The Adventures of Moron the Chicken (I think I should start writing a book)

Just wanted to share tonight's hilarity. Also, partly me being grateful that THIS is the extent of drama in my life.

I have this one blue laced red wyandotte, she has EARNED the moniker of Moron. Most of my chickens have about 5 braincells. A couple of them have about 2. But Moron ...... she has 1/2 of one. She will do the smart thing (such as run when chased), but then will suddenly do the dumbest thing possible (such as hunker down IN THE OPEN with buzzards circling and the rest of the flock still hightailing it back to the safety of the tractor). While it only took all the rest of my chickens three or four nights to figure out how to go to bed at dark, it took Moron SEVEN. She still won't roost with the rest of them at night. She's not low on the pecking order either. When properly motivated, she will knock another chicken off the spot she wants on the roost and then take it, screaming at me the whole time.

Tonight, when I opened the door to access the egg spot (not a one of them is willing to use the very expensive nice large and comfy rollaway nesting box) Moron immediately flew right at my face, spraying my hoodie with liquid poop, right out into the open field from the safe enclosed space of the tractor. She then proceeded to wait calmly right behind me until I had recovered and went to pick her up to put her back, then decided to run in panicked circles around the outside of the tractor refusing to be caught. Only after I retrieved the big fishing net from my garage (at a dead run because it's getting dark and I am in the boonies aka: chicken predator central) did she begrudgingly allow me to catch her and put her back where she belonged. Oh, with a final layer of poop added to the front of my sweatshirt just for good measure.

I am now convinced this chicken is trying to kill herself and me in the process. Thank god she's the prettiest one, because the thought briefly crossed my mind to leave her out for the coyotes to chase and end my suffering.