social media platform. I definitely think men can be DV victims as well and don’t agree with the infamous statement everyone is sharing that she’s said, but it’s scary to see how many people don’t care about Johnny Depp being abusive too. It’s also sad how many people are acting like they care about domestic violence, but don’t pay attention to the 85% of female DV victims.
The way everyone analyzed their facial expressions and body language spoke volumes to me. Her smile is read as narcissistic, his smile is read as charming. His tears are read as genuine, her tears are read as over dramatic theatrics. I’m just exhausted from noticing the double standards. People saying she couldn’t have possibly been assaulted because she’s either too calm or too hysterical when testifying just shows there is no right way for her to act to them. Whether you believe her or him, the memefication of an alleged sexual assault makes me sick.
People with bpd can definitely be abusive, but we’re also very vulnerable to being abused. Condemning her based on her mental health diagnosis is hypocrisy when people don’t care about his alcoholism or the fact he’d behave like he had a split personality he himself called “the monster”. I feel like having a panic attack sometimes when I open twitter and all I see are reminders that my testimony would mean nothing. I’m really sorry ladies if this topic has been overdone on the sub, I just don’t know where else to vent. I’ve already been unfollowed by people on Instagram for sharing that I think it’s important to recognize Depp is no angel either.
edit; I agree with the discourse going around surrounding whether Amber really has BPD or not as women are unfairly overly diagnosed with it for simply having rational trauma responses to abuse. However I also think it is important to not just say she isn’t abusive just because she may not have BPD because that implies that everyone who DOES have that disorder are inherently evil when we are not. BPD is often developed due to trauma.
With you on this one. I feel like a lot of people are just blindly following what's been fed to them. And the worse part is; I see a lot of men now saying especially and pickmes; 'THIS IS TOXIC FEMININITY' as if they have a clue what they're talking about. You never hear them about cases like this, you never hear them about DV EVER. It's frustrating and triggering for me too. I understand you, you're not alone in this 💖
I read somewhere that Depp spent 50 million dollars on PR....idk if the figure is correct but his PR team seems to be working overnight.
I'm not necessarily sure she has BPD; that was the opinion of a psychologist with minimal qualifications hired by Depp's team. Even if she does have BPD, was it a direct result of his abuse?
Agree that public opinion is definitely vilifying Amber while giving Depp a 'boys will be boys' pass. Men have never been held to the same level of accountability for their actions as women.
please log off your twitter for some time. it's not good for your health. disengage.
they don't believe women and it's truly sad to see pickmes try to win brownie points with the abusers.
First of all, we don't need to "it happens to men too" every time we talk about DV like a dumb libfem. As a gender, they abuse and gaslight us as a gender. When they say it happens to men too, this is what they mean. They mean they abused a woman and she didn't take it lying down and of course now "she's the abuser" and he's forgotten what he did, and hell, so have you because you're so crazy and enraged and BPD triggered and... i used to scream at the top of my lungs at someone (who loved me, so much, obviously) who was driving me absolutely crazy with rage to a point I can get the shakes anytime I want just by thinking about it, and yeah that was so wrong of me, what an abuser I am. Fuck that. It seems deeper than any hellish nightmare, the depravity you face in those moments of realizing you're in love and attached to a monster who hates you and wants you to love them so they can rot your soul from the inside. No women don't do that shit. Sorry.
Everyone on twitter thinks they’re a fucking psychologist when they’re trying to push their own narrative. Suddenly they have a million reasons why Heard’s body language means she’s lying, and a million reasons why Depp’s body language means he’s genuine. I remember in the 90s, when the allegations against Clarence Thomas came out. A friend of my mom’s was convinced that he was innocent because he reacted to the accusations with anger. Because as we know, men never get angry when called out for something they feel entitled to.
The internet always attacks women. I have seen that men are now using this to push that "most" women are generally abusive and using the #mentoo but never once will you see anyone supporting #notallwomen like the internet does for #notallmen when men are trialing for rape or murder.
I refuse to do emotional labor by trying to convince people the complexities of DV so I deleted Twitter. Life is short. Some people are naive, some are committed to misunderstanding you.
I'm so glad that at least deuxmoi stands behind her.
I deleted Twitter, lol. Bcuz of the JD/AH stuff, but also the fact I reported several tweets that said stuff like "die cunt terf" "fuck you bitches" and Twitter said "these tweets did not break the terms of service" Twitter raised my blood pressure and I don't need it in my life. My favorite tweet-ers post their tweets on Instagram anyway (FDS and Dave Ramsey)
“If you ever wanted to know what the public think of women’s testimonies of abuse, now ya know”
:/
I’m actually in disbelief that the majority of women are reacting like this too. Like yeah I expect this from major pick mes but even the mild pick me women understand abuse. So this reaction from almost all women I really don’t get.
