I JUST read that and came here lol. What a queen! He really just saw her and thought "wow, free housing, nanny, cook all in one!". So proud of her. Men feel so entitled to everything a woman has. Pure users.
Telling that he immediately dropped his nephew when she dumped him. That just shows that he was not a stable option for the child to begin with. Can you imagine what would have happened had they had broken up AFTER he and his nephew moved in?
And I believe the commenters were right: he was planning on dumping the “mother’s share” of the parenting responsibilities onto her once they moved in together.
Just the entitlement in his attitude where he ASSUMED the nephew would be welcome, without asking first, or sitting down and having a discussion with her about whether taking him in is an option for them.
In the comments, someone is trying to convince me it's unreasonable not to want to meet with a man's kids right away because keeping on a dating schedule with a kid is hard 😂
Yes, it is hard. That's why I want to make sure he can do it.
If he wants to date while being a parent he needs to show that he can meet your and his child's needs and divide his attention in a reasonably fair way without expecting you to shoulder part of his parenting tasks (because that is not your job and not your problem to solve, ever). If he can't do that, he shouldn't date until the child is older or out of the house. Period.
How do people think the relationship is going to look like if he's already struggling to find childcare and expecting you to make all the sacrifices (like not having his undivided attention during a date, watching a stranger's kid during a date, making accomodations regarding the time and venue....) during the courtship phase?
The boy’s entire family is unfit to raise him in any kind of stable home, and I’m guessing the dad’s going to jail for murdering his mother. Foster care is the better option for the child than remaining with anyone in that family, a point proven by the fact that OP’s bf flaked on the boy.
OP did very well in using boundaries to protect both herself and the boy. I hope she never lets a man into her beloved house until she's a little older and vets tf out of him.
19
Unknown member
Mar 28, 2023
The ex-boyfriend's entitlement makes my blood boil and reminds me of an experience I had with an LVM ex-boyfriend several years ago.I have always been adamantly child-free (and always will be) and made it clear to my LVM ex-boyfriend, from the beginning, that I never wanted children. I asked him multiple times if he was OK with never having children, and he said yes. But what did he do when his best friend had twins? He told me we would become "uncle and auntie" to these twins, implying we'd spend a lot of time with them and perhaps become their godparents. This was "totally OK" because he was not asking me to bear any children of my own.
He straight-up wanted to surrogate someone else's children into our relationship. He presumed I would be overjoyed for him to volunteer my time, effort, and money to help raise someone else's children. The level of entitlement hit me like a brick wall, and I noped the fuck out of that relationship shortly after.
I despise men like this. Stay away from men who want to turn you into a surrogate mother/godparent/auntie without asking your permission. It might seem like a compliment, depending on how he presents it, but make no mistake—it is entitlement, through and through.
11
Unknown member
Mar 28, 2023
No man will ever move in with me ever again. I don't want a man in my home ever again. If I ever do date, I'll go to his house then leave when I am done with him.
Only After reading ppls response she dumped him and then the truth came into the light that he expected her to help him babysit rent free and I already knew what he wanted before I read the update. If everyone went against her saying how selfish she is then she would have probably said yes.
If she sees through the red flags right away she wouldn't have posted it on AITA
She saw the red flags otherwise she wouldn't have posted.
I think that she was not sure about herself because her surrounding was trying to gaslight her about following her guts. She is only 23 and needs a bit of validation and support more than anything else which is more than normal at that age.
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I JUST read that and came here lol. What a queen! He really just saw her and thought "wow, free housing, nanny, cook all in one!". So proud of her. Men feel so entitled to everything a woman has. Pure users.
Telling that he immediately dropped his nephew when she dumped him. That just shows that he was not a stable option for the child to begin with. Can you imagine what would have happened had they had broken up AFTER he and his nephew moved in?
And I believe the commenters were right: he was planning on dumping the “mother’s share” of the parenting responsibilities onto her once they moved in together.
Just the entitlement in his attitude where he ASSUMED the nephew would be welcome, without asking first, or sitting down and having a discussion with her about whether taking him in is an option for them.
Beautiful!!!
Thrilled she saw right through his BS and never let him mooch off of her. He's a POS
If it’s one thing men have it’s the audacity.
In the comments, someone is trying to convince me it's unreasonable not to want to meet with a man's kids right away because keeping on a dating schedule with a kid is hard 😂
Yes, it is hard. That's why I want to make sure he can do it.
The boy’s entire family is unfit to raise him in any kind of stable home, and I’m guessing the dad’s going to jail for murdering his mother. Foster care is the better option for the child than remaining with anyone in that family, a point proven by the fact that OP’s bf flaked on the boy.
OP did very well in using boundaries to protect both herself and the boy. I hope she never lets a man into her beloved house until she's a little older and vets tf out of him.
The ex-boyfriend's entitlement makes my blood boil and reminds me of an experience I had with an LVM ex-boyfriend several years ago. I have always been adamantly child-free (and always will be) and made it clear to my LVM ex-boyfriend, from the beginning, that I never wanted children. I asked him multiple times if he was OK with never having children, and he said yes. But what did he do when his best friend had twins? He told me we would become "uncle and auntie" to these twins, implying we'd spend a lot of time with them and perhaps become their godparents. This was "totally OK" because he was not asking me to bear any children of my own.
He straight-up wanted to surrogate someone else's children into our relationship. He presumed I would be overjoyed for him to volunteer my time, effort, and money to help raise someone else's children. The level of entitlement hit me like a brick wall, and I noped the fuck out of that relationship shortly after.
I despise men like this. Stay away from men who want to turn you into a surrogate mother/godparent/auntie without asking your permission. It might seem like a compliment, depending on how he presents it, but make no mistake—it is entitlement, through and through.
No man will ever move in with me ever again. I don't want a man in my home ever again. If I ever do date, I'll go to his house then leave when I am done with him.
This woman needs a FDS handbook send to her. Men who want to live in the house you inherited just want to take it from you.