I know there have been a couple podcasts addressing this but my situation is frustrating and unique. In FDS we can get a little wrapped up in the #yesallmen and I'm all for it but lol I am attempting to help raise the next generation of HVM. And because my pick-me self had a child with a NVM who absolutely destroyed me in court (it's an absolute myth that courts are pro-moms and the fact that I was in recovery was used against me), I only have my son every other weekend. SO I know from the podcast episode that dragging up a functional man in our society cannot be done quickly, in long lectures, or in a small amount of time- but that's kind of all I have? Any single mother queens out there who can help me undo the "damage" my nvm ex is doing to my son when he has him for 90% of the time? My pure-hearted baby boy has already started spouting aforementioned dad's misogynistic ideas and I'm at a loss of what to do to correct this :(
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I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I’m a single mom to a boy who is turning 7 years old next month. It’s 50/50 between his dad and I. However, his dad is NVM and is a miserable human being. Thankfully my son and I have a great relationship. I always tell him stories and make him listen to some podcasts with me while on the road. I always ask him questions to see what he thinks and how he feels. He has a daily routine where he gets up, tidies his bed, brushes his teeth, gets ready, etc. he then helps me with dishes and laundry. We do it together. I also point that hygiene is important. I got him books on kindness, respect, emotional regulations, and how to deal with anger. We spend a lot of time together away from electronics (no iPad or phones in my home are allowed). He also watches TV but no YouTube. We spend most of our time outdoors, with friends or at indoor playgrounds. I try to surround him a lot with feminine energy. My gfs are amazing, My sisters, my nieces (he loves them). I also talk about my period to him if I’m not feeling well and explain what it does to the female body. I hope this helps a little 😅
I’m not a mom but in addition to Gail I would recommend feminist childrens books/comics
He’s being raised by a NVM primarily and you only see him every other weekend? I’m so so sorry this happened to you and your son. I also recommend Gail Dines. Maybe you could pick up some of her books. I don’t have any children, so I can’t offer any advice other than do not blame yourself for how your son turns out either way. It really would have not been your fault, especially since patriarchy made sure you wouldn’t be in his life as much as you should.
Gail Dines has great resource links for parents on her Culture Reframed site. Check it out.