A comment I saved from FDS sub that I absolutely loved.

I was going through my saved reddit posts/comments and came across this comment that I had saved and absolutely loved. Sharing it here in case anyone missed it and also bookmarking here for personal use. Entire credit for this goes to u/wetdog_ on reddit.

I believe the hardest part of FDS and being high value isn’t even subscribing ideologically, but becoming ruthless in your evaluation and ACTIONS of cutting men loose.

I think many of us here above a certain age can confidently say for a fact things never get better once they’ve soured, so you can be as “hv” as you want, but if you don’t have it in you or don’t develop the guts to DIP ASAP, then yes you will be doomed and all this time you spend on the internet hyping yourself into FDS will remain nothing but rhetoric.

Being single and dating forever, being perpetually looking (if you’re a romantic) isn’t being doomed, doomed is being in a dead end relationship or marriage for one, two, four or 10 years. I know the rules about forever girlfriending are clear so you probably won’t stick around for four. But what about one? And when you look back you know you should have dumped him at 5 months. Or date for 18 months knowing at 8 months your gut was telling you it’s not it.

Your question implies a binary: will I succeed in finding a hvm and having my happily ever after or am I doomed to not find him?

If only it were that easy. True “doom” is when you destine yourself to give up and settle for “could be worse” in order to not be alone.

True doom is if a man who was hv and made you happy, treated you right, turns on you eventually, you are unprepared or incapable of dumping him with the same - if not ease, of course, you’re human - but RESOLUTION as if you’d met him 3 weeks ago.

Being single is not the worst outcome.

Whenever I think of my “failed” relationships, personally I at least have the comfort that it was give or take a year, with each guy, seeing and doing new things, living a new life and new adventures. Id much rather that, much rather have a new boyfriend every year for the next twenty years, than have spent 5 years in a forever gf situation with some chump who’s no longer in the picture, or spend the next ten with a guy whose kids I bred and now rolls his eyes at me and makes me feel like the biggest drag on Earth.

Id rather live. Id rather fall in love, have fun, bond, have sex, see the world through someone new. Someone younger, older, different. Id rather start over 20x than beat a dead horse with the last scraps of my dignity, mental health and optimism.

Ultimately, doom will come if you can’t walk the talk bc you can GET a man but what will it be like? Walking the talk is hardest. Immerse yourself in FDS daily and eventually It’ll be easy to dump a guy after 4 dates or 2 months. Block and delete.

But what if it’s your boyfriend of 15 months who suddenly called you a stupid idiot for the first time in an argument? And what if you’re 32 when this happens and you feel you’re against the clock already?

What if it’s your husband of 5 years you caught “harmlessly” flirting with his long term ex over Facebook? Gd forbid these things happen to you, but if they do, this is when you need to have the balls and self esteem of steel to leave him.

Blocking OLD fuckboys saves your time, energy and protects you. But it’s just part of the bigger picture of flexing your self-preservation muscles for a scenario when your livelihood, human dignity or potentially your literal life are at stake.

If you can’t block and delete a guy who left you on read after lovebombing you, how you gonna dump your long term boyfriend when he messes up?

And If you can’t dump your boyfriend of 10 months who you just went public on social media, just introduced to your family (and the same week your most important ex got engaged 💀) because he called you a piece of shit in an argument, or he threw the phone at you and starting following random women on Instagram the whole weekend while you drove yourself sick with worry - are you gonna leave your cheating husband?

**Therein lies the importance of learning to stick the hell up for yourself when stakes are lower - that you build the backbone and strength to act decisively DESPITE THE FEAR of the unknown - for when stakes are highest.**

It’s scary. I know you can feel that because of your age, your baggage, your looks, your financial situation, YOUR WHATEVER, that you don’t have many options. Or any at all lol. Even though you may know you deserve better, you may think this is the only man you’re gonna get and he’s not that bad and there is no perfect man, right? I feel you, i really do.

And we’re not gonna tell you here that your Prince Charming hvm is out there, but if what you want is love, as least *try (again) to find it*. Do you want Love or do you just want A mAn? Fine, *a MaN* but *this one*? That’s what I thought.

