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My ex has come out of the woodwork to threaten me again. He says he’s going to take me to court and regain custody of our kids (he’s had supervised visitation for 7 years). He says he has a voice recording of a worker at the drug testing facility admitting that she falsified the results of his tests (he’s had over 15 positive drug tests at multiple facilities). He says he has proof of parental alienation, and that that’s grounds for an immediate custody change (his “proof” is my son simply saying he doesn’t want to see him anymore until he gets sober).
So I will rejoice, knowing that our total freedom from this man is right around the corner. Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves. He wants to take me to court with all of this crazy? Let’s do it.
I know better than to bring an action against him because I am a woman, and that would be “vindictive”. In a sane world I could use these texts to prove harassment. Instead, I will let him prove it himself. I will walk into that courtroom dripping with compassion for this man who is so clearly mentally ill.
I’ve seen it before. When a narcissist is losing control he will frame it as if YOU are. Never back down to their threats. And never, ever procreate with a scrote.
Amen to everything you've said. Ignoring them gives them the WORST feelings, and then they start up with trying to get a rise out of you.
I'm really sorry that you're having to go through this threatening garbage behavior, especially as it affects your children. (((hugs)))
I'd be grounded right now, because modern courts DO aim for 50/50 even though mothers birth the children and do more work in general, but IF HE DOES, that means you need to start documenting. If he's only had supervised visits thus far, then they probably will give him more than that. That could look like video chats over the week and visits on the weekends. But crazy people get found out.
I'm a narcissist magnet (I've got a sort of manic pixie dream girl vibe that sticks out in my culture).
One of the many underrated benefits of aging is gaining the experience to spot patterns like this. I've had a narcissist move through my life like a tornado this year.
After the initial heartache, I've removed myself from the situation as much as possible and just left her and her behaviour be, because all she's actually done is take out the trash which is beneficial for me.
Now I'm observing her from a distance. There are things an inexperienced person would be worried or upset about that I know are positve signs, because they show she knows she's lost control.
She's "won" people who resent her for pushing me away, even though that's down to them expecting me to fight for them. She's "won" people who just wanted to take advantage of her. She's "won" people who are fickle. She desperately trying to pretend she won higher value people who in reality are trapped in physical proximity and grey rock her. On some level she knows this, and she's spiralling.
I don't care about teaching her a lesson, I care about showing the wider community that I don't hang around in unpleasant spaces. If they invite a narcissist in I leave. Lots of bystanders have gone from thinking they're in a position of power and able to make judgement on me vs the narc, to having a spotlight shone on them and being forced into the same fighting pit they tried to throw me in.