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But i still can’t help to feel very sad…
I literally have no friends left anymore and I’m in my late 20’s and I always had trouble making new friends. I feel very lonely and triggered because I’m at the same spot as I was a few years ago. At one hand I know that they weren’t great people anyways and that I have the opportunity to make better friends but I feel I’m being delusional because I ALWAYS struggled with making friends and I honestly I’m too tired.
I see what god can do and doesn’t want me to give the one thing I want in life… HEALTHY friendships and relationships. Makes me feel jaded tbh. I really want to have this “abundance mindset” but how can I acquire this mindset when life has repeatedly only shown scarcity :/
The whole situation makes me feel so unworthy and unlovable..
EDIT: thank y’all for all your advice and comments! I appreciate it♥️
What helped me was to learn that my real best friend is MYSELF. Learning to be comfortable with my own company for long periods of time, being kind to myself and taking myself out on solo “dates” has helped me learn that it’s ok to not to have large groups of friends like I used to.
If you’re desperate to socialise, join a local book club, see what activities are happening at your local library or go to a pottery class! Maybe meet different kinds of women from all ages, learn to ask probing/interesting questions and discover their life stories if they’re willing to share. Don’t expect friendship from it, especially if they are LV or pickmes, but it gives you that dose of connection and learning that you might need.
Further, if you hold yourself like a HVW, you will eventually attract like-minded women. Be patient and in the meantime build yourself up, take yourself out on solo dates and enjoy life.
I don't have anything constructive to add here, but want to comment in solidarity as I'm currently experiencing something very similar in my late 30s. So fucking tired of crumb 'friendships'. I just want you to know that you're not alone.
In the same boat as you. The only advice I can give is the classic: focus on you right now. Once you feel you're ready then put yourself out there. Easier said than done but involve yourself in local activities that interest you. Don't let befriending others or finding romance be the one & only reason you do this. Do it because it's something you genuinely enjoy. Eventually those potential relations will naturally come. For example, if you're a regular at the library then others will recognize you and may even approach (or vice versa if you prefer). Take one day at a time and know feeling this way isn't going to last forever.
I’m so sorry, and I totally relate to you. It’s not your fault. A lot of people are shitty and it’s hard to find high value people. I’ll tell you what others have told me - it’s a great thing those friends left, because it leaves space for new, better people. I also agree with another commenter about focusing on yourself and taking the time to heal. It’s ok to not have many friends right now.
I can relate. The more the veils lift regarding misogyny and patriarchy the less i feel i can relate to most of my friends. Most women still have a very low level of tolerance for admitting to the patriarchy because they’re still rooted in pickmeism lifestyle. I was an outlier in my friend group as well regarding the vaccines and have been consistently left out of usual gatherings that i was normally included on. It’s hard to realize you’re changing and moving forward and that comes with some fallout, losing friends etc.
I just went through the same thing myself and have always struggled making friends as well but honestly, i feel so much lighter and freerer without them and their disrespect.
you just made room for genuine quality friends to come into your life. it’ll take time to rebuild your circle but from here on out you can ensure it will be a circle comprised of only worthy vetted friends
All you can do is know that our culture really doesn’t have good values And be someone who has dignity so when you encounter another person, you’ll be that right fit for them, and give them some hope. I don’t know why it’s so hard to find relationships and friendships, I think it’s a culture that is shaped by social media and porn - has really destroyed intimacy, loyalty and integrity. I think that’s what happened but dont have an amazing solution, other than to say there are always going to be some people who think for themselves and are deep. Those people are scarce.
Girl I’m so sorry to hear. You’re better off without pickme friends in your life. They were never your true friends to begin with. I understand your pain and loneliness, though. I was going through my own pick-me phase a couple years ago and my equally pickme friends dumped me out of the blue. Took me off the group chat, stopped inviting me to group events, acted cold with me if we ever did run across each other. One started talking to me again a few months ago (we work at the same company), but I keep my distance. I never learned the real reason they ditched me, and now we are acquaintances instead of close friends. She is still a pick-me ‘cool girl’. It hurt a lot. But the best thing you can do is be your best self. Do what makes you happy. That positive energy will rub off and hopefully attract the right people to you. Chin up, Queen!
Just want to say I'm in the same boat, and you're not alone.
I feel this in my soul. Even back in elementary where ist hilariously easy to get bffs I still struggled. I just feel like I cant connect to anyone like other people can. Like I'm always on the outside watching in.
I have the same issue. Just keep doing YOU, doing the things you love. Someday a worthwhile friend will come along. It hasn't happened for me yet, but I just try to not care.
So sorry to hear this, Queen. I've experienced similar since levelling up through FDS and realising how pick me one of my closest friends is/was!
Do you have any fave hobbies?
The FDS podcast also has an episode on Building Your Girl Gang which I found really good 💖
Sending you so much love you will rebuild and they will be better and stronger friendships for having that integrity the bottom
>>>I see what god can do and doesn’t want me to give the one thing I want in life… HEALTHY friendships and relationships. Makes me feel jaded tbh. I really want to have this “abundance mindset” but how can I acquire this mindset when life has repeatedly only shown scarcity :/ _________ Your big problems can be solved with: ATHEISM!!!! >>How to cultivate “Abundance mind set” when life has shown you perceived scarcity? This is how insignificant we are in the greater scheme of things.