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Hey ladies! Sorry for troubling you all with this rant but I'm afraid I'm feeling a bit rubbish. I was seeing someone for about a month and a half, I know it's not long but he's the first guy I've liked in over 2 years (I've been on a few dates but I never ended up finding the guys attractive enough for a second date).
I thought that we both really liked each other and I'm afraid I got caught up in the excitement of finally having found someone after being lonely for so long. I stupidly ignored some red flags and surprise surprise he dumps me by text the night before my first ever solo holiday.
So now I'm in a foreign country by myself feeling really upset and lonely. I booked this trip before I met him, thinking it would make me feel empowered and independent but now it just feels like a showcase of how alone I am. I hate that I've allowed him to ruin my trip, I'm flying back tomorrow night and I've spent a significant portion of my holiday crying in my hotel room.
I also feel really used because his text said that he was sure I must have noticed that he'd been distant for a while(I thought he was just busy with work) so he'd clearly been intending to do this for some time and yet he was fine getting me to drive for an hour to see him for an evening a few days before this. And we had sex (he knew I'd only slept with one other person and that sex was a big deal to me).
Sorry for the rant. This is what happens when you ignore the red flags.
Nah, this pos was purposefully deceitful.
He held out as long as was needed to obtain sex from you.
He was always planning on pumping and dumping. Has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with his lack of character.
You have nothing to feel bad about. He was deceitful, icky and low value. But the good news is he is a lesson in what to avoid in future, so take heed. Nothing to do with your sexual performance. Other posters have pointed out that he has been a snake in obtaining what he wanted from you. Plus he sent you a text? How big of him. Ffs, in the bin he goes.
Be proud of yourself for booking and showing up to your solo trip. You’ll be glad you did when the fog has cleared and time heals the sting of this scrote. Imagine you had cancelled the trip to spend time with him! That would have been an error.
Spend your last night writing down all his terrible attributes, have a glass of wine (or whatever you fancy) and toast yourself never having to deal with his nonsense again.
First of all, I'm sorry that happened to you. The one thing I would say is that you didn't do anything wrong. In fact you acted in good faith. He, on the other hand, acted in bad faith. As you say, he had been leading you on for some time before breaking up with you and during that time, he got you to drive for an hour to have sex with him. Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe just reflect on the red flags he showed so that you'll recognise the red flags if you see them again.
There's an old saying, "A hard prick has no conscience," and it's the God's honest truth with males. There's NO low they won't stoop to or lie they won't tell to get their dick wet. They're just not fully human.
You did nothing wrong and you're not necessarily a pickme for falling for a guy who you liked. The man turned out to be a scrote and I'm sorry you have to go through this. The more time passes, the better you will feel and the more it will all make sense what a loser he was.
He dumped you on your solo trip because he wanted you to be too sad to actually meet men on your trip
I'm sorry this happened to you! You deserve better. He's garbage and a user. 💔 Put him in the dustbin where he belongs.
I wish I'd seen this before your trip ended, I would love to encourage you to enjoy your last day, embracing the unique quality of the wind and sun where you were.
But for future trips, here is some advice: I travel solo a lot! I love the peacefulness of doing whatever I want, not having to check with anybody else, sleeping in, exploring, and really enjoying myself on trips. I also love not having to check with anyone else's budget, dressing nicely and shopping or napping as I please. I seek out other women to connect with (wait staff, shop owners, fellow travelers), and it makes me happy to meet my sisterhood, all over the world. I feel like a HV Princess when I travel solo, I eat and drink slowly, and take in the beauty of my surroundings. I hope you come to enjoy it as I have 💕
I also always watch couples while traveling, and I realize I am NEVER missing out: she is always beautiful & tastefully dressed, he is usually a slob, fugly, and is ignoring her. She often looks frustrated or bored with him, or they're both on their phones ignoring each other. Unless he is clearly wooing her (so rare) she is focused on him/his needs and not having a good time because she is stressed, and not receiving the attention and care she deserves. It's a bummer to watch.
The only thing that comes close to solo travel for me, is travel with people I dearly love like my kids, family or close friends.
I hope you recover quickly. Ask yourself what you were looking for him to fill inside of you, and offer that love to yourself. You're worth it!
And keep traveling, you deserve it. ❤️