"this girl". Jesus. Also note how he mainly lists paying for stuff. He's basically saying he's upset that his gf can't be bought. She made it clear that she wants real commitment, and he throws a fit. I hope she wakes up and leaves him.
“I never felt like like there was a limit as to what you would do for your partner if you really loved them.” “I’d do anything for her.” Except commit, apparently. Always cute when men try to gaslight by calling marriage a “title” and nothing more.
He wants to try new things in bed that she’s refusing. Hmmm… wonder if the generosity will stop once he gets what he wants. We know that men often change once you have sex with them; this guy might change once he has tried everything he wants to try with a particular woman. Good thing she’s setting limits. There are things sexually that I definitely wouldn’t do with someone other than my husband for good reason.
47
Unknown member
Jul 09, 2023
Replying to
A part of me suspects "something different" could actually be unprotected sex. I've heard of so many men getting into relationships soley for the purpose of having condomless sex and will badger their poor girlfriends into it. If that's the case, then it makes 100% sense for her to not risk pregnancy without a legal commitment from him. "My girlfriend doesn't feel comfortable having unprotected sex with me before marriage" doesn't quite hit the same as "My girlfriend won't try something a little different in the bed just becaue I won't 'pUt a rING oN iT'." Whatever it is, this whole thing reeks of deliberate omission and manipulative framing on his part.
I didn’t think of that. Good point! I just assumed it was something degrading. I think a lot of women just give in to the unprotected sex argument, so he’s shocked she’s standing her ground if that’s the case.
Unknown member
Jul 10, 2023
Replying to
I initially thought so too, but if it's something she finds fundamentally degrading then it shouldn't make a difference whether or not they're married. It would be unpleasant for her either way. Unprotected sex is one of those sexual boundaries that makes perfect sense to condition on marriage. Babies are a consequence and marriage puts you on the hook for that consequence.
Unknown member
Jul 07, 2023
Obviously a post hiding an agenda. This man doesn't represent all men in giving or buying gifts for a woman. Men are more likely to fuck and ghost you than pay for your expenses.
The only thing this girlfriend did wrong was tell him, out loud, about the wifey benefits vs girlfriend benefits. He clearly is not going to marry her, and thinks this relationship is transactional. This man is holding everything that he has paid for over her head. He is keeping track of expenses, he wouldn't be doing that if he really loved her.
It reminds me of this son who turned 18 and his father gave him an itemized list of everything that he paid for for his son. The son paid him back and never talked to his father again.
My ex continually brought up occasions where he paid for me months and years after the fact to get me to do stuff he wanted me to do. It was like he was collecting credits he intended to cash in at some point, all that "generosity" was for his own benefit in the end. I can't even operate inside that kind of framework. He frequently asked me "what I contribute to this relationship" and I never had a ready-made list of things to throw at him so I always came off worse in those arguments. I don't keep score. But when I think about it, I've done so much for other people who were never able to "pay me back" but I didn't care because I had something to give to make someone happy and so I did. Like buying a round of drinks for your colleagues and never worrying about it again because you know that at some other point in life you will be invited to something without having to pay it back too. That's how community works.
Unknown member
Jul 07, 2023
Replying to
Totally agree with this. Strategically, it’s a bad idea for a woman to tell a man how she’s strategically assessing his behaviour. And you know something has gone wrong when you find yourself telling your man to propose ‘or else’, which is essentially what she’s been cornered into doing.
If he was actually planning to marry her, thought she was “the one,” and felt excited to spend his life with her, he would not be concerned that she is being self-protective for another year or two before they marry. He would know that she would generously give to him for the following 50+ years. This guy is clearly trying to extract maximum short-term benefit from this young woman that he doesn't love, and he is frustrated that his money won’t go infinitely far because she has self-respect and is a human being and not a mommy bangmaid sex slave for purchase.
