Why men should pay

I used to be like this and for me, it was related to my sense of control, power, and autonomy. I did not want to feel in debt to men and I wanted to demonstrate my maturity/responsibility and ability to "hold my own." I thought I was communicating that I didn't need men and could leave them (so value me!), but the reality was that I attracted loser men who were looking for sugar mommies. And then ended up with one, who is now trying to get alimony in our divorce because at 40 years old he still doesn't work/earn enough to pay his own bills.

The reality is that men don't value women unless they are demonstrating it through their labor, which translates to paying for dinner, favors, etc. Men show their values through their wallet. A man who will pay hundreds for video games, cars, sports, personal hobbies etc but expects 50/50 on dates is showing that he cares more about himself than his future partner. He needs to be willing to give 100% of himself or else he just isn't husband material. I wish I knew how to get my younger self to understand but I don't know if logic really works here. We want to believe men are like us and they're just not. It takes a lot of difficult experiences with men to really get it.