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Lately, I’ve been thinking of using OLD apps again, but just for August. So, I got nothing planned for next month since all my friends are doing stuff with their SOs or they’re just not available.
I have been off the apps since 2021, and some of my girl friends are telling me to reconsider since they found their long term bfs on the app. The reason I left was due to a string of back to back horrible dates with the last guy getting drunk and letting out a gigantic burp in which I had the displeasure of catching a whiff of (left him at the bar piss drunk with the waiter) 🤮. He got himself drunk after realizing that I wouldn’t hook up with him on the first date at a bar!
Anyways, this time around, I have zero expectations. I plan use to delete the app regardless of whether I get anywhere with the men. I’m only interested in going on dates, having more dating experience, and having fun. It’s sort of like a roster without the sex, and hook ups. I imagine myself not getting anywhere with these guys past the first date with all the parameters I’ve set. This is totally an unserious thing.
In September, I’ll be starting a new job so I have all this time to kill. With work, everything is winding down, and I’m going through the process where I’m training other people how to handle my responsibilities before I leave. I’ll admit, I’m a little lonely. I haven’t been on a date since February. It such a perfect time to date with it being the perfect weather for road trips and day trips.
I imagined my summer to be filled with patio dining, and eating ice cream with friends, but I’m getting none of that this year lol It’s been bittersweet with juggling work, running errands for my elderly parents, and reconsidering friendships.
FDS, I need you to bring me back to reality. Is this a good idea? Will I be strong and delete the app by the end of August? Is this even realistic?
Also, is this normal? I go on periods where work gets too stressful and i disappear for a few months until it’s chill again. Usually during this time, my friends and family understand that work comes first and they usually let me be until the time passes. I tend to put myself in and out of the dating pool, so my presence is inconsistent. I feel like I should put in more effort and make time for dating, but I don’t want to neglect my career: there’s a certain goal I want to reach, and maybe afterwards, I could focus more of my time on dating?
FDS, please tell me I’m making the wrong decision, and that I am better off doing other things.
I’m not against OLD. I think it can be a tool for women who are busy and/or introverted. However, OLD with an FDS mindset is not fun or entertaining. It is ruthless, focused, and discerning.
When I was on Hinge, I went on an average of 1 (one!) date per month. The app was teeming with LVM. The few that didn’t reveal themselves to be LV through messaging quickly showed their true colors on a single disappointing, uncomfortable date.
However, within six months of this, I eventually met the man who is now my fiancé. (That was all after over a full year of celibacy and dedicated leveling up.)
During my six months of OLD, I didn’t kiss a man, definitely didn’t sleep with anyone, didn’t even flirt on dates because my mindset was to ruthlessly detect and dismiss LVM. Every man I dated thought I was an intimidating ice queen. (Which I am with men, and proud of it.)
If being on OLD for one month means going on a ton of dates, having “fun,” and wasting time, then you are simply not even trying to follow FDS. That’s okay, but then why are you asking us here?