Level up victories of the week ✌

I love hearing about all your wins! Keep them coming! I'm currently very pleased with myself for graduating my PhD, calling it quits with a poisonous asshole and quitting smoking while in isolation covid: 4 days and counting with no cigarettes and I haven't been a mega super uber bitch to my poor captive family :)

I’ve been working out 45 minutes a day or more for about a month and a half, trying to lose the stress weight after a break up with a controlling man. I was doing it throughout the day as I worked from home, either doing it in pieces, or starting late in the day. I realized that schedule was kind of bumming me out. I was plodding through my to do lists. So I started doing it first thing in the morning after breakfast, and I have felt really good since then. I’m getting the ‘antidepressant’ effect of working out, feeling so much more motivated and cheerful throughout the day.

My level up: finding FDS for the first time, and without ever having to engage with Reddit. And to those women who endured that, including the mods... I am so sorry you all had to endure that garbage, and I am glad you are now all here in what I hope to be a safe space.

I [F 46] have spent the majority of my life as a hot mess in terms of dating. After a lot of self-reflection over the past few months, I came to the realization that while I am a Queen in so many ways--independent! successful! well-read! engaging! active! love myself!--I am simply inept at vetting men, owing to generations of pretty f'ed up ideas about dating, men, and partnerships in general.

Queens... I have been casting my pearls before swine. I have made it my mission in 2022 to wise up and level up.

Enter: FDS. I'm not sure how I landed on it, exactly, but I think it was through online searches for dating advice (which is plentiful and, often, terrible). I found the podcast a few months ago and began dipping a toe into it, at first being kind of terrified. Let's be honest, it's a lot and some if it is tough medicine, especially if, like me, you were raised to believe that the end-all, be-all in life was to find a man--and, in order to do so, you were going to have to lower your standards and accept garbage behavior from them. In other words, better to suck it up and deal with pain than to be alone.

It seems like a logical thing to stand back and look at that as being utterly ridiculous, but let me tell you, the longer you live with that kind of programming, the harder it is to undo. I am happy to report that I'm updating my software to the latest version... and already things are running better.

Sorry! This ended up being long. But I'm just so damned happy to be here, you have no idea. Thank you. :)

One of the things I’m my level up list has been to get out and do social things more. I’ve been meeting new women friends and this week I went to adult night at the roller rink!! It was a blast and I’m making it a regular thing.

I have made my daily journaling a priority again! I found a metaphysical shop close to me that has a weekly meet up with a great community of accepting people.

This week I inspired a coworker to learn how to code! I just fixed a quick java bug in our system on a call with her (she's on IT but only does admin work). Later on that day, she reached out to tell me that seeing another woman being able to code inspired her to pursue it too 🥺 She's from a small city in India (we work remotely, I'm in Europe), and her family had discouraged her from pursuing Computer Science. Because she's a woman and isn't "capable of doing that". She still put her foot down and started working in IT, though — mostly doing low-code solutions and dealing with databases. I gave her a bunch of free resources for Python and Java, and we're going to ask HR to sponsor some paid courses for her next week (it's a perk in our company, they cover any training costs if we want to learn something that's useful to them). I'm just — my heart is so full because of that. This is why we need female role models. Nina Tandon was mine, she's the reason I have a Master's in biomedical engineering today. We need to inspire and support each other! I'm just starting my career, but I'm already so excited to be able to lift other women along the way <3

I finally let go of a FWB situation with an ex.... (it was a LDR/online thing)... I was wanting him to plan more into allotting adequate 'sexy' time willingly spent with me, but even that was disappointing/made me upset cause he'd always try to put as little time as he could get away with for that.. i felt shortchanged.. it was always me making adjustments to suit both our schedules... & deep down i was looking for real intimacy/affection, and that situation wasn't real, it was just more escapism.. i have lots of things i need to fix in my own life first.. till then i will stay away from online entanglements

I don't know If this counts as a win lol... but I finally got to read all the Christmas Romance novels...I was suppose to read in December lmfao.

I'll rate them down below...

In A Holidaze - 2.5/5

Window Shopping- 2/5

So This Is Christmas - 4/5

Let's see Have been meditating every day for 50 days. Got myself on a regular sleep schedule after terrible insomnia How? I discovered the app Ticktick which has everything I needed to track habits. Woebot app. It's a mental health app that I found very helpful to deal with anxiety etc. that contributed to insomnia.

Air fryers are magic. I'm a believer.

I got my company to agree to sponsor my MBA this week! It took a while to convince them but I did it! :) I already applied and was accepted to the program but now I don't have to take out a loan or worry about paying bills to fund it!

Also got around to switching my dentist, no more driving over an hour (one-way) every visit. Kept putting off the switch because my previous dentist was so good, but it's just way too far. One thing off my mind.

I left my abusive and cheating ex boyfriend and moved to Europe, i’m still working on getting back on my feet and finding a job, i’m also looking forward starting a new career.

I’m learning from a YouTube channel and some documentation how to use an animation program - and drawing different variations of a character to use in a future animation. Completely self made and it feels royally good 👸🏻

I finally got my driver's license at 32.

Oh, and I almost forgot! Got my minister license 😎 to perform my best friend’s wedding ceremony!

Thinking about something before doing it, I recently learned, is actually a way to set habits- I didn’t read the book, but got the cliff notes from a friend, about forming mental “habit loops” ie, thinking about going to the gym a few weeks before actually going. Sort of similar to the whole “put on your gym clothes and you’ll want to work out” school of thought. So, yo, that’s awesome about cooking at home! I’m trying to do some of the same. I’m moving tomorrow morning, so I’m trying to a set new habits when I do, to cook more and better stuff, play more piano (I’ve been playing every day and getting kinda decent), and do more yoga (I’ve fallen off of that train due to the chaos/emotions of moving) and generally trying to self actualize through therapy and self care. Let’s get it, queens!