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"The natural order of things is that men give and women take. Because Pick Mes give too much and will accept anything, there is no clear structure in the relationship and the guy has no direction as to what he should do. With nothing to do, he receives insufficient mental stimulation and becomes bored as his daylight hours have no meaning. Over time, this creates resentment. If a woman digs gold, then what she wants is clear, and he can go find it, provide it, and receive positive feedback and a sense of accomplishment. Positive stimulation, if you will. Pick Mes provide negative or neutral stimulation only, as everything is muddled in neutral and cloudy emotions. It's passionless. I've tried to tell other women this, but they just call me crazy. Going 50/50 will cost you tenfold."
Love this so much because it explains beautifully what my inner belief is when it comes to the relationship between man and woman.
Fight for equality, equal pay, equal respect and all that should be reserved to education and workplace since we are both doing the same work, putting in the same type of effort. So it makes sense to expect them to work as teammates.
But when it comes to a relationship -- it is a whole different ballgame. I don't want to shoulder responsibilities that are his to begin with. My money is my money, his money is for the family -- I rather die alone that do 50/50 or 70/30 or whatever bullsh*t. I want to be taken care of, protected, provided for, rested and receiving. I don't want "equality" -- I want equity. I don't care about being seen as the "wife of the year" or the "amazing superwoman mother" -- I want to be the relaxed wife and mother who is content and comfortable with her life.
Let's stop romanticizing struggle and shouldering endless responsibility because as someone who grew up in abject poverty -- I've struggled enough, I've worked enough, I've suffered enough. I see ZERO reason why I have to continue suffering and working and stressing myself out for a man. I don't need a man, he is the one who needs me. So he can either give me the life I want, or he can get out of my way.
Ladies, try imagining what it is like to be the spoiled partner, and ask yourself do you really want to be the one who does everything around the house? Because I know I don't, absolutely no shame about it.
The natural order of things is that men give and women take.
Stay safe.
Amen. To quote Jon Taffer of Bar Rescue, "A man needs to EARN the right to come home" and that's the god honest truth. You want to sit home while I earn money? Get fucked. Men are like animals. They need to be VERY clear on their role, who's the boss and what's expected of them, otherwise they go feral.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I don't know what caused this generation of men and the previous one to resent being providers and protecters but im so over it 😒. They complain about emasculation but also say they have 0 issues being a house husband. They don't value housework so they'll feel emasculated and worthless and somehow end up cheating. My friend asked if I would let my hypothetical husband stay at home if I made ~250,000/yr. I said he better figure out how to make more than me 😂 we don't do house husbands over here.
I always see women comment (even here on FDS) about how a man is suppose to provide & fully pay for the date cause of the "pay gap and inequality" but even if we did have equal pay and equal opportunities and lived in a perfect world, the man is STILL the one who should provide and pay fully for dates, why? Simply because of the difference in physical strength, even in an equal perfect world we will never be truly biologically equal... Beside the advantage of physical strength that men have over us, they also don't go through the same risks that women do, men won't fear getting overpowered or raped by a woman, they won't have to worry about getting pregnant, or getting an abortion, men are not as prone & susceptible as women to STDs due to our female anatomy, they will never deal with the monthly pain of menstrual cramps, or fall victim to the emotional attachment caused by the hormonal release of oxytocin during sex...let alone the sexual double standards & slut shaming that women face unlike men...men are never equally vulnerable the same way women are.
The simple reason why men should pay for dates is common courtesy. The person who is doing the inviting pays. That's kind of how it works among polite people. See it this way: If you are inviting someone to dinner the restaurant is basically someone you hired to cook and prepare the food for your guest, so you don't have to. Why would the guest pay for your convenience? I don't charge people for 50% of the food and drinks I serve them when I invite them into my home. I am the host, they are the guests. Why would I charge my guests for the people who take over part of my duties as a host (cooking and serving) when I choose to invite them to a restaurant instead of my home?
I invite a prospective client or business partner to dinner? I pay. My uncle invites me to dinner? He pays. A man invites me to dinner? He pays.
Split bills are for friend groups who decide to eat somewhere together. Not a host-guest-dynamic.
Nicely put!
Another important post about pickmeism:
If you still live your life around the mindset "But what would my future HVM think about this?" - you are still stuck in that Pickme mode.
is it pickme to approach a man first?