(seen in a newspaper from the late 1890s)
“There is a woman in St. Louis looking for a husband.” [Here they inserted her name and mailing address, along with the fact that she is “not yet 40.”] “She still puts the word ‘miss’ before her name, as she has not yet succeeded in getting a man compatible with her tastes. She wants a husband who will be kind and loving always, one who will not grumble when a hastily prepared and hardly cooked meal is put before him, and one who will be willing to do chores when his wife is feeling indisposed…. Her mail is heavier than that of any other resident on the postman’s route. She does not confine herself to corresponding with young men and old men in one section of the country; she has prospective husbands ‘on the strong’ in all parts of the United States…. Lately [the chief of police] has received numerous letters from men in various sections of the country asking for information concerning her. They write that her love seems to be growing cold and they cannot account for it...." The St. Louis detectives called on her for more information. "She admitted that she had answered the letters, but said that she had a right to do so, as she was looking for a husband. If, after a week or more, she discovered by the letters the man was not just the one she was looking for, she thought that it was proper for her to cease the correspondence and look to some other.” Additional info here on a man a few states away who had sent her a ring, thinking he was the only one she was writing to, and then wrote to the police asking them to get his ring back…. She “readily gave up the ring, remarking that if he could not trust her she could not trust him…. [She] said that she did not know of any law to compel her to give up a search for a husband; that is a woman’s prerogative and one she felt justified in exercising and which she would continue to exercise.”
I accidentally left out the part that told where she was getting their names and addresses. Apparently there were "matrimonial newspapers" where such things were published. Sort of like online dating, only 1890s newspaper style. Not sure if she was initiating the correspondence, or if she was running a notice for herself and then the mail started pouring in. Anyway, it looks like she was vetting ruthlessly, and the public was looking on her with disdain for having the nerve!
Looks like we've found the patron saint of FDS 🙏