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I met a guy on a dating app (I know, I know) and had a good "feeling" about him. We chatted for days and then on a Thursday he asked me if I was free for Saturday for coffee (🚩). I said I was free Saturday afternoon for drinks/apps. He responded "that should work for me." (🚩).
I did not hear from him until Friday night (🚩) when be asked what time I was free Saturday. He then suggested a nice coffee shop (🚩). I responded with coffee? (🚩) and he said my profile indicated I am not a big drinker and he was trying to be respectful. I pointed out that I responded with drinks/snacks and he said he did not want to assume drinks mean alcohol. He is 40 (and btw his profile said 39). What grown man thinks drinks/snacks means going for coffee? I then said we should just face time and he countered with a nice french restaurant walking distance near me. So I agreed.
Date went well, honestly best mental connection I have had on a first date . But he mentions he splits his time between my state and a state thousands of miles away (🚩). He was vague about his business (🚩). Then the kicker is he is moving to an entirely different city 4 hours from me to go to culinary school for 6 months. It's his passion, he does not want to be a chef. I ask why he made no mention that he splits his time and is now straight up moving in 1-2 months. He said he would do long distance, face time me daily and take the train to see me on wekeends or I can visit him. When I said I had wanted to live in that city in the past, he said I was welcome any time (🚩). I asked if he will keep his business while in culinary school and he said yes bc he can do it remote (earlier in the date he said his business requires him visiting clients on site in my area). He also said it's just 6 months but then he let it slip he has no intention on moving back to my city- then backtracked he would move anywhere for a partner.
Despite all these flags, I liked him bc the good convo amd chemistry. I clearly have not worked on my issues of going for unavailable men.
He texted me after and soon asked for a second date. When i told him my availability- nothing. I have not heard from him in 3 days.
While I felt disappointed, I am happy this happened bc had we gone out again, I would be caught up in his BS wasting my time. I am reevaluating how I approach dating and what I am attracted to. My ex was also nomadic and I thought I was past unstable men, but clearly am not.
AND if I followed FDS, I would not have met with him at the first mention of coffee. These rules are designed to weed out men and when I ignore them, I quickly learn why they exist.
I have a date this coming week with another man. And he has locked down date/time, asked what location is convenient for me, and said he is going to research some restaurant options that are available for that night. It's refreshing to have someone come correct when all I have to say is "okay" and not leave me wondering it I even have plans.
Vague about his business bc **there is no business**
...it's why you caught him in a lie abt being able to do his work remotely from the other city while previously stating he must visit clients on site in your area.
Every loser or low level drug dealer likes to pretend he is an entrepreneur. It's always bs
40 and he suggests coffee? Hell no
Once they say coffee it's time to unmatch
Long distance relationships are where the girl thinks she's in a relationship, and the man has a girl in his other town as well. Males don't do LDRs. And this guy doesn't have the money to date you even if he lived in your town much less in another state. Next. Asking you to coffee on Saturday afternoon? For what? So you won't be sleepy for your dinner date with a real man? Lol.
The thing is I wonder if men are even worth it. Bunch of bloated babies who just want to colonize your life, and if they can't do it, the frankenstein transvestites will. At times I feel like being career focused and just find a wife who is at the same caliber as mine, I'm not even gay but I'm still willing to try and be gay so that I can be at peace because right now I'm on the brink of quitting and just never stop talking to a man again. One bitter married woman was talking to a girl and was jealous that she gets lots of things and travels, she tried to man trap her and say that she needs to find herself a man and have kids, the girl said she has a girlfriend and she's happy, they even plan on marrying after their first year of dating.
While the married woman only gets an orgasm when she does it herself, her husband is a dirty pig her sons are a nuisance but still refuse to be a better person and let other women know that men aren't like the men you see in movies. Even women want you to be miserable like them because they made a mistake of allowing men to get them used up.
ppl talk about hitting the wall after 30 but I rather hit the wall in a couple of years with my accomplishments and a nice house and car than hit rock bottom because I got used up by men. Men can lie to you but even they would cheat on their wives with a hot cat lady who got the bag and alot of success financially.
Part of me thinks he made up the story about the second city to cover for the fact he’s in a relationship here and knows he’ll only have limited time to see you. Probably just a local loser looking to cheat. Like if his career doesn’t match then it’s probably BS. He’s trying to create a reason for his future behavior and impress you at the same time.
Who TF just enrolls in culinary school because it’s their passion, when he has a successful career going on? Take cooking classes, maybe. Enroll in an actual culinary program just for fun while maintaining a career? The type you have to relocate for? Maybe a millionaire or a retiree. Seems sus ngl
Sounds like he fabricated everything he tried to sell you. You even caught him contradicting himself on things like come on.
But hey--don't ignore them flags next time! You know better. Unfortunately lots of scrotes in the sea so if we don't want our time wasted the Strategy is the way. Lots of signs here and you saw them but excused them--you deserve better than this shit. But at least you acknowledge the flags looking back and it sounds like you were paying attention all along so that's good. Got the knowledge just have to apply it consistently.
It can be hard not to accept things we know are low value even when we can see it. It's actually sad AF how conditioned we all to settle and accept bottom of the barrel trash but we're all here so that's a start at least