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Two years ago in 2022 I made a post about my life as a Single Income, No Kids woman living on my own. I was 22 and I’m now currently 24. Oh how the years fly by! After I realized this amazing Summer has just flown by I thought “why not do an update to my SINK life?” The next time I remember might be never haha. I’m very rarely online nowadays.
I was in such a different stage of life at 22 than I am now at 24. I was traveling all the time for work, had no rent nor utilities nor bills beyond my cellphone, food, and car note, and was going through a weird stage of break up sadness, rebounds, and then a harem of men. I got my first six figure job in my trade then quit all because of a jealous ex. 🙄 Took a not-as-good job to just have one. But then started a new job just two months later that ended up being pretty nice, too. Not six figures, but still great pay, benefits paid for by employer, bonuses, incentives, and really lenient bosses who don’t care if I come in late as long as I finish all my work. It’s super chill.
I may have had less responsibilities at 22, but I wasn’t anywhere near as stable and financially secure as I am now at 24. I own my car, have a house, a beautiful dog, and can genuinely say I have enough left over after all my bills to really enjoy myself at the end of the day. My life is going great, my quality and balance of work and life is perfect. I adore my home, my friends, my pet and I’m currently living my best life. My Summer has literally been full of BBQs, pool parties, float trips, beach vacations, festivals, slumber parties, concerts, movie nights, road trips, and literally SO many amazing, fun, wonderful events. I am so happy.
I know why 22 year old me was vehemently childfree and if you told her I’d want kids at 24 she’d probably would have spat at you. But it’s true. Now that I am financially secure and able to take on some OT if I want to afford ANOTHER vacation (lol) I don’t see a real barrier between me living my best life AND being a single mother. While I admit traveling with both my dog AND baby would be a bit of a handful, I’d probably just prefer roadtrips to airplane rides. Something I never spoke about was how terrified I was at that age to get knocked up by a broke man and spend the rest of my life struggling, broke, and miserable. I wouldn’t have the stability and lifestyle I have now if I’d gotten pregnant by the first guy who wanted my children. Nor if I’d succumbed to the second, third, fourth, etc. Would the third have made a good dad? Yes, but I was 19 and that wasn’t gonna happen because I would have made a terrible mother! Well, I got my sterilization surgery scheduled this month for next year and that is gonna ensure that my autonomy stays firmly mine. Only my husband or a donor will have access to my womb. Only I can make the choice of when or if I ever have kids. And that when is pretty huge. I think by my early 30’s I’ll have done enough that I’ll finally feel comfortable having a kid. I don’t want more than one, though, if I’m gonna be a single mother. If I’m married… I could see more.
With the security I have now I know I’m not gonna struggle UNLESS something wild and crazy happens, like getting into an accident that makes me paralyzed or something. But even then that’s what my insurance is for and why I pay for it. I’m so secure where I’m at. It’s beautiful, honestly. I never thought I’d get here. And because I can plan to be a single mom if by the time I hit, say 32, and am still single I won’t have to miss out on big milestones like having a baby and raising a child. My savings accounts are growing, my retirement account is growing, and if I have a child we will be fine. All that to say, I am also making sure to protect my assets I have now and make sure any man I agree to marry is a GOOD, HIGH VALUE man who will understand my desire for a prenup and falls into my culture of his money is for the family and any money I make is for myself. Not hard, as I live in the Midwest and this is the general culture here, but there’s been a lot of coastal transplants so you always have to be on the lookout for culture clash.
So yeah. That’s the update. I love the life I’ve made for myself. I’m free, I’m happy, and the best part is no one can take this away from me. No one can ruin my life. True independence and freedom is so sweet. My advice to any ladies out here is that life is worth living even if you don’t have a man attached to ya. Don’t let the lack of a man stop you from hitting milestones. Buy the house. Have a baby. Take that vacation. Regardless, it’s gonna be a good time and so worth it. Get used to doing things alone because once you start trusting yourself you’ll find you can take on more than you thought! Be fearless. Be bold. It’s always worth the risk. 😄
This is so goals, I'm so happy for you!
Very happy to see this for you! There's nothing wrong with wanting kids, I really liked reading your mindset and goals about kids. You're smart and really preparing yourself (and them) for when it happens. You will be a great mother. You can definitely be a single mom - remember not to get tempted to settle for any scrotes. My late best friend was in her early 30s and was loosing weight and going to therapy as she wanted to have kids. She was fully prepped to be a single mom as none of the scrotes were worth her settling down with. We discussed adoption and "sperms bank" options but unfortunately she passed away before anything. There's just a lot of options where you do not need a scrote.