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You deserve the whole cake, not crumbs. I've been noticing even the more FDS aligned hypergamy influencers(lookin at you Sheraseven and Leveledupelites) think we have to settle for old ass wrinkly smelly men as long as they provide for us and give us money. Apparently that makes them "high value" give me a fucking break. High value is the WHOLE package which I'll get into in a bit. They also believe we don't need love at all in a relationship with men. okay is all I'm getting out of it is money then?? And trauma? They are literally just glorifying sugar babies like the rest of them libfems.
It dismisses our need for physical, emotional and sexual attraction. If we were to settle for these rich old, ugly scrotes we'd be sexually and emotionally traumatizing ourselves and for what?? A boujee apartment? A boujee dinner that we can get ourselves?? Absolutley not. We've settled enough for lifetimes.
A relationship with a true high value man should be the whole package to you. It should go beyond your expectations and offer you a genuine connection, passion, attraction on every level while he is providing for you and protecting you out of love for you. You deserve to be able to be madly in love with him, be excited to see him and be excited to have sex with him. Yes, the man should be more in love with you than you are with him because he is the chaser, but there is a mutual desire to be with each other!
We don't deserve just a slice of cake. We can have it all. And yes, high value men are rare but so are YOU. It only takes one man to come into your life so chances are he's out there for you, praying to be with a woman like you.
Meanwhile, I'm praying ya'll don't ever settle for less. Let him find you sis, he'll come as a whole package, looking like a snack and all and shouldn't disappoint you in any way.
I’ve had opportunities to settle and marry pretty well-off “providers.” I found them sexually repulsive, to put it bluntly. It doesn’t mean they were bad people, but they did not take care of themselves or they had feminine personalities that turned me off. I didn’t think the modestly comfortable life they could provide for me would be worth the struggle over “What excuse am I going to use tonight?” It would be a living hell and we would’ve been in another of those countless marriages where it’s a constant battle over sex.
Sometimes I suspect that a lot of these marriages where wives are accused of “withholding” sex are due to the woman being pressured into it because “looks don’t matter — you’ll develop sexual attraction for him later.” No you won’t, sis.
Exactly! I'm so sick if the number of women who deny that we are also visual creatures. Listen, I get it, for whatever reason, you may have a low libido or have made yourself believe that, but stop speaking for all women and denying a reality. It just lowers the bar for everyone and makes women make miserable decisions.
I like both, but I agree. I commented on Levelupelites where she mentioned in one of her posts, that a man's looks shouldn't matter to us as long as he provides. While I agree that he should be a provider and not settle, I want to be attracted to the guy as well. Men aren't the only ones who are visual. Other women were saying the same thing.
I broke up with a man I loved deeply after three years a few days ago. He embodied so many HVM qualities, but there were times where patriarchal conditioning would rear its head. But it’s not my job to teach, and his ignorance was hurting me. I miss his company, our conversations, our laughs, his hugs, his doting on me, helping me. But fk that. It wasn't enough.
It's so disheartening. I think even men who are seemingly of good quality have some really fkd up ways--especially around sex, which was our/his problem. It’s true. You have to cut them off as soon as they show any signs of bad behavior. It's never a one-off. I waited too long —and I thought I was being so smart—and now I’m paying for it. This shit hurts.
Thank you! You're completely right. I understand that "providing" usually means financially, but since being with a financially secure but abusive man, I've defined "providing" as: providing me with safety above all. A partner should be my shelter, my home. This means emotional safety, physical safety, mental safety, and financial safety. It's all important. My partner gives me a safe space to be myself, I am finally with someone I am madly attracted to, and yes he was actually praying to find a woman like me lol.
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Everyonce in a while I'll come across a new youtuber/content creator on these topics. They'll seem on the level, and thenas if out of nowehere they'll whip out this sex worker ish.
And that's my cue to exit.
I honestly don’t think HVM even exist. It’s a tall order. They can keep their money. I'm done.
I will never accept a smelly, dusty ass no matter how well he provides.
Especially since the standards to look reasonably attractive and well-groomed are so much lower for men compared to what is expected from women. All they have to do is wash, shave/groom their facial hair, have a decent, flattering haircut, be reasonably fit with a healthy weight and dress like an adult and appropriate for the occasion. Nobody expects them to wear make-up, remove every single hair on their body or to bounce back with their bodies virtually unchanged after a pregnancy. And yet the majority of men seems to be incapable of those basic standards.
I value respect over love any day, there are so many versions of love that men will pick those out to justify their behavior. There is only one version of respect, and that is respect.
I rather be respected than loved because the way most humans love especially men sucks and hardly works in your benefit.
Girl, I'm losing hope of ever finding the whole cake. I want that deep, safe, true love, and it feels so far away. Do loving men even exist? Thanks for the reminder of what I deserve and that it's worth it to hold out for the love we dream of.
Yes! Never settle ladies! Never!
Yeah hate the notion that we must settle in some way or another. There's even a superstition in my culture that you'd more likely to be married with a person who is not your type. It scared me a lot when I used to believe getting married is inevitable. I don't want to be married with someone I don't find attractive. Can't imagine waking up to a jumpscare. I'd rather sleep with plushies.
I know a woman in her 40s who is married to a very wealthy man in his 60s. She got out of her first marriage penniless. Her ex husband was a dirt poor abusive gambler alcoholic scrote, so marrying and having sex with an unattractive old man that splurges on her is an upgrade.
But yeah, the bar is in hell. In no way it's a high value relationship. He's using her for sex and company, she's using him for financial benefits. Without money tying them together, there won't be a relationship.
Preach! Yeah I don't get the whole settling for an older guy with money who you're not even attracted to. I... don't need a man that desperately. Money is not my main motivation to get into a relationship.
Sure, it helps, dating a broke guy pretty much never works out, but I also want to be in love and sexually attracted to my partner. And I'm just not attracted to men that are that much older than me, I'm the most attracted to men who are the same age as me, +/- approximately three years.
Interesting enough, the women in my family on both sides who married out of love have had tendencies to marry men that are two to three years younger than them or the same age.
About the man loving you more than you love him... I don't know, I'm still relatively new to FDS and this is still a point that I'm struggling with, maybe you ladies can give some perspective or advice on this.
The thing is, I'm a big romantic and I want to be absolutely in love with a man. Not obsessed, but just in love with the man for who he really is. I just can't really grasp the concept of a man being more in love with me than I am with him, but I'm also in love with him, just not as much as him. Wouldn't that mean that I'm actually just lukewarm about him? How do you measure that? And wouldn't that be unsatisfying over time for both of us? Is it so unrealistic to find a man who's just as much in love with me as I am with him? 😅
At the same time of course I don't want to be the one who loves him more either, because that's a horrible feeling.