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You become powerful when your self respect is stronger than your feelings.
My soon-to-be-ex husband (5 years married, 8 years together) left me for his coworker he rendezvoused with on a work trip. I was absolutely devastated and didn’t want to get a divorce. Although we had a few issues, infidelity was not one of them. The night he left I vowed to reclaim the wholeness I sacrificed to make him feel full.
It’s been almost three months since he left. Yesterday, I received an email from him telling me that he made a grave mistake and life without me is miserable and that he wants to work on us.
I stared at that email and noticed that it made my skin crawl. After 3 months of pouring into myself and healing, I am so much happier alone. I’ve decided that I won’t be responding to his email and I’m meeting with a lawyer on Monday to continue the divorce process.
Ladies, if you don’t do the inner work you won’t be able to set boundaries and protect your precious heart. You have to know your worth. No amount of podcasts, strategies, books, etc. will make up for the necessary healing work that will force you to walk away from situations that don’t serve you. Choose. Your. Self.
My heart breaks for the way your soon to be ex husband treated you, and I'm OVER JOYED at your response! What an incredible and healthy path to choose. Best of luck queen 👑 Looking forward to updates
"The night he left I vowed to reclaim the wholeness I sacrificed to make him feel full."
This is genius...it's exactly what we do as women...try to fulfill men, who are so stunted emotionally we end up feeling FOR them...and losing ourselves.
Amazing revelation. Doing the inner work is certainly healing and the most necessary part of this process. What you are going through and how you are handling this time of your life really speaks to me of your ultimate inner strength and knowing your self worth down to your true core....the one you had all along this journey both with and now without him. Now is your time to fill your own cup so much so that it overflows with abundance you are literally creating in your own life. I love it! Sending you all my good vibes right now.
A Little Time by The Beautiful South is a song that beautifully captures this. My ex left me then got all hurt when I promptly made a beautiful life for myself. It was on FDS that I learned that men often don’t think a relationship is over until they decide it is so while my ex leaving the house was absolute finality for me, for him it was just a little time. I didn’t behave the way he thought I would.
How much do you want to bet it didn't work out with the coworker? Classic ..... so glad you have found peace without him! Queen 👑
Just curious have you been on the website chumplady? She writes all about infidelity and she is HILARIOUS. Look her up queen, and good riddance to bad rubbish. Xxx
I admire your firm resolve. I think you’d absolutely love Chump Lady which I stumbled upon on the sub reddit: https://www.chumplady.com/ it’s a treasure trove community of women who chose themselves after infidelity and fds aligned. It’s no surprise he came back. Scrotes gonna scrotate. I’m happy you’re thriving!
Well done you! I’m so sorry you had to go through this, and be let down like this. Giving up on marriage means giving up on so many things, and everything connected to hopes and dreams and life plans. But also Congratulations! I dunno if you have gotten to that point yet, but a new totally open future opens up for you to make new plans and new dreams that fit you even better 🤍 I’ve gone through a divorce too. And it allowed me to embark on this journey of really figuring out What Do I Like?? From my bedroom temperature to food, to cultural things, sexual things (you can have so much fun on your own sis!). Earlier when people told me «this and this got a divorce/split up» I’d be sad for them. Now I usually think «good for her!». I send you so much love and tho going through it is really hard, I hope you’ll find it just as rewarding as I did. Rooting for you sis! 🤍
This is amazing, I love this.
From a fellow sister who left a marriage due to a cheating husband, it just keeps on getting better. I’m 5 years out now and have zero regrets. It is so liberating once you reclaim yourself, and your life begins to fall into place. I am remarried now. If I had stayed with my ex, I would never know the happiness my career, my child, and my new partner would bring.
Sending good vibes and support your way!
Omg... I came on FDS tonight because I'm having a particularly hard time getting over a breakup... after over a month of no contact, my ex sent me an email last night and he is all I can think about today.
But reading your post, and how much you knocked this challenge out of the park, and especially how you said "After 3 months of pouring into myself and healing, I am so much happier alone" really gave me a lot of encouragement!! I love everything about this post and I will save it to read later.
You are a badass!!!! Thank you for posting this and inspiring others. <3
Congrats and well done. Pat yourself on the back for the tangible proof of how far you've come
Men always seem to be crawling back when A You‘re doing much better without him, And B their newest fling isn’t as hard working and catering around the household like you are.
Good on you for leaving Him where he belongs, among trash. Don’t even respond to him and just keep on staying busy. If you curled up in a ball for a few years he either enjoys that you are miserable without him or he’s using that as a validation for leaving. Because you’re “emotionally unstable” When it comes to men, Silence is the best answer. Just ignore any attempt to reach out to you.