This along with the overturning of Roe just tells me we’re headed down a very grim path.
I hate to say it but women as a group are hated. It's hard to believe bc you may think about all the people who you know, and you think "but they don't hate women." Correction: they tolerate women as long they aren't doing anything to inconvenience them or their "faves." To put it bluntly (and albeit vulgarly) the vast majority of men love pussy while simultaneously strongly disliking to full on hating women. Period. Know this, and understand it. As for the women rah rah-ing all over the internet? They're brainwashed. They've been FULLY indoctrinated into the "cool girl" school of being a girlfriend/wife (bc being a woman, let alone a human being is too much to ask). This is why ONLY NOW, after we're about to OFFICIALLY have our autonomy taken from us, have searches for "abortion rights" and "women's right" gone up 2,550% in the last week. Where were all these women who are searching this NOW when it's too fucking late? They were busy watching their loser LVM bf's play Call of Duty & showing how "chill" they could be.
Totally agree. I haven't kept up 100% from what I can tell they both seem abusive. BUT the amount of people commenting about what a victim JD is and how awful AH is... it's honestly shocking and depressing. Because I don't see how anyone can defend someone who is so obviously a violent abuser.
I relate to you so hard. Seeing an abusive, vile, misogynistic, coked-up scrote like Depp get painted as some kind of innocent woobie day after day - even in radfem groups I am a part of!! - even though there's plenty of evidence of his abuse, while Heard is supposedly the world's most evil and manipulative abuser ever is triggering af for me (DV survivor who resorted to reactive violence when I'd had enough of being a "good victim"). The only way I can avoid it is by going completely offline and hoping no one tries to strike up a conversation about this whole shitshow in public. The way people are reacting is killing my faith in other people, tbh. :(
I'm reading Backlash by Susan Faludi (written in 1990) and the coverage of this trial side by side, and it's horrifying how much the US has not progressed since 1990.
I am so freaking sick of seeing people making fun and jeering at the woman at this point it's no better than a public witch-hunt
100% it makes me sick how everyone is going after her, I'm genuinely concerned for her mental health. He is abusing her via the court system and making her pay for standing up for herself. It's unbelievable in 2022 people still hate women so much.
I am sorry OP feels triggered by this trial but I would like to note that Borderline Personality Disorder is a controversial diagnosis with good reason. It is disproportionately and often punitively applied to women. In many cases a different diagnosis unrelated to personality would be a better therapeutic fit.
If a therapist ever tells anyone here they have BPD, do not accept it without serious reflection and a second opinion from a practitioner who isn't privy to the first therapist:s findings.
It is highly prejudicial to have that diagnosis in one's medical records because when you end up in the hospital for some completely unrelated malady hospital personnel are less likely to uncritically accept any self-reported symptoms you share with them. They are also more likely to avoid you for fear you will monopolize their time out of neediness.
Practitioners give out these labels crom the DSM like poison candy just to get maximum reimbursement, heedless of the ramifications the patient may face in their future life.
I am not reading or watching these Depp / Heard hearings. I wouldn't presume the distressing comments about it ate symptomatic of women's general attitudes. Petty people, male and female, jump on these situations for likes and clicks. I can barely tolerate the brief daily takedowns on CNN -- it is a total sideshow.
Yeah I think Amber Heard is mostly full of shit and likely verbally and physically abusive. I think Johnny Depp is probably also fucked up. What I saw from this trial coverage etc was two people is a long term horribly toxic relationship now washing every ounce of dirty laundry on a completely public scale and it's beyond cringe to me. I genuinely think and feel from what I have read and seen that Amber Heard has severe BPD. I've been friends with women like this (never too long cuz you fall out of favor once you don't feed their manipulated structure and view of the world) and while she's fucked up, Johnny doesn't stay in something like that for long if he isn't also contributing and playing along in his own fucked up way. Again, this is all my own opinion. Now I think she is being vilified to an extreme cuz men are finally like MEN GET ABUSED. CHECK MATE FEMINISTS. Overall, the whole thing is just two toxic people and their fucked up relationship being played out on a world stage and it's Soo uncomfortable and cringey and like gah. Gross. I hate that it's getting so much coverage. There are some things that should be left private and your super toxic unhealthy relationship dynamic that you both clearly bought into and played with, is one of those things.