35
Unknown member
Jul 09, 2023
Replying to
Very true, I think it's extremely telling that in this entire post, he doesn't once mention his own thoughts about marriage. It is so bizarre that this topic of marriage has come up multiple times between them but it seems like he hasn't told her yet where he stands. If your girlfriend is constantly bringing up commitment, the next logical step is to sit down and have a serious discussion about your stance on marriage, not run to the Internet and ask what is the bare minimum you can get away with as a boyfriend. I would somewhat kinda understand if he said that he feels like they're too young or he doesn't know if he wants to marry her yet, but he doesn't breathe a word of it. He doesn't even say that he thinks it's too soon to talk about marriage. And that's because secretly, he doesn't want to marry her and he knows that. Obviously he can't come out and say he has no intention to marry her, because then his girlfriend is totally justifed in waiting for a more serious commitment and he can't play victim on the Internet anymore.
Lmao this guy is really crying on reddit because his GF isnt willing to become a mommy and do what he wants her to do in bed before any further committment. She clearly doesnt want to be taken advantage of and is therefore placing boundaries. She is right in not doing wifey things for a man who is not her husband. Nothing he has said indicates any intention of marrying her either.
Unpopular opinion: she's an idiot for straight up telling him. Ruining strategy for herself and other women.
27
Unknown member
Jul 07, 2023
Replying to
YES. Never give away the playbook. Some think that they are teaching men how to treat them by explaining their standards. We don't teach men...that's what their mommy should do, not us.
All that happens when you share the playbook is you teach them how to better con other women.
Generally true, but men like this one are so easily offended by a woman wanting serious commitment that it's unlikely he'll "play along" just because she told him. And she gained valuable insight (that her man just sees her as a coin-operated dispenser of sex and labor).
Everyone’s comments sum this whole thing up nicely. He’s insincere and doesn’t “love” her as he claims because if he did, he wouldn’t be holding over her head, all the things he’s done for her. He either doesn’t know or doesn’t care to know what it is to be a man that has a healthy dose of masculinity. Nature has made it so that men protect and provide so when I hear men complaining about having to do that, I know that they’re dysfunctional.
If his girlfriend did absolutely nothing for him then he’d have a point but she clearly does some things for him but has boundaries and it’s her boundaries he’s not happy with. Anyone who has a problem with another person’s boundaries is showing that they want to take advantage of the person. Good people are happy that others do what they can to protect themselves; they’re not angry about it. It’s like a friend being upset with you for getting a new security system for your home. Only a friend hoping to rob you or hoping you get robbed would be annoyed that you’re doing what you can to protect yourself.
If a man has good intentions towards a woman and is HV, then he’ll know that a woman should have her boundaries and not easily trust him until he shows her that he can be trusted. He would know how men pose a threat to women and therefore want to show a woman that he comes in peace. This guy wants to be able to take full advantage of his gf and is upset that he can’t.
If I could, I’d ask him: why are you still dating her if you feel that you do so much for her and she does nothing or not as much for you? You should’ve chosen better. I’d give him what men always give us. They always ask us why we stayed with men who mistreated us so I’d do the same thing back to him.
Lastly, kudos to his girlfriend for having boundaries. Where she went wrong was telling him her game plan of wanting proper commitment before doing anything else. She should’ve kept that to herself. Women should never tell men what our MO is.
In my opinion a woman really shouldn’t have to do anything for a man except show up. I see it similarly to looking for a job. You send out your resume and then wait for an invitation to interview. If you’re selected from there you’re hired. Once hired you have to prove you were a good fit for the job. The job simply has to exist and then you do what need to be done to get it. In this case the job is being this woman’s husband and potential father to her children.
I agree with you, to a degree. A woman shouldn’t have to “perform” to get a man but you can’t say that a woman doesn’t have to do anything and then she’ll able to get man. What a woman does have to do is be her most authentic self. She shouldn’t have to pretend to be something she isn’t to get a man but she shouldn’t have an arrogant feeling of “not having to do anything”.
A HV man would also be looking out for how a woman carries herself, how she thinks, how she behaves in certain situations and so on which is what a HV woman would/should be doing.
