Just got broken up with on Valentine’s Day

it hurts but that’s a blessing in disguise. A high value man would pursue you with 100% certainty and wouldn’t leave you with crippling doubt of any sort. Also dumping you on Valentines Day of all days is a manipulative scrote move.

You deserve a HVM that pursues you and knows he wants you for sure. Valentines Day can be a day of self love celebration. Take yourself out on the dates you would’ve wanted! Go to the nicest restaurant you can afford, buy yourself a bouquet and whatever else you want that makes you feel like a queen. Love on yourself hard instead of that scrote

First of all, it’s not an accident he broke up with you on Valentine’s Day. He knew what he was doing, he saved it for this day in particular, so that he can punish you for being an obvious reminder how much he’s beneath you and for making him chase you to begin with. He’s a complete trash, one that likes “putting women in their place”.

He wanted to not only ruin this Valentine’s Day for you, but all the subsequent ones, which you’ll be associating with this pain and humiliation. Don’t give him this pleasure. I had an ex when I was really young, who marked every significant occasion in my life at that time with a breakup, like a tomcat with its’ piss. When I told him I passed all exams and had a graduation event for my first uni degree, he said : “ and I’m letting you know I’m leaving you”. When we were on the plane to finally meet my parents (after FOUR years of being together, he finally agreed, I know, I was a clown), he casually said that he’ll go and visit his ex and her parents in their country next. This never ended until I dumped his ass. Consider this a favour to you. And I’m really proud of you being able to block him - I wish I had this attitude and strength when I was in my twenties.

And in terms of “a lot going on” - that’s the shittiest reason to give. He probably meant “a lot of vaginas going on around me”. My current boyfriend married his late wife and had two children together knowing from the first date that she won’t get to middle age due to a serious generic disorder she had. She also had to spend hours every day doing all kinds of treatment just to stay alive till the next day, EVERY DAY until she passed away. He never saw it as ”a lot going on “, and always refers to it as “ the treatment that WE had to do” or “issues WE faced”.

Hey OP, I’ve been in a similar spot- my last LVM ex broke up with me just before Valentine’s (but I think we were already done months beforehand). It didn’t take long for me to realise it was an absolute BLESSING in disguise, freeing me from my pickme codependent attachment to him. My single friend immediately took me out for Galentines- she was a far better “date” than my ex could’ve been. She bought me flowers, showered me in compliments and made me feel like a Queen. We went to the city, splurged on shopping, tried a new dessert cafe and enjoyed the park. You could definitely achieve this by yourself too! When I got home, I watched feel-good movies, stand-up comedies and then went online sex toy shopping 😂 (my ex was scared of vibrators!). I healed faster than I ever expected.

As hard as It is don't curl up into a ball and lay in bed. Stay focused and stay busy, work out, do many things during the day. Because as soon as you do nothing all day the healing progress will be even slower. Be the best version of yourself but not for him, for you and a better partner.

I've read something recently that helped me to look at this kind of situation from a different perspective: when a guy gets interested in a woman pit of his league, he'll start pursuing her relentlessly and will move heaven and earth to make her fall for him. But when he finally gets her, when she gives him an actual chance and a possibility of developing something deep, meaningful and substantial, he realizes that he bit more than he cha chew, that he has nothing to offer or that what he has to offer is below her and she will be expecting much more from him. This is when he crawls back under his rock and breaks up with her. He got his ego boost, tried on that very expensive suit he can't really afford, now it's time to take it off and put his rags back on. Leave him to be. You deserve the real deal. Hugs

The same thing happened to me yesterday lol. We were long distance and not exclusive anyway. I asked him for exclusivity at one point and he explicitly would not give it to me.

Then he has the audacity to get upset when I start prioritizing, like, my own life? When he can’t even court me with exclusivity after months already? I stopped being so available because I started doing tech detoxes for my mental health, which I made clear to him multiple times was important to me as I’ve been depressed. But he still said “you’re pushing me away“ etc. Gets butthurt when I don’t text him back for two hours, and dumps me in a long drunk text on Valentine’s Day.

I’m not upset though. I started detaching the moment he wouldn’t offer exclusivity. I’m not letting him go back on his drunk break up text either. He‘s been seesawing all day like “you don’t care about me” and then “sorry I don’t want to hurt you please respond” (how many times do I have to tell you I’m just not glued to my phone anymore?)

Boy wanted his cake and to eat it too. Wasn’t expecting me to be on my Queen shit.

i read the handbook. twice. relistened to almost all of the FDS podcasts again. there are no words for the rage at being played. little punk. i won’t miss his “grower” 🙄 but i will miss a potential opputunity to make career gains and learn valuable skills to pull me out of the wealth gap. i hate it here sonetimes. on the bright side i made huge gains in my athletic training… 🤷🏽‍♀️