How can one deal with intense sexual desire?

I never ever date colleagues. That's my security and livelihood I'd be messing with. If things go wrong I might end up unemployed or worse.

Also, married men who flirt with me are so gross to me, I could never trust them. I have two fuckable colleagues, both are married, both are just workfriends I chat with. NEVER would I homewreck, and NEVER at work.

I just read literotica and masturbate. That's enough for me.

You have (presumably) two hands and ten fingers. Use them.

Dating someone at work is a bad idea.

Look up forums about women's experiences with this before proceeding.

Hey you are not alone! We all get those feels.

And you know what makes them more intense? The scandalous nature of it all!

Do you think this would be as tempting if it WASN'T loaded with reasons not to engage? Pretend you don't work with them and they're just your friends.

Pretend that one guy isn't married with kids. Pretend the younger guy is only 2 years younger than you.

Pretend like you've had married and much younger coworkers orbit around you countless times. The forbidden fruit aspect and novelty of them has only heightened the cues they keep dropping, hoping you'll take the bait.

If they weren't hovering around you and sending purposely vague signals, none of those "off-limits" criteria you revealed would be able to fuel this. It's merely gasoline.

It's useless 'til a lit match of mutual interest is thrown onto it...Also, younger partners, extramarital affairs and office romances are things that boost men's egos and ruin women's reputations.

And that's probably the only reason why these two are hanging around so much. So you can be a dumb, easy bitch their friends (assuming they have any) can high-5 them about when they grossly exaggerate and over embellish all the mediocre and disappointing sex that you guys had.

My advice? Ask them to pay your bills. Or have a threesome with you.

And DON'T waiver on those conditions. It's either both of them or neither of them.

You got this, sis. Good luck! ❤️ 💪 💄

If you’re open to it, there are some yogic techniques you can use to help with the sexual energy. Once you’re working with it like that, you can use that sacred energy in a different way or just to help feel more grounded/balanced. It’s a potent, powerful, sacred creation/creative energy that you can always use to your benefit in different ways ☺️

But I get it, I get the same feels too 😅 it’s a real challenge at times for sure lol

I would probably stop talking to the married guy. Even if it is hard, this man obviously does not align with your values because he’s married and flirting with you. And mind you, he is flirting ! Your gut is right. I’d say cut him off in your mind, make a conscious choice to block and delete. Start grey rocking. If you notice it’s hard or you’re reluctant you’re likely suffering from limerence or he has already successfully groomed you. He sounds as if he could be toxic.

I wouldn’t necessarily rule out meeting someone at work. OLD is full of narcissists and if you work full time it is a place where you can legitimately vet someone, mainly because you can see their interactions with others, you can observe them. How long do you know him? Is he respectful and kind, realisable, punctual, stable?. Have you observed him enough? Is he only flirtatious with you? Honestly I don’t think ten years are such a big age gap and age does not mean maturity in any way shape or form. So ten years (depending on the age of course , 20 and 10 isn’t acceptable lol) is ok.

When dealing with him, I would ask my gut “do I want to go out with him?” And you will get a reply. If you want to and your gut tells you he isn’t toxic, I would prepare yourself for him to ask you out.

If the party fills you with more anxiety than joy, skip it. It sounds like a good idea to skip to be honest. 😅

Regular exercise and masturbation might help too. It’s not the real deal of course but since you’re really vulnerable in that regard it might take the edge off. Starting a messy affair with either of them is a bad idea, especially the married guy.

I hope this helps. I am still new to FDS so forgive me if I make some fundamental errors, still learning myself.

If you want to have a fling, look outside your social circle, because men like to go full preying mantis after giving bad sex nowadays (even hot guys).

Use a condom, don't disclose your real name to anyone.

If you're going to fantasize, try reading fanfiction to avoid creating one-sided emotional ties with real people.

Also, showerhead on a slow drip/drizzle kept my virginity in tact for a decade, if you know what I'm saying.

Have you looked into what they have to offer for male sex robots?! I’m not even trying to be funny like , I’m wondering if the quality has actually gotten GOOD for women ? I bet theyre just so - so , but when they continue to develop I bet they’ll be really helpful for This. I’d love to see it .

Why did you give up on men ?

Your desires are natural, you are a heterosexual woman. You want to feel attractive toward the opposite sex. Instead of swearing off of men, it would be healthier to redirect that energy toward men who are worth your time... and see the married man for what he is, someone who has no value because he is a potential cheater anyway.

Maybe therapy could help.

I also did a break for some time when I'd feel crazy attracted to the wrong men. At that time I took it as a hint. It's obvious that I want something. So I simply started dating again and vetting men. At least I receive attention from guys who want to date me the right way (otherwise they don't make the cut) and some fuzzy romantic feelings even if that doesn't last and they show their red flags so they end up in my block list. One day maybe I'll find my actual match and my disciplined vetting process would have been worth it.

It is healthier to deal with your desires that way instead of repressing them.