Men are so whiny, they want everything a husband has while doing Zilch. I do think the fds handbook should have a checklist about what a man has to do to deserve the husband privilige, I know the first step is to marry you but what else?
In my pick me days I thought a man like that has a big heart but also of gold, and I would give him my world if he is willing to do so much until I got wiser and realise that men's kindness and generousity has an experation date, When briefly dated a person he was generous, he was willing to buy things I like until I said no to sex. that's where things went down hill. Men are the nicest to you when you haven't slept with them or said no to them.
I wanted to start a future with a protegy football player, I was willing to support his career and even raise his children so that he can be the best, I wanted nothing to get in his way to become a professional and he seemed to be on the same page until I said no to Nudes several times, Then he's too busy to talk, and deliberately forgetting my birthday and eventually I got ghosted.
There are many men who go cold on you after they got what they wanted or when you reject them from getting what they want. I doged a bullet I could be Barbera the builder and end up in the first wives club.
The lessons you learnt are sound. Nobody is nicer than men who are looking for sex or a place to stay (amongst other things they might want from a woman).
These men with a 50/50 attitude are so annoying. Why does he keep bringing up how much she doesn’t work? He should get used to that if he expects children. Why is she even paying rent? She’s completely right. He needs to marry her if he expect anything else. This is more proof why you should not move in with a man. They begin to expect wife treatment. Next.
I applaud this young woman for setting boundaries at an age when many of her contemporaries do not have boundaries at all. However, I think she has not gone far enough in enforcing them.
Clearly, she's doing some things in bed for her boyfriend. I think starting an ongoing sexual relationship with anyone before getting the commitment you want (an engagement ring, in her case) is a mistake. Personally, I would not have started sleeping with him (or stopped sleeping with him entirely) once I found out he had such an obvious non-provider attitude.
Boundaries are hard to enforce if you go halfway on some but not others. She has already let him get away with too much.
This whole post is disgustingly narcissistic. "I did so much for her!!!" shut up scrote.
5
Unknown member
Jul 29, 2023
Here's another fantasy post from the annals of Reddit about an "ungrateful woman" who talks about wifey duties to a very very generous man who gives out of the generousity of his heart:
l m25 has a girlfriend who's 23 and we've been together for about 3 years. She has been living in my apartment with me since our 3 month mark because things at her home were very bad and we felt this was a better choice due to me also living fairly close to her university.
l pay for everything whether it's something that benefits the both of us or something that just benefits her. I also have been paying for her university because I make a comfortable amount of money even though I've only been in my career for about two years. Anyways, recently for the past few months my girlfriend has been under the impression that she shouldn't do anything around the house because that's "wifey duties". I ask if she could tidy up around the house since she's free 24/7 because she's on summer break (aside for her part-time that she only works weekends) and she gets upset and says "those are wife duties and that she wasn't gonna give me the whole package without a ring". I ask her if she could make me a quick lunch if I'm running late to work or at least put some ingredients in a grocery bag so I can make it at work and she gives me the same bs about how that's wife duties. It's even gotten to the point when ever I ask about trying new things when it comes to s*x and she says the same things.
It just keeps getting annoying so finally yesterday, when I asked if she could pick up my dry-cleaning today because I would be working late and once again she replied with doing favors like that are for married couples, I lost it. l told her since doing simple tasks were for married couples then I wouldn't be paying for her next year of university, l wouldn't be funding her activities, letting her use my other car like it's hers, and she would need to start contributing to the house in-terms of bills or she can leave because of course those were things that only husband's did and I was in-fact not her husband. This resulted in her getting upset and claimed that I was manipulative and I shouldn't hold things that I do for her over her head. I didn't care what she had to say and told her that if she wasn't gonna fix her view on helping her partner out with simple task then I wouldn't help her as well. I then told her that I expected contributions for the bills until then or I would kick her out.
