Be honest, what was your worst date before you found FDS?

The one who when I went to his home after a couple of normal dates, he opened up his closet to show me it. I didn’t get why he showed so asked “what’s in here that I need to see?”

he shut it and said he is a “dom” and liked to find women who are into being handcuffed and told what to do while being trapped in there. He said he had once gotten a woman to “consent”

to being trapped in there in handcuffs and being told what to do by him for a whole year. He seemed very proud to tell me this. he made a point to tell me how much she loved it.

he went to the bathroom about 20 minutes later. Felt like hours and hours to me. I bolted and RAN for my car. and got the heck out of there! Holy shit, I am still wondering to this day if he would have trapped me in a closet forever if I had not felt such a sense of urgency to leave at that moment!

btw he is reported on every single website he tried to stalk me on for years after, detailed reports. He has left me alone for a few years now but I can’t do much besides that.

I have second-hand trauma from this comment section.

Scrote that claimed he was a cannibal and then doubled down when I told him he must be shit-testing me, so I was leaving. With the threatening vibe he gave off, I'm not entirely sure he wasn't serious, but I wasn't about to show any weakness he could take advantage of.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

A coffee date with a man I had known for a year. I thought he was such a sweetheart because he really wanted a relationship. Things didn't work out the year prior, because I had a medical condition where I couldn't have sex.(therefore I didn't want a relationship. My medical issues were enough baggage)

I tried to have sex with him. He kept twisting my fucking arm. (He did this a year prior as well, and knew i didn't like it. If i didn't like it then, why the fuck would I like it now?)

I told him to stop. He mocks me in a girl voice "sToP", so I got off the bed, sat in a chair, and told him "we just arent compatible. You need to leave."

The mother fucker had a dead tooth. I was getting nauseous kissing him. His hair was greasy, mouth was rancid, and him twisting my arm then mocking me like a sibling was the final nail in the coffin. I was horny when he came over and everything about him made my blood turn cold and my clit deflate.

He thinks it was some big elaborate scheme to pwn him or some shit. He later texted me "you'll be back when you're thirty."

Bullet dodged. Nuke dodged. I had no idea he was a redpiller because he never did the negging shit. When I'm thirty, his one single dead tooth will morph into five dead teeth. Im not coming back dude. You basically promised me terrible sex where anything I like will be purposefully withheld. You're a fucking hoarder and an alcoholic. Stank ass.

Even in my pickme hookup days I understood, at least, that a man who can't respect one tiny little boundary would be a shit lay. I'd rather masturbate.

Went to a bar this this fat, disgusting scrote who I had met the night previously at a bar. TBH the only reason I even agreed to see him that day was because he said he wanted to take me "out to lunch" at his "friend's" restaurant and he would ask his friend to get me a bartending/serving job there because I had told him that I didn't have a job at the time and really needed one.

He was like 1.5 hours late to pick me up and took me to a dive bar and his "friend" conveniently wasn't around to ask for the job for me.

We each ordered a beer and were chatting and tbh there was no chemistry whatsoever.

He paid the bill and said he wanted to take me to another bar down the street. As we were finishing our drinks, I said something to the effect of "that's a nice shape" as I was pointing to a type of beer glass that bar had that I'd never seen before (it was like an hourglass). This was right before we both got up, and he pointed to my ass and said super loudly, "No, THAT is a nice shape!".

As soon as we walked outside, he said he had to "grab something from his car real quick" (before we headed to the other spot). As soon as he turned his back, I bolted down the street and obviously blocked him.

Hmm was it the guy who wanted to walk an odd route to the restaurant and it was because he wanted to show off to his friends that he was on a date with a white woman?

No, I think it’s the guy who said “I have to go pee pee” and urinated against a tree then still tried to convince me to sleep with him.

- A dude I met online who talked me into a date. We walked 30 minutes to a McDonalds. He farted and made a joke about it. We went back to my place and played a video game. He started tickling and then trying to kiss me. I let it happen because he was handsome at least but he was an awful kisser. When it was time to sleep he asked me for a handjob, I refused. Sadly we did date for another 8 months. It was hell, but I was 17 and wanted a boyfriend to take my mind off other things. I finally got a grip one day and broke up with him over text lol.

