I feel bad for women like @twilightdove. I think she deserved more than feeling trapped to try SW

One of the biggest problems I have with sex work is that if a woman has the right "to do whatever she wants with her body (i.e. sell it), logically, that also means that men has the right to do whatever they want to a woman's body, so long as the price is right.

I completely understand that for many vulnerable women, S.W. might be the only option available for them in order to escape abuse or be financially stable (well, in the short term anyway. I think of it like this-- SW isn't quick and easy money, it's a quick loan with HIGH interest rates.). But two things:

1). The people screaming "sex work is work" are completely ignoring the legitimate dangers sex work imposes on women AND don't bother to work towards solutions that prevent vulnerable women from entering sex work in the first place/ allows them to leave (there's that famous statistic that something like close to 90% of sex workers WANT to leave the industry). The "YASS QWEEN" platitudes does little for a prostitute getting beaten by a violent John in a secluded location.

2). Shutting down all critical discussion about sex work, glamorizes sex work, which leads women and girls who otherwise wouldn't consider SW into the industry (mostly through OF and camming). And because no one's allowed to talk about the negative sides of this type of work or feel any sort of shame about what they're doing, they double down on their choice and talk about how empowered they are and how it's a great way to make money-- which 1) leads even more women and girls into this industry and 2) leads men into believing that SW is a choice for everyone in that industry, feeling no qualms about participating (do ALL men care if it's a choice or not? No. But I do believe that fewer men would participate if there was more of a stigma against the purchasers of SW). It sickens me to see all these videos on TikTok (and app widely used by CHILDREN) of strippers showing off the facilities/ giving tips to "baby strippers"-- this is CLEARLY recruitment.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

This is really the whole thing isn’t it. So many pro sex work people don’t know the other side of it, and as someone who worked in crimes against women for a decade, it’s not glamorous. The sexual assault rates are horrific. I find it EXCEPTIONALLY hard to believe that if we lived in a society where we actually provided for basic human needs, any woman would chose to make her body a commodity. This is one of my biggest issues with pro sex work feminism. It’s not feminist to argue that women should just sell themselves because they have no other options. It’s not feminist to ignore the reality of what sex work actually looks like for the MAJORITY of women doing it. It’s not feminist to attempt to make it safer so women can become a commodity for the pleasure of (primarily) men. Feminism would look like prioritizing ensuring that women have what they need to take care of themselves without becoming a product someone can buy. It’s such a bullshit argument to say sex work falls under “my body my choice.” I mean, sure, yeah.. but at the end of the day, who the hell would make that choices if they had plentiful options? Some would. Not most.

I'm someone who also engaged in sex work under duress and I think the last tweet is the center of so much of the discourse without people realizing it. For a long time the shame of having done it was so much more destructive to my life than anything else. I grew up as a part of the Christian purity culture movement and they have such an emphasis on virginity and look down on sexuality. I realize some of you here may even be a part of that culture, I'm not judging you personally if that's the case, but my experience with it was largely "not great." It took me a long time to see myself as a person of value again, and my hangups were only reinforced by our culture at large (In my experience there are many men who often subscribe and repeat the same beliefs regardless of their religious stance.) Even if you don't see sex work as a problem, I feel like everyone can agree that due to the culture we live in - being a sex worker hinders your chances of long term success in many ways. Especially in finding a mate who isn't hooked onto the products of this industry. Regardless of your spirituality or belief, sex work logically places you at a disadvantage. I think a lot of the conversation around "sex work is work" is them trying to erase the shame in an effort to erase that disadvantage. So much of the time when people talk about this they ARE shaming the workers, without any real understanding of the industry or how women get there. They weaponize the shame in order to put these women down without doing anything to make it easier to prevent or easier to get out of. I tried to seek resources so many times and was turned away. The system is intentionally difficult to navigate. I personally think people should focus more on plugging the cracks people fall into through, than on shaming the people who fall in. I think it's due to this that so much of the "sex work is work" has turned into covering of ones ears and singing lalala to whatever questions anything around sex work. I guess I see it as a misguided act of self preservation by vulnerable people. It's also one that will have unintended consequences. I've seen sex workers fighting good, sensible, law and policy changes claiming they're discriminating against sex workers when they're trying to fight the proliferation of illegal content or content where the subject has not consented. I guess for me, I just think that distinction of shaming the industry vs. shaming the sex workers is really important.

What I hear from women and girls that like their job as [privileged] sex workers is - they like getting paid well for their time, they like having autonomy over their work and schedule, they like feeling like they are good at something, and to an extent they like feeling male validation (proximity to institutional power). And for those that worked at brothels, they liked the supportive environment with other women.

What I also see is a level of naivety and/or hopelessness in being able to have a job with all those things listed above. And they also don't necessarily see the problem with treating their bodies like commodities, which is what patriarchy has done to us women and girls for a long time.

For this woman, maybe it seems like it has worked out for her. She was able to get out of poverty and support her and her sisters. Maybe she now has put herself in a better space to pursue a healthier career and life path moving forward. But that's a minority of cases.

Learned my lesson about commenting on SW. Never knew that I was lonely, a jealous wife (not even married), etc. It's a convo I have long accepted that it does no good for me to speak on.

I used to be for it and then I realized these men could not care less what you have to say in order to produce content, just take off your clothes.

If we had actual support systems for women instead of exploitative and impossible to access systems, and had universal base income that provided disabled and impoverished women with the means to take care of themselves and their families, there wouldn’t be women forced to choose between maintaining their body integrity and relinquishing their consent and body integrity for money they need to survive.