Whats the point of getting married if you do everything before? If we take everything as genuine then he should define for himself what he is willing to do for "just" a girlfriend. Its not her fault and its not like she lied about anything. I think everyone should do this, its just smart.
Also kinda wondering what "new things in bed" means...
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"this girl". Jesus. Also note how he mainly lists paying for stuff. He's basically saying he's upset that his gf can't be bought. She made it clear that she wants real commitment, and he throws a fit. I hope she wakes up and leaves him.
“I never felt like like there was a limit as to what you would do for your partner if you really loved them.” “I’d do anything for her.” Except commit, apparently. Always cute when men try to gaslight by calling marriage a “title” and nothing more.
He wants to try new things in bed that she’s refusing. Hmmm… wonder if the generosity will stop once he gets what he wants. We know that men often change once you have sex with them; this guy might change once he has tried everything he wants to try with a particular woman. Good thing she’s setting limits. There are things sexually that I definitely wouldn’t do with someone other than my husband for good reason.
Obviously a post hiding an agenda. This man doesn't represent all men in giving or buying gifts for a woman. Men are more likely to fuck and ghost you than pay for your expenses.
The only thing this girlfriend did wrong was tell him, out loud, about the wifey benefits vs girlfriend benefits. He clearly is not going to marry her, and thinks this relationship is transactional. This man is holding everything that he has paid for over her head. He is keeping track of expenses, he wouldn't be doing that if he really loved her.
It reminds me of this son who turned 18 and his father gave him an itemized list of everything that he paid for for his son. The son paid him back and never talked to his father again.
If he was actually planning to marry her, thought she was “the one,” and felt excited to spend his life with her, he would not be concerned that she is being self-protective for another year or two before they marry. He would know that she would generously give to him for the following 50+ years. This guy is clearly trying to extract maximum short-term benefit from this young woman that he doesn't love, and he is frustrated that his money won’t go infinitely far because she has self-respect and is a human being and not a mommy bangmaid sex slave for purchase.
Lmao this guy is really crying on reddit because his GF isnt willing to become a mommy and do what he wants her to do in bed before any further committment. She clearly doesnt want to be taken advantage of and is therefore placing boundaries. She is right in not doing wifey things for a man who is not her husband. Nothing he has said indicates any intention of marrying her either.
Unpopular opinion: she's an idiot for straight up telling him. Ruining strategy for herself and other women.
Everyone’s comments sum this whole thing up nicely. He’s insincere and doesn’t “love” her as he claims because if he did, he wouldn’t be holding over her head, all the things he’s done for her. He either doesn’t know or doesn’t care to know what it is to be a man that has a healthy dose of masculinity. Nature has made it so that men protect and provide so when I hear men complaining about having to do that, I know that they’re dysfunctional.
If his girlfriend did absolutely nothing for him then he’d have a point but she clearly does some things for him but has boundaries and it’s her boundaries he’s not happy with. Anyone who has a problem with another person’s boundaries is showing that they want to take advantage of the person. Good people are happy that others do what they can to protect themselves; they’re not angry about it. It’s like a friend being upset with you for getting a new security system for your home. Only a friend hoping to rob you or hoping you get robbed would be annoyed that you’re doing what you can to protect yourself.
If a man has good intentions towards a woman and is HV, then he’ll know that a woman should have her boundaries and not easily trust him until he shows her that he can be trusted. He would know how men pose a threat to women and therefore want to show a woman that he comes in peace. This guy wants to be able to take full advantage of his gf and is upset that he can’t.
If I could, I’d ask him: why are you still dating her if you feel that you do so much for her and she does nothing or not as much for you? You should’ve chosen better. I’d give him what men always give us. They always ask us why we stayed with men who mistreated us so I’d do the same thing back to him.
Lastly, kudos to his girlfriend for having boundaries. Where she went wrong was telling him her game plan of wanting proper commitment before doing anything else. She should’ve kept that to herself. Women should never tell men what our MO is.
Men are so whiny, they want everything a husband has while doing Zilch. I do think the fds handbook should have a checklist about what a man has to do to deserve the husband privilige, I know the first step is to marry you but what else?
