Hello! Firstly, excuse my English please, I'm not a native speaker :) So a few weeks back I was at a club for a friend's Bday and talked with a guy while waiting for my friend. We kinda had a nice conversation about his job in the cinema industry etc. and I saw that he was acting interested but I kept my distance and said "bye!" when my friend was back. 3 weeks later, THAT guy shows up at my door and says my name and reminds me of that evening at the club, all smiles and "nice" vibes: "Sooo nice to see you again, we should get together, our convo was so nice!" He asked for my number and I SUPIDLY gave it to him because I felt already cornered as he now knows where I live. 2 weeks after (too long already I know), he proposed a shitty coffe and/or scooter tour date (nope!) last minute and I responded the following day, kindly (because I'm afraid) "Hello! Thanks for the invitation but I am not available this week-end, gladly some other time ☀️" He responded "With great pleasure 😊maybe in the following weeks if the weather is nice...have a nice sunday [my name spelled wrong again]" WHAT NOW? 😥 I know from this shitty/dangerous (#Scooter) date proposition that this is not the kind of guy I want to date but I felt 1. compelled to give my number not to antagonize him when put on the spot and 2. compelled to answer nicely and not block and delete because he knows my address. What kind of message can I write to let him down "nicely" (🤢) because I feel like my safety is at risk...? Thank you so much if one of you girls can help me 💕
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If I was on demon time, I’d say “sorry coffee gives me the sh*ts” just for kicks and giggles. That’ll really turn him off without hurting his fragile male ego 🤣
My go-to thing to get guys to back off is simply be very awkward. I'm being nice, I'm smiling, but I answer things in a way that don't give them much of any opening to continue talking to me. I don't seem "mean", so they don't get angry at me, but they are left scratching their heads.
Take, for instance, the way you responded to him asking you on a date. When you said "gladly some other time", that's a big opening inviting him to try again.
How I would respond is "Sorry! Coffee makes me jittery and I'm too uncoordinated for scooters 😁" Notice I don't suggest doing anything else. I don't imply I could do it at another time. Most guys already back off at this point.
But if he asks to do something else, keep giving him reasons you can't do the activity he suggested, until he gives up. Bonus points if the reason you give makes you less appealing to him. I once made a guy lose interest by not wanting to see any film he wanted to see. Most guys want a woman who enjoy the same type of cinema as them. 😁
If he asks what you want to do, play dumb and say you haven't given it much thought, or an answer along those lines. The point is to keep answering cheerfully, but in ways that stops the conversation from continuing to flow. That's the art of being awkward while avoiding antagonizing anyone. 😆
"No thank you."
"No. Stop coming to my house."
"I'll call the cops."
He’s a creep & stalker. He showed up AT YOUR HOUSE!
Block his number. Just ghost him. Never answer your door if he comes again. Just don’t answer your door when it’s any strange man!
If you must, text him, “No thank you.” Then block and delete. Give no reason. NO is a complete sentence.
Read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. It’s about dangerous men like this, who take advantage of women’s socialized kindness and politeness.
You are in danger with this man. Stay away.
A scooter date💀? That kills me.