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While we’re on the topic of exes coming back-
This man afforded me an amazing winter romance, cared and gave and paid for me like I’ve never seen before, until he ‘confessed’ to me he was a cuckold. He was the reason I signed up here to get a second opinion that would yank me out of it. From then on the ick started growing and I ended it with a short phone conversation, followed by a talk he asked for (big mistake) which developed into a bizarre last phone call where he cried and confessed his love until I hung up. We dated for roughly four months, three of them long distance. I tried to let him down easy on that break up call because I was sad, too, and didn’t block him because I felt scared for his situation (diagnosed borderline). Six months later on a Sunday evening I get this.
The only word I can think of is grotesque.
He lives two countries away. For the peace of our parting ways I came around to accepting the problems as distance and impracticability, not as me sensing things in him that I simply can’t reconcile with a serious relationship. I wonder if I was being too mild with him, but then I assume that he probably would not have understood me anyways. When after I had sent him his belongings in April I never received back my shirt as agreed upon, I have had this assumption in the back of my head, that maybe he never sent it to me for whatever kind of tactics.
It did hurt a little and at the beginning of this week I was so angry I shed a tear. I, too, have sweet memories of last winter and him coming around like this denies the warmth and the little good there had been. This man might have been chaotic and worse, but at some point there was hope and affection in me and I thought he was genuinely interested in and respectful of what I thought and am. But now I feel like he never knew me. Reading this message is a bit scary, the tone is that out of place.
This is not the first time I receive a weird warming up message by a man months after having had contact which confuse and, if there were stronger feelings involved, hurt me more than the shenanigans I put up with during dating him in the first place. And each time it is a message that reads itself as if an AI mingled up romantic words without being fed the information of context. Does he remember a single thing? It’s like men wake up in the morning and they ask themselves what am I feeling and who am I gonna importune with that? I feel unseen like we never met at all.
Thank you for letting me write this off my heart. I am cautious to talk to my friends about this to avoid conflicts on standards and being destabilized by man-positivity.
I wonder if and how I should try to get back my shirt because in fact it was dear to me and expensive and I have missed it a bit.
This is why we block.
And no, your shirt isn't worth it.
He's holding the shirt ransom BECAUSE he knows it means so much to you.
The shirt will forever be tainted due to associating it with him anyways. Forget him and the one article of clothing.
Cuckholds are mostly dangerous in that they let strange men near you, and a lot of the "pathetic cuckholds" I've met the partners of in real life bullied their female partners into letting him "be" a cuckhold. I think cuckholding is often a cover for prostitution, where the husband gets paid to pimp out his own wife, and acts like it's a fetish. That's more common than wanting to watch ANYONE make your wife cum, in a dude's eyes.
Borderline are trash and are just as bad as narcissists/psychopaths. It's abuse he even asked you to do anything like that in the first place. Every narcopath and psychopath I've ran into has immediately brought up threesomes, poly, or just anything involving other people other than you and him. He's a POS ans you shouldn't feel sorry for his diagnosis. I'm diagnosed with CPTSD because of abuse at the hands of borderline and NPD men, do you think they felt bad qt all for the abuse and longterm damage they inflicted on me, some of which I'll never be able to fully recover from? They did all this knowing I had severe childhood abuse and trauma and abandonment growing up, both my mom and dad left me when I was 2 and they preyed on that with sadistic satisfaction.
That text was so cringe omg.
'I hope...' 'I miss...' 'I wanted to...'
I, I, I, I, I!
does this guy even HAVE any other setting? He sounds permanently tuned to the 'Great I-Am' channel. Christ but what a tedious fucking monologue.
Also, if he really was as concerned about disturbing you as he claims, he wouldn't have sent that message in the first place. He'd have left you alone and in peace.
Sooooooo many words when he could've just said "hey, open to a f*@k?"
Go and buy another shirt. You could probably find the same one online someplace, on ebay or Etsy. I've done that before with lost articles of clothing I loved. As for the loser dude in this scenario, he's just horny and is hoping to fuck you again. Don't respond.
The sooner women realize that any relationship we have with a man is all in our heads, the better off we will be. They simply don't see us or experience us or have the same good intentions toward us as we do toward them.
Men are the true emotional sex
So many words, so little content.
As another commenter put it: this is why we block and delete.