In my pick me days I thought a man like that has a big heart but also of gold, and I would give him my world if he is willing to do so much until I got wiser and realise that men's kindness and generousity has an experation date, When briefly dated a person he was generous, he was willing to buy things I like until I said no to sex. that's where things went down hill. Men are the nicest to you when you haven't slept with them or said no to them.
I wanted to start a future with a protegy football player, I was willing to support his career and even raise his children so that he can be the best, I wanted nothing to get in his way to become a professional and he seemed to be on the same page until I said no to Nudes several times, Then he's too busy to talk, and deliberately forgetting my birthday and eventually I got ghosted.
There are many men who go cold on you after they got what they wanted or when you reject them from getting what they want. I doged a bullet I could be Barbera the builder and end up in the first wives club.
Why is she spilling the tea
She should dump the scroute.
Being married to him sounds like a nightmare, no thanks.
These men with a 50/50 attitude are so annoying. Why does he keep bringing up how much she doesn’t work? He should get used to that if he expects children. Why is she even paying rent? She’s completely right. He needs to marry her if he expect anything else. This is more proof why you should not move in with a man. They begin to expect wife treatment. Next.
What a clown 🤡 .
I applaud this young woman for setting boundaries at an age when many of her contemporaries do not have boundaries at all. However, I think she has not gone far enough in enforcing them.
Clearly, she's doing some things in bed for her boyfriend. I think starting an ongoing sexual relationship with anyone before getting the commitment you want (an engagement ring, in her case) is a mistake. Personally, I would not have started sleeping with him (or stopped sleeping with him entirely) once I found out he had such an obvious non-provider attitude.
Boundaries are hard to enforce if you go halfway on some but not others. She has already let him get away with too much.
This whole post is disgustingly narcissistic. "I did so much for her!!!" shut up scrote.
Here's another fantasy post from the annals of Reddit about an "ungrateful woman" who talks about wifey duties to a very very generous man who gives out of the generousity of his heart:
l m25 has a girlfriend who's 23 and we've been together for about 3 years. She has been living in my apartment with me since our 3 month mark because things at her home were very bad and we felt this was a better choice due to me also living fairly close to her university.
l pay for everything whether it's something that benefits the both of us or something that just benefits her. I also have been paying for her university because I make a comfortable amount of money even though I've only been in my career for about two years. Anyways, recently for the past few months my girlfriend has been under the impression that she shouldn't do anything around the house because that's "wifey duties". I ask if she could tidy up around the house since she's free 24/7 because she's on summer break (aside for her part-time that she only works weekends) and she gets upset and says "those are wife duties and that she wasn't gonna give me the whole package without a ring". I ask her if she could make me a quick lunch if I'm running late to work or at least put some ingredients in a grocery bag so I can make it at work and she gives me the same bs about how that's wife duties. It's even gotten to the point when ever I ask about trying new things when it comes to s*x and she says the same things.
It just keeps getting annoying so finally yesterday, when I asked if she could pick up my dry-cleaning today because I would be working late and once again she replied with doing favors like that are for married couples, I lost it. l told her since doing simple tasks were for married couples then I wouldn't be paying for her next year of university, l wouldn't be funding her activities, letting her use my other car like it's hers, and she would need to start contributing to the house in-terms of bills or she can leave because of course those were things that only husband's did and I was in-fact not her husband. This resulted in her getting upset and claimed that I was manipulative and I shouldn't hold things that I do for her over her head. I didn't care what she had to say and told her that if she wasn't gonna fix her view on helping her partner out with simple task then I wouldn't help her as well. I then told her that I expected contributions for the bills until then or I would kick her out.
Whats the point of getting married if you do everything before? If we take everything as genuine then he should define for himself what he is willing to do for "just" a girlfriend. Its not her fault and its not like she lied about anything. I think everyone should do this, its just smart.
Also kinda wondering what "new things in bed" means...