A High-Value, Queen-Shit activity that leveled me up!

I would like to share what has been one of the most high value things I’ve ever done and why I think it deserves it’s own post as being a true queen shit activity: volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Soooo many of the littles in BBBS are there because they are being raised by single moms. It truly takes a village! Not only are you helping a kid you are also being part of a community helping mothers. Helping out sisters = queen shit.

Kids need consistency and you know else who needs consistency? Healthy adults! Kids don’t get your excuses, they don’t really understand why you cancel. Kids see who shows up every week. Being that consistency for someone in need = high value.

Healing your inner child really levels up your mental health game. Nothing heals you like being a part of the solution. Plus you get to do things like go to the park, eat ice cream, have Disney sing alongs, and see the world from a child’s eyes. It’s a great way for childfree people, like myself, to help out the next generation without actually having kids.

You may meet other high value people. My Little’s sibling also has a Big and we often go out all four of us. There’s also BBBS events where we meet lots of other cool people. Obviously, the relationship is between you and the little and you need to make sure you aren’t *relying* on others for outings but they do happen and, in my experience, can result in high value friendships.

It’s not as expensive as you might think. They really drive in that as a Big, your job is not to be spending money on them. Gifts are only allowed with approval. It’s supposed to be about the experience. I have spent money on things like arcade parks, food, and zoo trips but my Little’s favorite activity that she always draws? Us going for a walk on a trail. I try to balance it out with the occasional “expensive” trip every 3-4 outings with walks, parks, beach trips, and library outings in between.

You get to practice unconditional love and patience on someone who is benefitting, not a useless scrote. I’ll eat fries for lunch for the 12th time in a row for my Little and thats it! I get to use my creativity during crafts for us. I once even set up an elaborate scavenger hunt that she will remember for the rest of her life.

The relationship you build can be amazing. It took months for me and my Little to get close but when we did, it is the best feeling. Knowing she feels safe enough to open up to me has been a healing experience.

It helps you remember that you are the type of person to look up to. I am realizing I am the only middle-upper class person my Little is close to. She recently asked me about college, something no one in her immediate family has been able to do but she is showing interest in. Showing her that these things are achievable means the world to me. The number one factor in whether an abused or neglected child will demonstrate resiliency is having a safe adult they look up to - someone that shows them there’s another way to live and that they can model. That’s the definition of a queen to me!

I’m sure I could keep going but I’ll stop there. I volunteered on a whim because I had just moved to a new city and didn’t know anyone. Doing this allowed me to go out and have fun with my Little weekly (you are supposed to commit to at least biweekly) and also introduced me to some high value adults that I now consider friends. It’s been a great experience and one that has definitely leveled me up.