Be brave, and TOUGHEN UP with these scrotes. Be ruthless in the pursuit of your own best interest even though you feel like an imposter - with time your character will grow to fill out those badass actions you’ve taken, and they will become 2nd nature. The philosophy(FDS), the actions (leaving and sticking up for yourself), and the genuine belief will sync inside of you eventually and there will be but one path. But only if you act and block/dump/leave him.

Today you may be a poor bitch whose boyfriend blocks her on instagram and she makes a fake account to stalk if he’s following someone. But tomorrow you can be a bitch that walks out of a restaurant because a guy called your hobby a waste of time - and not before ordering a doggy bag mid meal on his dime without breaking eye contact.

Today you may be a poor bitch who looks the other way when she knows her man is talking to women on social media, a bitch that keeps the peace. But tomorrow you are a bitch who lets the guy connect the dots (or not) of why your phone is out of service to him because you gave him one warning and one warning only.

Today you are a bitch crying at your boyfriend to not yell at you or not leave the house during an argument but tomorrow, you’ve had a divorce lawyer in silence for two months and got your ducks in a row and packed your shit and moved out while your husband was taking a “long lunch” with his wOrK WiFe for the second time in one week.

Today you are up all night checking the last WhatsApp online status of that guy who isn’t texting you anymore. Tomorrow you are JLo in that movie where she left her abusive husband.

Why these examples? Because **Doom is living a spineless, gutless life where men walk all over you with impunity.**

**A happy ending is the opposite of doom: a gutsy life of sticking up for yourself whenever and to whatever extent is needed.**

But the work starts small. With block and delete. With dumping him. With not negotiating with people who are bad faith actors. It starts with no letting society shame into staying in a failed relationship because of the fear or stigma of AnoThEr FaILeD ReLaTIoNsHiP. And all these guts you build, will come in handy in every aspect of your life and that is truth. But if you can’t rely on yourself to protect yourself in the small it will take a miracle for your to act decisively in the big and the terrible. Now, do you want to rely on a miracle or do you want to rely on yourself?

I am a big romantic and I love dating. FDS doesn’t mean you’ll be alone unless you find that perfect hvm, **it means you don’t stick around when any man - whether two dates, two years or two kids in - tries to fuck with you**.

FDS despite its name, is far more than a dating formula, it’s a philosophy of personal integrity where you don’t let anybody fuck with you. Especially when it’s the patriarchy and very especially when it’s individual men who you have blessed with your trust and the opportunity to be in just, loving, long-lasting relationship with you. You, someone who is fair-dealing, nice, sincere, and caring.

Doom, is when you live a life where people can fuck with you and get away with it, or where they try to fuck with you and you try to plead with them to not go so hard on you **instead of grabbing your purse/Netflix password/your kids/your half of everything and fucking off**.

Doom is staying where you know you aren’t wanted, but tolerated. And sometimes barely.

If you want the romance and the fun and enjoyment and excitement of dating by all means do so, but fire and replace men as needed. And as swiftly as needed. So you technically won’t be alone, but your rotation will be quick and agile because you chuck them as soon as they mess up. But I say, better to date 4 men in a year and toss each at 3 months when he blows it, than let the same one man make a fool out of you for 365 days.

That way you enjoyed four🤵🏻‍♂️🤵🏽‍♂️🤵🏿‍♂️🤵🏼‍♂️ men on their ✨best behavior✨, instead of one who was good for 1-3 months, then from 3-6 got comfortable, 6-9 was mediocre and 9-12 just the worst. See how much sense this makes when I put it like this lol same amount of time *but all profit* .

If you current man is giving you the silent treatment or being an abusive jerk, don’t tell yourself “oh but he was so great before I want to get back to that” or start googling yourself crazy over “is he a narc?” Instead tell yourself “If he’s a narc, then I could be getting lovebombed to the nines by another narc right now” so might as well.

Point is, while you seek that HVM, and entertain men during that search, at least entertain them when they’re on their best behavior only. Why would you put up with anything else?

The only doom is settling and that IS in your control.

Doom is *feeling* doomed if you never find a life partner. Having money and being unmarried and living alone is so much fun too, if you’re young and havent had the opportunity to do it, you can’t imagine how pleasant, interesting, and stress free it is. It’s peak lifestyle if you ask me. it’s certainly not lonely or depressing or hollow, it’s actually a freaking blast. Regardless of whether there’s no one to date at any given time.