.png)
Many sisters come to FDS desperately hoping that you will unlock the "secret" to obtain that perfect HVM - so that you finally, finally can get that happily ever after.
In the meantime, you keep dealing with disappointment one after another and getting frustrated - because every time you feel like "this is it!" - you get burned, again.
You start feeling frustrated and losing hope altogether.
Now what's wrong with this scenario?
You treat happiness as a GOAL - at the core of it, it is not about the HVM exactly - it is about YOU wanting to be HAPPY, and you put finding HVM as a requirement to reach that GOAL.
But here's the thing - putting happiness as a goal is a surefire way to ensure that you will never be truly happy.
Happiness is a state - you either feel happy or you don't. And unlike anger and sadness where it is easy to feel sad and/or angry when things happen, it is actually harder to allow yourself to feel happy and also retain that happiness - especially as an adult.
Because somehow, during our growth - society has trained out our innate ability to feel happy and instead convince us that we have to achieve x, y, and z goals - only then will we be happy. Only when we find our "prince charming" that we can be "happily ever after".
Funny how that works considering as a toddler, we feel happy simply by playing in rain and watching the stars.
Society as we all know it by now - is full of patriarchy pandering, toxic-laden people who just want all of us, especially women, to be miserable, exhausted and crazy chasing after that "happiness" which in reality is a LIE.
SO LET'S STOP THAT CYCLE OF LIE RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
Focus on making YOURSELF happy.
Focus on improving every areas of your life and heal yourself from old traumas.
Stop feeling desperate and chasing after disappointments and lies.
Stop being so afraid of alone time and start discovering the things you want to do but never seem to find the time before. Or try something new, something out of your comfort zone.
Decenter yourself from men and thinking about "the one" - and start imagining what your future looks like with you doing whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want.
When FDS says dating and relationship are suppose to be fun - THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO BE FUN! No pressure to "keep this one down" and feeling yourself tied up on a chain.
If you aren't satisfied with him because of whatever reason - there's no stopping you from leaving, blocking and deleting.
Because you are PRIORITIZING YOURSELF and not some arbitrary goals and milestones you have to achieve to satisfy the society.
There is nothing "cruel" and "selfish" about prioritizing your happiness ladies - toxic society says it that way because they benefit from you having no boundaries and being perpetually unhappy.
So lets stop that stupid ass bullshit now and BE HAPPY.
Yes! This is the truth. And it is so important and valuable. Stop being a slave, stop being pathetic, dont allow yourself to be less than you know you are. Set boundaries and dont use this advice to excuse other people's behaviour. Meaning don't accept a guy that prioritises his happiness and wants over yours. He should fully take care of himself and be responsible for himself and focus on you and make your life better through his existence in it. Only you should prioritise your happiness and needs over anyone. Cause youre the one risking more as a woman in a relationship (socially, emotionally, mentally, and hopefully no other way) sex is also more risky and taxing on a woman than a man psychologically, financially and time wise.
This is great advice. When I was young I prioritized relationships 100% over myself. I didn’t even realize what I wanted because I was so obsessed with “him” and how “he” made me look/feel/etc. it took years to develop into myself. To identify my thoughts and wants.