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I mean, you would think that I would break up with my first ex when he traveled cross country for a week to visit his woman friend, they shared the same hotel room! BUT NO. I was waiting for him at his house when he arrived back from the airport. Or, when he physically trapped me in a room multiple times so I wouldn't leave his house. So much other shit happened. Red flag galore. I was 18-21 years old.
You would think that I would cut off all communication with my next boyfriend after I found out his ex was still texting him and we had a two hour FaceTime of me crying begging him to block her. He didn't see the issue. Or when he lied to me and blocked me on Instagram and said he deleted his account. Or when we originally met, he had his ex sleeping in his bed with him!!! A lot more shit happened with this guy too. Red flags were like a field of red roses. I was 23-25 years old.
Why am I so dumb though? Why am I such a clown? Why am I such a pick me? I know I have childhood trauma along with an absent father. But.....I am book smart. Why aren't I common sense smart? I wouldn't call another woman dumb for being manipulated by scrotes, but I feel I am dumb.
Does anyone else get flashbacks of times where they should have left, but didn't?
Makes me angry that we have to go through so many extra hoops to analyze and understand their lack of empathy, when caring about someone is something that comes naturally to us.
If men had a heart like we do, there would not be women who need to even ask these kinds of questions. I've had so many sleepless nights because of men.
You're not dumb or a pick me. Men are, for the most part, predatory; and they prey on women who they can prey on. It's so important to be as hard as you can on them because of this. They have all the choices in the world of women to use; if a man is not going around and using women at his disposal then that is a good sign, and rare.
That alone is not easy to find; add to that- most men are not going to be what is desirable in looks. As well as having a job and car even. And then finding someone whose personality compliments yours is a very difficult person to find.
This doesn't mean to lower your standards. I am just saying, you were picking out of what is out there and they are not worth it for us to even pick. Leave them for women who have lower standards and find a way to like life without a man becuase they are almost guaranteed to make your life worse. This is what vetting is for! Pick the wrong man and he will drive you crazy, ruin your self esteem and your mental health, break your things and take all your hard earned money. All for his own ego to feel a little tiny bit better, but that's something any woman can do for him.
It doesn't have to be you. Feel bad for the ones who do that for those guys, because it is gross. Don't be one of the suckers who does that for a man, just so he can feel a little bit better that he has another one to add to his harem of women he laughs about being able to use anytime he wants.
Pick no man till then, and you get to keep everything you have worked so hard for. Maybe one day you pick a man and he improves your life, but most of them will only take and not give value to your life.