It’s whats led some step-parents, especially step-moms, to take a new approach to bonding with and parenting their step-kids: the Nacho Kids Method, aka “not your kids, not your responsibility.”
For example, say one of your step-kids isn’t listening to repeated pleas to take all of five seconds to put their dirty cup in the dishwasher. You try a reward system, then threats and punishments, and the child continues to leave their dirty cups everywhere a la Signs, only adding to your ever-growing chore list. Not only that, but it strains your relationship further. What the hell do you do?
Take a deep breath, accept it isn’t your problem to make this child do anything, and walk away from the situation. Stop picking up the cups or cleaning their eventual spills. This is not your problem or responsibility. Tell your partner it’s an issue, and that he’s the one who will have to deal with it. That is what the Nacho Kids method would have you do.
https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/nacho-kid-method-step-parenting
Nah, you don't even be with a man who is going to foist his kids on you. The only men with kids who deserve your time better be hands-on active parents. I'd personally never date a man with kids, but if I had kids of my own *maybe*, but he'd have to be hella high value.