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So was talking to a guy I’d started to like on OLD. Good conversation and similar interests too. Plus I was attracted. He showed confidence in just throwing it out there that he’d like to take me on a date (he used the word date. Unheard of these days) I said I’d like that and would speak about it later as I was busy. Later on whilst messaging he never brought it up again. I was very annoyed. The next day he asked if I’d be free for a coffee or drink!!!! What a total fuckery!!! I wrote out that I don’t do coffee or drink dates but then decided I didn’t want to waste my time and energy so suggested a FaceTime call instead and let him know then. Glad I did as I thought it was going great until he wrapped up the call after 10mins!!!! And he said we should go out soon….soon??! Those were red flags to me. Why end the call so soon? Why not arrange something there and then?
Afterwards I received no follow up text…crickets!! Later in the evening I thought I’d check if he was on the online dating site. And there he was! So I blocked him on everything!
If a man can’t make plans asap or have the decency to follow up a call with ‘enjoyed speaking let’s go out’
FUCK HIM OFF!
He shouldn’t be hesitant and making space for other men to snap you up. That means hes a time waster and not into you. Save your time and energy queens.
Remember he needs to chase. Don’t ask him for a FaceTime call next time. If he mentioned the date and didn’t bring it up again, that’s your clue to block and delete or unmatch. Also, remember to never get attached to anyone and date multiple guys at once.
Ugh what a scrote. Block and delete at the coffee and drink date suggestion. You could have saved your precious time and energy.
Baby steps, we're learning! Next time.
I used to think accepting one of these low effort dates is no big deal, give them all the benefits of the doubt, Equality etc. Etc. Then i see how much the entire world seems to HATE women with this Amber johnny saga and I think, why should I ever let one of them the opportunity to get close to me at all if he's not a straight gentleman prince charming at all times.... even a rich heartthrob i had a poster of in my bedroom as a teenager (who is too old for me and yet married a woman younger than me barf) would treat me like shit and drag me to the entire world!
The thing you did wrong-ish was that as soon as he uttered the word “date”, you didn’t follow up with: “sure, give me a day, time, and place”. That right there was a small issue on your end. You asking him those three things puts the “ball on his court”.
This is a learning process, and I'm glad you blocked him. But I would like to more gently second the other comment that said that your mistake was not just asking "when and where?" I get that you were busy in that moment. But asking when and where would have bought time and would have kept the momentum going. He should have brought it back up later, for sure. But next time, maybe don't tell them you'd discuss it later. I'm sorry things went sideways. It's always disappointing.
Isn't the whole point of text/old messaging that you can wait til you have a moment to reply? I agree that he ended up deescalating and playing games, but your answer: maybe later, I'm busy -is a red flag that you are a time waster. I would immediately unmatch someone who said that- and if it was a new friend or a woman I would never reach out to her again if I got that response.