- All the first dates with my most recent ex. First was over a stupid "bet" we made which I lost so I had to take him out for lunch. It was a cheap Asian place. He took off his glasses and wallowed in self pity over something and I had to coddle him. I expected him to relieve me of the embarrassment of actually paying for this but he totally let me. Sigh. Another time we were at my place and I even went to the trouble of cooking for him, when he sat down to eat he remarked that his ex used to work in the building across the living room window and dwelled on that for quite some time. He hugged me a few times but also said he "didn't want to hurt me". Should have listened to him... The third "date" was us going to a Christmas market where I basically dragged him. We got a little tipsy and had an awkward little dance. I tried to kiss him but he turned away. After a while of me continuing to flirt with him he gave in just a little, when I tried to go in for a real kiss he told me to not get ahead of myself. Message received, I thought. We got on the train and I got off at my stop, ready to go home and be done with it when he says he'll come with me and stay the night, and kissed me with full force. I fell for it and let him come with me. We made out some more and he took off his shirt. I didn't want to go any further than that. Next day he went to some uni thing and didn't message or call me for almost the whole day. I was super anxious about it. In the evening he called and I asked him where we would go from here, he suddenly drops the L bomb on me. Of course I wasn't ready to say it back at all. How I ended up dating this man for 9 years... That's another story.

Back in 2005. Walk date with guy met on the internet. He confessed of wanting to join a terrorist organization. I politely excused myself after a while and stopped talking to him. 😅

Tldr: Ghosted after third date sex with an older, balding, cheap, small pp scrote that I thought was a catch. And the dates weren't even that enjoyable. Thank goodness I found FDS. Never again!!

- Matched with a 31 year old guy on Hinge (I'm early 20s) 🤡 Also, his hairline was hanging on for its dear life

- Our first date was coffee 🤡. When I showed up to the coffee shop, I saw him sitting at a table already drinking a beverage. He saw me, but didn't get up. I paid for my coffee 🤡. I'm sure he purposely got there early to avoid having to buy me coffee (!). It could have also been a s*** test.

- He spent the whole date talking about himself and the startup he was working at 🤡

- Despite that, I went on a second date. I was a pick me and thought he was SuCh a CaTcH because he had a PhD. Our second date with drinks 🤡. He paid, but kinda reluctantly? Like the bill sat on the table a breath too long. Went back to his place and we hooked up but didn't have sex.

- We had dinner on the third date and split the bill 🤡. Even as a pick me I didn't like splitting bills, but the check was just awkwardly sitting on the table.

- We had sex after and ofc his 🍆 was small AND he had premature ejaculation issues. Of course, I soothed his ego when he said "this never usually happens!" 🤡 The next morning he takes me out to a nice breakfast place and pays.

- Of course, when I reach out to see him another time and think it's moving toward a relationship, he basically ghosts me. 🤡

Dated an older jackass (17/28…I know, I know) who at about the two week mark and the relationship being the most shallow I ever had, decided to tell me he loved me.

How?

He set I LOVE YOU as the screensaver on his shitty computer. Then he helpfully drew my attention to it.

So he was very romantic. In case you couldn’t tell.

Fucking thing lasted almost a year. Same guy liked to talk about all his exes and all the sexual shit he did with them.

He did this in front of my parents a couple of times. Who were rightfully disgusted with him.

My worst date would have to be the guy who invited me to dinner, picked me up on his motorcycle and then decided to change plans and took me to his place without telling me. I couldn’t say anything once I was on the back of his bike because he couldn’t hear me.

Let me see:

- Met a guy from OLD. He'd been calling me his princess and shit before we'd even met. Felt it was a bit weird but ignored how I felt. In hindsight, should have blocked and deleted. But nope, younger me gave him a chance and we ended up going to Burger King(I didnt want anything from there so I just sat as he ate). Then he showed me his motorbike. Finally blocked and deleted him afterwards.

- Met a guy from OLD. Went for a drink. He arrived with no money(I now realise it was probably because he spent it all on weed). Foolishly, stayed with him for two years. Now i've found FDS I would have gone home from that date before it even started and never spoke to him again. Wasted two years of my life on a video game addicted, porn addicted, constant stoner instead.

