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I have outbursts of pick me ism, mainly cause I am from a very traditional culture that is very misogynistic. Also I am autistic and I never had much going on with men, I was always invisible to them and in my culture marriage for women is a huge thing, women often baby trap men to ensure marriage and they beg dusty crusty men to put a ring on them. Being a woman on your own is difficult, society thinks you need a man to navigate life. I really like FDS cause it brings justice to women and it frees them. It is so relieving knowing that a bunch of other persons actively try to expose modern day dating and the atrocities of men. It doesn't talk about fake empowerment. It is very realistic and ultimately benefits women to the fullest.
Like I said I get pick me episodes and a pick me mentality quite often. I feel desperate to get a man, i get happy at the slightest attention a guy gives me, I look for ways to get less invisible to men. I even have considered surgery, I buy clothes sometimes based on if men will like it. Those feelings suck, women around me base their entire lives starting from puberty on if men like them and if they will get married. At least I have a window where I throw these thoughts away sometimes and know that they aren't good for me. For some other women it is their constant reality.
That's a lot of outside pressure for you to deal with. Try to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Get a career, if you're allowed, so that you can feed yourself and never have to put up with abuse from males. See if you can find women who think like you, and try to make communities with them. I'm sure there are many women there who've been harmed by men and would like a friend. I've never been liked by men either, and it's not my looks. It's my brain and height that starts the intimidation. Men like women they can beat down and control, and if you don't look like a good victim, they'll be less likely to pay you attention. Male attention isn't positive, anyway. It's just a way they size you up to see what they can get from you.
I don't know what culture you're from, but this might help. All cultures, religions, and traditions are artificial mechanisms meant to benefit men and are placed on top of genes and biologies that exist, which ultimately benefit women. No matter what race you are, your DNA is screaming at you that breeding with these men is a bad idea and that you are primarily wired to bond with other women. That's part of you that your creepy religious elders cannot kill no matter how many robes and head ornaments they put on. Your mother cannot convince your soul that the path she took to be a slave to a man who doesn't respect the natural state of the feminine OR the beheaded modern feminine of worldly cultures is good for you. You carry yourself and your instincts forever, and you should try to live YOUR best life. That may include bending to cultural norms, but hopefully you can escape if it doesn't.
Start listening to Princella Clark and Melanie Hamlett. They'll set you straight.