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I work in healthcare and I see a range of patients across my district, but mostly older folk. I do enjoy getting into different conversations with them, but I have noticed that I am consistently asked whether I am married. This is both men and women, and the question itself doesn't bother me. It's about the same as asking whether I have brothers and sisters in my opinion - just a fact finding mission.
As it turns out, it's so much more than that! Brothers and sisters are of limited conversational use, but a husband (or in my case, lack of one) is about choosing the way I want to live. I won't say this invites judgement, because for them to judge me they'll have to believe me when I say I'm not overly interested.
"One day you'll meet the right man and you'll change your mind, love."
Sure. I'm open to it. One day I might meet a man who is consistent, kind, sensible, and makes a goddam effort. I'm not saying no partnership ever. But that's not what they hear me say. It was particularly amusing to hear this line from the man with 3 divorces under his belt; if you clearly don't know how to treat women, why do you assume I'll be able to meet someone who does?
Because that's the script in their head. I am 33 now; I wonder what will happen in 20 years time when I'm still having these conversations. Does anyone have this experience? As I age will they become more judgemental over my choices, after I've lived them long enough to prove them?
A friend of mine works as a home healthcare aid. One of her patients is a 90+ year old woman who regularly says “wanna know how i lived this long? I never got married, and never had any kids. That’s how.”
Some people can not and will not ever believe that a woman can be happy and single, much less can we be happy about being single. They'll always think youre lying when you say youre happy. They literally think you cry yourself to sleep most nights because you dont have a scrote taking up space. Just gotta block these morons out.
I mean, honestly, I’d just say, ‘yeah, it would be nice to meet a great man who made me feel that way. Know any?’
It would diffuse the situation w laugher and agreement. It’s not like you have to argue w people who don’t get it. In general I find people easier to deal w if I come over to their side first.
ime, as i age, no one cares. no one asks, no one gives a shit. married men for some reason think i’m in my 30s and constantly make blatant comments about my body, hair, etc, and tell me, “don’t get old.“ women sometimes ask me if i have children. younger women who are my friends don’t really care that i’m single. people care but they don’t. society is so weird.
Maybe I’m easily angered but I feel my blood boil when strangers ask personal questions. I don’t like it and it’s the reason why I don’t give attention to most people.
I assume they think it's just sour grapes on your end and every woman must secretly deep down want to spend their lives cooking for the same man as he ages terribly and probably abandons her when she becomes sick because ???
It's their way of saying something positive to console you. I think they think it's genuinely being nice.
I think it's a generation thing, in a lot of cases. Older generations got married, had kids, bought a house, and so on...that was the script. The script is starting to change w the newer generations I think.