- Met a guy from OLD. Went to his on the first date for a cup of tea(no sex). His place was a cluttered, dirty, cigarette stained mess. Stayed with him for three years because "bUt wE cOnNeCt aS pEoPlE" but surprise surprise I ended up sick of his messy home, poor hygiene, constant smoking and never taking me out anywhere or putting a quarter of the amount of effort in that I did.

Finally single and am staying that way until I get this FDS stuff DRILLED into my head.

A guy I worked with flirted with me for months. He asked me out on a date. When I got there he started talking about a girl he had met at a concert. I should have just left but I didn’t. We talked for 2 hours and had a great time I thought. Then at the end I had to buy my own drink.

I stopped dating and bought the puppy I always wanted.

Honestly I had very bad dates where men get so clingy and want to touch me on the first dates which I always said no to and left them then blocked and deleted.

However, I heard of a story of a friend of a friend who was invited to go out on a date with a guy and they are both real estate agents so he told her he will cook her dinner at his place. She went there and they had dinner then after she ate, she was very sick. She told him she is not feeling well and had to go home but she went straight to the hospital to find out that what he fed her was human meat. The doctors told her whatever you ate isn’t animal based and from what we are seeing after pumping your stomach, it’s human. Never in my life was I ever so disturbed and wanted to puke. That poor woman. Idk even know what to say to this.

I went to the movies and then dinner. And he kept asking for sex on my way home. We would have such a stronger bond if we had sex, he would love me more ect. But when I brought up marriage he said he wants to get to know me better before we tie the knot.

So it’s not too early to sleep with me, to rent a house together where I’ll be cooking and cleaning, and have a baby within the first year of us living together but Marriage is too soon?

I said no and months later I got ghosted. I didn’t want to date anymore because Im always the one who has to entertain, I’m the one who has to go out of my ways to seem interesting and keep things exciting. But who is making me happy? 2 years after the ghosting I saw a video about Jada Pinker smith saying don’t worry about being liked worry about being respected, and then I saw a video about Mike Tyson saying respect is more powerful than love because look how many times you’ve hurt the ones you love but always try not to offend the ones you highly respect. And a video where a man said that he doesn’t need love, he needs respect. I saw it as a sign that this is what I need to do.

Then I stumbled upon FDS on Reddit and when I read the handbook posts I know now that I shouldn’t stay away from relationship because I fear that the person falls out of love. I should worry about being respected. Right now I don’t care about love anymore.

I value universal respect.

I was horny. I paid for a seedy motel and invited a balding dad bod guy over to me we made plans. It happened 2x before I got fed up that the sex was incredibly bad not even being generous and handing sex out made this dude good at sex. He was awful. I was incredibly lonely, alone, possible mental health issue very likely, he was somewhat nice to me at least. Like not insane or me feeling scared around him honestly he was probably more terrified of me at that point. Makes me wonder why I was down that bad yet everyone around me didn't ever notice? Or they did and let me. Perhaps I hid it well. Either way it was a dark time and spending my time reading more fds at least it's by far more productive. Feels awful getting that off my chest.

The worst date I ever had was in 2019! This might be a trigger (contains sexual assault) but basically I don’t really remember much of the date anymore but it was our second date and we went bowling and he kept trying to get me to kiss him saying things like “do you want to give me something for good luck?” And of course I always said no Fast forward to after the date we went to a restaurant and after the restaurant he tried to kiss me but ended up kissing my nose cause I didn’t realize he was going for a kiss and then he went for it again and that’s when *TW* he grabbed my neck while kissing me to try to choke me and said “are you a freak? because I like my girls freaky” I was so confused cause where did that come from? And all I wanted to do was get away from him Safe to say I made it out safely from that situation and now that I’ve found FDS a couple months after that date I’ve been able to vet guys better before going on dates with them

I have been tricked onto the worst dates by men that I thought wanted to be friends. (This was up until my mid 30s when I realized men and women can’t be friends.)

I went on a hike with a ”new friend” and he told me he had a knife just in case…um, I was way more worried about the scrote than about the .00001% chance we would encounter a mountain lion on an urban trail. Besides, a stick or any available rock would have been way more appropriate.