Did anyone had a hard time getting over their LVM?

Gets way better over time.

Honeymoon periods are disillusioned. We also tend to recreate the past as a more positive experience as a defense mechanism.

When you think about him, one thing that will help is to make a list of all the times he made you feel bad emotions - because if he was a lvm, he probably made you feel pretty bad.

You're more than likely describing breaking a trauma bond instead of going through a regular breakup. Typical breakups are hard, but they are nothing like trying to break and escape a trauma bond IME.

One way I have learned to gauge if it's a trauma bond vs regular breakup is by asking myself... Did he treat me badly and I generally didn't like him, but for some reason I'm still missing him??? If the answer is yes, I'd say you're more than likely working your way out of a trauma bond. Trauma bonds create addiction pathways to that person.... you become literally, physically addicted to them. This is why it is so hard to get over them. You're breaking an addiction.

I’ve had a hard time getting over people. I have attachment issues and it makes it difficult. I try by best to do other things or remind myself of what they have done

Yeah. He was the first person I ever dated. We were in the same college program, so I had to see him in classes everyday. The hard part was when I knew I made a mistake and wanted to break up with him in the third week of school; I dragged it on for 4 months. It was really hard, but then we went into lockdown due to Covid, so it was bearable but I saw him sometimes. I occasionally think about him, and I had a dream about him getting married and having kids, so now whenever if I ever catch myself thinking about him, I always tell myself that he’s married with kids and stop dwelling.

I went on to make the same mistake with another guy at one of my hobbies. It never got romantic just all these hangouts and chats outside of the club, but nothing intimate. It went nowhere so since I started it, I will end it. The only thing that helped was telling myself that it gets better each time I see him. I haven’t seen him in a month due to an injury so when I return, I will be stronger.

I’m glad you’re experiencing things like this now. It’s gonna get better with time. Despite the time that time has passed, you’re going to heal from your grief. I don’t know how to explain this to you properly, but you’re going to wake up one day forgetting about him. Although thoughts about him will creep up on you, it’s okay.

Whatever you do, do not seek closure on him or try to talk to him. You will find a way to move on.

Yeah, before I realized they were low value. Now I find it hard to reconcile that I wasted precious years giving a shit about people who ended up not being worth it and one can get caught up in comparing one's life to others and feeling behind.

However, once I woke up to how most men are the same, and most heterosexual relationships are very problematic (but society does a good job of grooming us to believe the opposite), I felt less shame, and now I feel kinda bad for women who haven't woken up yet. I think we get a lot of subliminal messages that teach us male attention=a woman's real worth, when it's not that simple.

They want us to think quantity is just as good as quality, but how validating does it feel to have a bunch of slimy guys hitting you up all the time, thinking they can talk to you however they want without consequences vs maybe 1 decent man approaches you every other year because you radiate "serious inquiries only" energy?

I also think because you see him every day at work, that might be causing you to subconsciously not be open to dating someone else because it feels like he's still a regular part of your life by his mere presence. Maybe pretend he doesn't work where you do and see how that may change your behavior outside of work.

Don't look at him, hear him, talk to him, if you can help it. Outta sight, outta mind and an old part of you can die a proper death to make room for new growth.

Hope that helps