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Communication is important for relationships as we know. But why is it that a lot of people today take days to reply or 'see' messages??
I know I have abandonment issues but I have worked on them a lot and I understand relationship dynamics. But this shit drives me crazy! I'm not even talking about interpersonal relationships I'm talking friends/family. I can understand this from an aquaintence but a close friend or family member going a day without a reply but 4 days and not even an apology or a 'seen' status???! The excuses of not seeing it on their phones is pathetic now. Perfect examples are: I sent a voice note to my cousin and rang them too (no answer) as I was excited about something and it took them 4 days without an apology or excuse when getting back to me. What if it was an emergency??! Another friend when I message the messages aren't seen for sometimes a week/s. Apparently her phone doesn't give notifications sometimes. She's bloody glued to her phone and has no other commitments so?! I put this to the test today. She's ignored my messages twice now over the past wee. so I messaged if she wants to go to yoga. 10mins and I get two messages WTF?? People only care when there's something in it for them. They don't give a damn. Someone told me once that it's todays age but I just think it's rude.
Whether this is my abnormal thinking and my abandonment issues or if others feel the same but I just think we should do better for our relationships.
No, it is not you. This is the norm now.
Everyone is constantly on their phone yet everyone acts as though they are never on their phone. This is a cultural phenomenon brought about by Boomers and Gen X being horrible parents: LVM dads and pickme moms, who instead of bothering to raise their children, stuck the child in front of a screen. The screen was also full of LVM dads and pickme moms. Then the pickme moms threw their hands up and went, "OMG, something is wrong with my kid who I never parent and who my LVM husband neglects. The child has no social skills and is a selfish idiot!" Also these moms realized they hated parenting with LVM but couldn't admit that to society. Then this fake condition became known as ADHD and autism, and everybody got lots and lots of drugs for that.
75% of people are high as fuck all the time because of the above. For the others who don't respond, it's a little power trip of ignoring you. Basic communication has become weaponized. The Matrix is thisclose to reality now.
My advice: Fuck anyone who does this. Throw your phone away and go the fuck outside and live your life. Sadly you will find very few others out there with you.
I’ve been thinking this alot. I get left on read way more than before. Things have changed. People act like they are “busy” but really they just ignore. They are all wrapped up in their own heads and lives. No compassion. I am always there for people but nobody is there for me.
It's a tough one. On the one hand we want to feel valued, seen, heard, respected and that our contact is responded to in a timely fashion. And on another hand, I also don't think I should be expected to be available 24/7 just because technology now is, in this day and age. If I responded to every message immediately I would never do anything else as I'd be constantly fienlding messages, interrupting other work/life experiences etc... Sometimes I need to find the right wordsmto say, or I don't have the bandwidth, or could be driving, or distracted. I'm not someone who is always 'on' for social contact so I respect when others need that spaciousness, also.
But I wll definitely acknowledge that for some (maybe most? today) its not that conscious, and it's just crappy behaviour and devaluing their connections/having inverse social skills.
If she's not respecting you, and you can't work it out between each other, mayb eshe needs to be demoted to an appropriate level of importancem, if that's what she's doing to you?
For me it depends. I usually do pick up when someone calls, so long as they're not calling during work hours or at night. With regard to texting, if someone texts me a question e.g. "Would you like to meet up Friday?", I try to answer fairly promptly. However I often don't answer at all if someone texts me a low effort text e.g. "Hey" or "WYD?". I actually hate those kinds of texts because I feel like they're really saying "I'm bored. Entertain me!" and that's kind of entitled IMO. (It's ok if other people don't mind those kinds of texts, this is just my personal opinion).
Life is busy. We get bombarded with messages from multiple sources and I don’t want to spend my whole life responding to messages.