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Hi, everyone I hope your weekend went well. I just wanted to emphasize there is a lot of rhetoric surrounding ex's and 'situationships', and especially 'FWB' making rounds.
I feel like many young women are being put-down for being out of relationships for too long, and also due to socio-economic reasons I see the re-emergence of 'fwb' being commonplace.
I find this is LV's NV men's way of keeping us in our place, or at the very least, reminding women we cannot have 'all our so-called unrealistic standards fulfilled', and then to add further insult they say 'why is she single for so long and she's young?'.
For reference, I'm 25 now and I've been single since 2020 due to personal reasons (mourning my cat, brother and also trying to finish school, which I'm embarrassingly behind in) and have been facing so many friends saying just get into a 'fwb' as if it's nothing? My ex left me in the middle of moving, discouraged school, and dismissed my dreams in general. Also, I got really fat with him.
Either way, perhaps due to social media and friend groups (3/4 of which was are coupled off) telling to msg him back after emailed and reached out.
I ended up giving my number and he called but was super flirty and while that was flattering, he didn't address anything more than surface level about our relationship.
Fast forward a week and we're talking closely, and he keeps hinting wanting to sleepover (I live on my own) I found this upsetting as he would always leave for work the moment he finished sleeping with me. Also there was A LOT I wanted to discuss before just jumping into bed with an ex. I found out he had two girlfriends since, I've chosen to stay away from relationships since 2020 due to personal reasons.
So after dodging the things I was saying I just decided to text all the issues and everything wrong. Afterwards he didn't own up to it, but said goodbye cordially.
I feel this is confirmation that an ex will always damage your life, and it doesn't matter if they're they seem to have changed and are doing better (career wise, he's an engineer) because they will always have ill-intentions towards you.
Because I know I can eat humble pie, I posted the full convo, and I regret being a fool for saying so much. Totally my fault, I need to not overshare so much.
They don't want an explanation, they don't care, they JUST want to sleep with you ASAP, and not give a shit about your well-being while doing it. (Like the whole 'they like our body parts but not us')
Now said pick-me friends don't even care how I'm doing, they only care that I'm going alone to the Halloween party. Tell you everything about couples who KEEP insisting you get into a relationship.
This is a sign don't listen to that Olivia Rodrigo song, and don't listen to your pick-me friends who are paired up. The breakup happened for a reason. Stop glamourizing ex's and fwbs and all that nonsense. It's b.s for male crumbs. I should know, I fell for it I'm just embarrassed I said so much when he clearly was a coward and didn't care Lesson Learned
Sorry for the second-hand cringe you might get from reading my long text. Never again.
Sorry for the headache that is this post, the screenshots are in reverse. (Andriod phone sry)
No class or shame, How do you forget valentine but not the date of the ps5 release? Men only remember the things that matters to them, Don't see it as a mistake. If he didn't want to forget he would have written it down in his agenda, Second there are so many reminders of valentines day that there is no excuse for it. I see many discount commercials for Valentine's day, even the grocery store is decorated in valentine's attire.
They don't always want you back JUST for sex. I provided a lot of labor for my ex-husband scrote *in addition to sex*.
I maintained the facade of a functioning family and concealed him being an unemployed, alcoholic, drug addicted porn freak of a 'man' for years.
He told me how much he loves me years after the separation and wanted me to move back in with him.
Men are opportunistic. Weaponized incompetence isn't from being incompetent; it's strategic.
He doesn't really love me. He loved living life on easy mode. His life now sucks. He can't afford to live without me (& that's the real reason he wants to be back together). He probably won't be able to pay the tax on his house and will lose it to the state next year.
Fck around and find out.
I applaud you for staying single. You should be proud of yourself - don't listen to your pickme friends on this one. It's very easy to find someone to be in a FWB situation with, but it's also very bad for you. It takes much more courage and resilience to be on your own, but it's better for your long-term emotional well-being.
It's easy to eat chocolate every day and it feels good in the moment, but it's not good for your health. What's harder, but much better for you, is making healthy food choices and sticking to them.
Don't take this the wrong way, but what did you write all those messages for? Men know what they did, they just don't give a shit.
I'm sorry you had to deal with this. Powerful but hard lessons in here, thank you for sharing.
Sounds like you understand this now but just to be clear, this is why we don't paragraph men. They don't care, and their lack of caring when you explain how they hurt you will hurt worse. The worst guys actually get off on how much they've upset you. Men only respond to your energy or your absence. This is why we don't explain, we block and delete.
See the handbook for more info on this.
Damn, reading your message to him triggered me a bit because I've totally been there before, and you're right they don't care. They see us as warm holes and have no empathy or remorse for the terrible way they treated us. Telling them exactly what they did wrong and how their actions made you feel is just stroking their egos. As if their actions weren't heartbreaking enough, it's even more heartbreaking to be reminded that even as time has passed, they still don't care, they never loved you or respected you, and they never will.
You're doing the right thing by being single and not letting these losers near you. Going to a party without a guy is awesome. Thar way you have the chance to possibly meet someone decent, and if not, you don't have to go home a guy who doesn't like you. Good job on getting rid of the ex. Just remember this: Men work very HARD to become your ex. Look at the list of things you texted! He worked overtime to ruin everything. So don't stand in the way of a man's hard earned title of "Ex." Don't stand in the way of his glory.
Wow, that dude is such garbage. Good for getting rid of him!!
Notice how he doesn't even attempt to acknowledge or take accountability for any of the stuff you listed in your message. Not even a "that was wrong of me and I apologize". This is exactly how it would be for the entire relationship if you were to give him a second chance. Just him acting like any emotion you have as a result of his actions is an inconvenience to him, not even worth taking note of.
Glad you realized you're worth so much more than this shit and blocked. This guy is a piece of garbage. I see a lot of people saying you shouldn't have sent him these messages, and while I agree none of it made a difference to him, at least now you have absolute confirmation that he's a piece of shit and always will be. So that's motivation to keep him blocked forever. 👍🏻
Be careful about having pickme friends.
I wouldnt have put all the effort in to write all that tbh. Its unnecessary, is extra drama going over it all(For you. Whether he replies properly or not) and thats just a waste of energy. Just get rid of him.
i'm very sorry about your cat, LeeLoo 😭💜
i'm not sorry that this scrote is out of your life.
Good job blocking him! But just remember that one of the key things the handbook mentions is that men don't read your long messages lecturing them. When they fuck up, just block and delete them. Don't bother telling them what they did wrong.
I usually just block and delete people I don’t want to associate myself with. In a way, I’m avoidant, but if it saves me the headache, I’ll do it.
I'm so happy that you realized that he's in the wrong and you should move on ❤️ We all make mistakes when we feel down. It's okay.
Also, what happened with Olivia Rodrigo? Ik Vampire was an empowering song, did she make a pickme one? 😱