I get crushes too easily

For me, I crush over anyone who shows remote interest in me. It’s sucks because when I come to my senses, I cringe instantly. Lol

Women go their whole lives trying to get love from men, and because men are not biologically capable of love in the same way women are, they never succeed at it. Women measure their value against their ability to get a man to love them, and they think that there is something lacking in them that makes them unlovable. This damages their self esteem. But the male brain is constructed very differently from the female brain. Women love deeply and unselfishly by design, because we birth and care for children. Men do not, so they are selfish and consumers by nature. There's so many women walking around questioning themselves, 'Why am I so unlovable? Why can't I find a man who will love me? What's wrong with me?' It never occurs to them to project it outward, there's nothing lacking with you, It's something lacking with him. Men aren't mentally or biolgically capable of love the way women are.

Here are three videos that helped me, they are long, but informative. You can skip the 10 minute intros.

https://www.youtube.com/live/0iKU-Xk66Js?si=203UjjaS3KO6wiY1

https://www.youtube.com/live/0nohGVgj4OY?si=zZDO1oMszW-rVPSF

https://www.youtube.com/live/5R_1qk_ppeg?si=j9iNPD8CJjhsx4Uj

I very much empathize, and I'm sorry for the hurtful things you've gone through. self awareness can help with this for sure. I have similar tendencies and I know that they partially result from adverse childhood experiences leading to abandonment issues and longing for love. I also just have a naturally romantic sensibility and do long for a partner by my side to be living out my dreams and sharing experiences with. it can be painful to contrast that longing with the realities that we experience but it can also be something that you channel and can help drive you to only accept the best for yourself. it's always a bit messy and imperfect but the best advice I can give is just that, channel it into your own growth and give yourself the best. learn skills, learn meditation, travel and have beautiful solo travel experiences, make art, use mantras and take it as a practice in redirecting your mental energy. know you can do it. neuroplasticity.

I know it sucks because the few men I've ever truly loved were horrible to me and it still causes me pain, but you learn to compartmentalize it better and I use the anger and sadness I feel as motivation for my own growth. FDS has helped me a lot, the feeling of community here, knowing we're not alone and we didn't deserve the treatment we received, it's a reflection of them, not us. the reminders that we deserve only the best treatment and nobody is worth compromising that, for any reason. the more you internalize it the easier it gets. you learn to get the ick the minute a man acts poorly. these feelings may always be there because they are normal and having a capacity and longing for love is a beautiful thing, I remind myself of that too and work to hold onto it and all the more reason to never let someone take advantage of it. how old are you? it's like a muscle and definitely gets easier with time and practice. <3

I mean the thing that stands out to me is that you were eventually pumped and dumped for your virginity, which reads like big trauma. I am also prone to get crushes and fixate on guys, especially after sex or when I was manipulated and dumped. It's something you need to work through because more you ignore minor traumas - more you're gonna be taken advantage of. I've been taken on wild emotional roller coaster rides by other men after one guy did that to me and my trauma got worse. You need to take a step back to heal and develop the ability to recognize bad patterns that bring out obsesiveness.

I was raped by two guys I'd been close to since middle school the summer after graduating from hs. As a result, I spun out of control my Freshman and Sophomore year of college until I finally met a man who treated me like a human being and I realized good men DO exist and I want to be with one. That was also around the time I found FDS and started my level up journey. Meeting him is what made me realize I needed to love myself and what reminded me I am worthy of love.

We all have different paths and stuff but there's usually a catalyst that changes everything. Yours could be anything, even your own desire to change and be the best version of yourself. It's a good idea to train yourself to feel nonchalantly about men who haven't proven themselves to be worth your affection. It will take time but is doable.

Try to imagine what your crushes would look like in 10+ years if you married them.

I swear all the "hottest guys" that were in my high school ended up being greasy overweight slobs with receding hairlines by their mid-early twenties. Meanwhile I still get carded because I basically look the same as I did in high school (except more fit I'm an athlete now)

I remember having a major crush on this one guy. He was the most attractive guy in my school. He brutally rejected me and embarrassed me in front of everyone. He frequently insulted me and constantly reminded me that I was not good enough for him. I had so much mental stress because of that.

Later in life (his early twenties) he became an ugly greasy slob with a receding hairline. He constantly spammed my social media with messages asking me if I "remembered him" and said "We should catch up heres my number"

I'm so glad I never got into a relationship with him back in middle school. That guy was a total scrote.

I had several of my other ex male classmates do the same thing as well.

I only made it stop once I deleted most of my social media or made my pages unsearchable.

Try not to put them on a pedestal. I guarantee once you graduate those "hot" guys will be trying to reach out to you at some point too.

Dude i havent hadda crush just by simply looking atta guy in like 10 years 😓. Idk what it is but maybe ur age could help me? Im 29 so that may explain it. Most guys r so effeminate n lame these days. Since a plethora of em have seemingly (if not certainly) waited for me to sweep them off THEIR fuckin feet.....u just calmly surrender/ignore until an ACTUAL man takes initiative and treats u like the princess u r🖤 I advise waiting for the calm of ur crash after the storm. Sorry kiddo