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This isn’t the first time it happened with this girl. Her husband shut it down the first time it happened.
She thinks that she’s doing me a favour by introducing me to her middle eastern male friends (I’m not middle eastern btw…far from it lol). This time around, her husband wasn’t around, and she told me that she has a friend from back home who’s been looking to come to America, and he wants to find a “nice girl” to marry. Hahaha
Not only do I find this to be quite offensive, but quite appalling. How I think of it is, in what universe do I want to bring someone from another country just so that they can oppress me. Lol I’d be spending my resources to be controlled by a man who doesn’t know anything.
For the last five years of my life, I’ve been single, and I love it. I just got out of grad school, and found myself a good job. I bought my own car, and I can have anything I want. I love spending my Friday’s and weekends child-free. I love my independence and solitude.
I don’t want to be with a man and have to cater to him. I don’t want to be tied down to his whims, much to someone who’s new to the country and think they’re the boss of me. Even more so, I don’t want to have his kids!
For context, in college, I was actually proposed an arrange marriage by someone in my own community to marry a guy and his family promised me 100k to get started. I still declined, because I don’t like being married to a guy that will oppress me. In addition, I didn’t know the guy; never met him, and idk what he looks like.
For her to be one of these people that propose me this idea again (she’s like the fourth person to proposition some kind of arranged marriage).
I’m kind of angry with her rn. I stopped calling her regularly because I was afraid she’d bring this up again. She called me today and asked me why I’m too busy to talk to her. I haven’t been talking to her because I am busy with work, and I’m still mad at her.
Geez I really hate it when women from oppressed countries take that with them into other countries (ones they escaped into btw) and throw it on unsuspecting women, that's the kind of misogyny that I'll never accept from anyone, the kind where women are expected to suffer for the sake of making the life of useless males more convenient, especially when those men are abusive as hell.
That's not a friend, friends will wish you the best always and not trick you into fucking your life over, even if they don't agree with your life choices they will still respect it.
I had a friend who told me that I should go snag a guy because I'm getting older, that I'm weird for not following the "script" etc. I told her I like my life and want to focus more on myself and make money. Let's just agree to disagree, I thought.
She said the same thing the next time we talked, and then again the last time we talked. Well, three strikes and she's out of my life.
I decided my time is precious and I won't spend it on someone who deliberately disrespected my choices.
Typical crabs in a bucket mentality I see all the time in women who settled for LV losers and now try to pawn off that dude's even worse single male friends to their own female friends.
Because you being free and doing great and not being willing to settle like they did, just shows them how miserable their own life is. They'd prefer that you suffer together.
Your "friend" is jealous of you, and probably hates you.
I wish we could be friends. Also child-free, single with my own place, car, financial stability and a good stem career. Only men in my contacts are family and co-workers. I've been unknowingly living the 4B lifestyle for the last couple of years. If he doesn't make your life better than when you're single in terms of happiness and finances then it's not worth it. He will only degrade your quality of life. I don't feel lonely or anxious. I feel happy and free.
Also your friend is not your friend.
If I was in your shoes OP, I'd consider cutting off this "friend". A real friend supports your life choices, even if those choices are different to theirs. (Obviously this excludes dangerous life choices like taking drugs). Part of me wonders if this woman maybe feels threatened by you because you're independent and is trying to bring you down to her level. Still, that's no excuse for how she behaved.
I’m late but omg this reminds me of my mum’s massage therapist who tried to set me up with her nephew that lives in Iran 💀 and that I should move there and it’s “safe for women”. Why would I move away from my very comfortable life in Australia to be put where women are literally beheaded, denied education. Make it make sense
So the husband tries to stop her from trying to hook you up with guys he knows you don't want? That's so interesting to me. Sounds like if anyone should be trying to play match maker it's him because he actually respects your boundaries.