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Queens, I'm miffed.
My boys are very polite- they're kind to everyone, and I love that about them.
When they were just 5 years old a little boy with Tourettes' grandma approached me and asked if they'd be willing to sit next to him on the school bus as he was getting bullied. She said her grandson had said they were they only kids at school who were nice to him.
I thought this was so sweet! My boys were happy to oblige, and they've been friends with him going on 7 years now.
Recently something similar happened, but it hasn't gone quite as well. A mother approached me and said her autistic son had no friends, but had mentioned that he'd like to get to know my boys. I talked to my sons about it and they said they would try- but that he is quite rude and they don't really enjoy his company.
Today they invited him to play soccer with them and their group of friends. His mom stayed in the car the whole time, which I found a bit odd. The boy walked up and I said, "Hi, so and so. How's it going?"
"Can you just not talk?" He said.
Rude!
And Queens, I may be 40, but I am still a bit immature at times. This really got to me. I know it shouldn't have, but it did.
As they finished up, he overheard my boys talking about going to see a movie later on with their friend.
"Oh," the boy said, looking right at me. "Which movie theater and what time?"
"Now you want to talk to me, huh?" I said. Petty, I know.
"Which movie theater?" He now asked my son, who told him. The boy fired off some texts to his mom who was still in her car, and got a quick text back.
"She says we'll meet you there."
Ugh.
Queens, I don't want to deal with this kid. I fully believe my sons that he's just a douche. I don't think this is autism. I think this is scrotey entitled douchiness that his parents have slapped an autism label on so they can write it off as something that he can't help, rather than deal with it.
My kids said he was rough and rude during soccer. They don't even want him to join next time. I really wish I hadn't told his mom this was a weekly thing.
It starts young, Queens.
I'm off to go see a movie with a kid I can't stand. I'll bet mom will be dropping him off and staying in the parking lot again so I will have to be the one who deals with him.
Not looking forward to it.
You're not obligated to put up with bad behavior. Just let him do.. him, and if he keeps disrespecting you and your kids, you can just give the feedback to his mom that his son is acting rude, and that you would be willing to help but not at the cost of being disrespected, so either they do something about it or you're not hanging out with the kid anymore. It's within your rights, and if you give the feedback in a tactical, thoughtful manner (supported by evidence) no one can accuse you of being the bad guy here for drawing boundaries.
Instead of being child ish yourself you should display a form of authority and put him in place. I had a kid say something rude because mommy was there and thought he could get away with it so I said " Watch your mouth, you can talk to your mother like that but I don't tolerate that, Respect me or shut your mouth" ofcourse the mommy got annoyed saying " It's a kid" and I said " Yeah you are the adult, you're the one who should teach him manners"
Maybe because I don't like kids very much I have no problem putting them in place, but after this I decided to never befriend mothers again, their whole day revolves around their kid, and I'm not having it.
I have an autistic family member, and neither him nor any of the others I met at the local resource centre has ever done anything like tell me to shut up.
Even if he really does have autism, he's an asshole who also happens to have autism. Nothing wrong with treating him the same as any other guy behaving like an asshole.
Sounds like you are raising your boys right and they are good judges of character!
Definitely tell your sons that they don't have to try to befriend him anymore. They (and you!) tried, and he repaid the effort with rudeness. He and his mother need to learn the hard way.
You're right, it does start young and it's heartbreaking to see. Why do parents let their sons behave so badly??! It seems easy these days because as you say, they can just slap a label on it. But why wouldn't they try to make their kid a better human being while he's still young and malleable? Maybe his dad is a douchey scrote too. It's easy to pick the bratty little scrotes in making, and it certainly sounds like this little boy is one of them.
I don't know what to say other than if you don't want to hang out with him, and your sons don't want to hang out with him, it would be good to find a way not to. You can be polite and tell his mum about his behaviour or you can try to evade them next time.
Thank you for finally saying it! "Autism" = "My child is an asshole because I was a bad parent and now I want to blame my kid for my own shittiness."
The sad thing is that it's never the child's fault.
I know a scrote who goes around bragging that his child has autism. Oh poor scrote, it must be so hard on him as a "single dad" who sees the child a few days every month and is responsible for none of his education, medical appointments, extracurriculars, socialzation.
A lot of horrible parents will insist on getting their kid officially diagnosed after multiple doctors have denied it so that they can wave the diagnosis around like a badge of honor and get sympathy, while their child gets to go through life with this negative label.
On the other hand, autism is real. But the above is increasingly common. And evil.
Are you still planning to hangout with them?
If so pay close attention to the mom's parenting style .
If you get a wiff that she condones his behavior then no more playdates. A rude kid is a rude kid. Autistic or not.
There are so many parents who treat their kids like they are better than anyone else and it ruins the child’s ability to make friends or get along with anyone. I think you would be doing this kid a favor by being petty to him if it puts him in his place.
ew. is there a Block + Delete miniscrote edition?
Is there a rule or law that says you have to allow this rude cripple to join you and your family on private outings?
I didn't think so.
In the future, you can decline. "No" is a complete sentence.
Very ableist some of these comments saying things like how autism is just a label parents use, how autism + being male is a bad mix, how being autistic makes us not "healthy" and the worst one; calling an autistic (and an autistic child at that) a cripple. I'm sorry, what? That is fucking disgusting
Idk about this kid, and autie males CAN often be ruder and more misogynistic than females, but something I will say that happens a lot with autistic people in general is that non-autistic people accuse us of being rude or hostile or arrogant when we never intended to. Was this kid having sensory overload and just blurted this comment out because of that and emotional dysregulation? Idk. I'm not trying to excuse rudeness, but neurotypicals unfortunately DO judge and criticise autistic people a lot just because we don't operate the same as them. All the same, those remarks people made are gross as hell especially that cripple one 🤢 At the end of the day this is a little kid who said "can you stop talking". It far from the worst thing in the world. Fuck me, I have said some blunt (and misogynistic - like girls are dumb plastic bitches etc) things in my youth. Yes don't justify rudeness, but to me this post seems a bit mean spirited and unnecessary