Re reading old convos with a past lvm is painful, but needed to remember how shitty things were.

Time to level up and delete that those messages and move on. Don't let a scrotes nonsense hold any sentiment in your mind, because it's worthless.

I think of old conversations as real estate. He’s not paying rent so he doesn’t get to occupy any of your space.

I completely understand where you're coming from! At first, I found it useful to remind me of why I am following FDS principles but I quickly realized that it was inviting negative energy into my life and I didn't want to give the LVM any more of my energy. The other posters have a point in the sense that as long as you have those convos, they'll still be present in the back of your mind even if you're not consciously thinking about it. I found that for me, a better solution was to write a list of all the LV/NV traits that the man had and review that when the rose colored glasses came on. I also created a list of all the things I can do and accomplish now that I'm free from the LVM to bring some positive energy back into my life 😊

Weighing in on the other side to say I think it’s fine to hold onto the conversations as a reminder and to feel good about how much wiser you are now. The past is always with us, and relationships transform but they don’t truly die (that is my belief, I respect that others have different beliefs). I feel I grow into my past just as much as I change for the future, meaning I continue to learn lessons from looking back and not judging myself at all but applying what I know now. I treasure my past relationships because of how I became myself from them. And I believe in the love I felt even when the recipients twisted it against me and dragged me to hell. I stay with my grief and it gives me a fierce pride.

Read them, process them, let yourself learn and grieve. Then print them all out and permanently delete the digital copies. When you are ready, burn them all in a cleansing fire. I did this with an extremely toxic, traumatic relationship after dumping him and it helped tremendously. Symbolic gestures have enormous power when done properly. Don’t voluntarily swim in the gutter with the rats. He never cared about you and you shouldn’t give another moment of your precious time thinking about this loser. Hugs ❤️

I get it. But be careful not to get bogged down in cringing over writing paragraphs to a man who didn’t give a shit.

I used to always make a list of all the things the idiot said that hurt or disrespected me. That was the best medicine I could have taken. Every time I looked at the list I would get so damn angry and I did it until I blocked him. I deleted it now but I still remember what was written on it. Every once in a while I think back and am now shocked at what he used to say. Its a great reminder of how far I have come, so I totally get you. I also still have the chats and I like keeping them for now just in case I need to remind myself but I didnt need it yet hehe.

I get where you are coming for but also agree with the advice to let those convos go. At the very least I gotta archive them somewhere out of sight and outta mind. I really liked the advice to make the list of traits. I've started doing that in creating my own red flag and green flag list. A living document of things I'm looking for and things I'll never accept again.