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Look, we're all aging," Maddy Dychtwald tells me. "That's a process that starts in the womb, and goes all the way to the day you die."
The 74 year-old co-founder of the consulting organization Age Wave and author (with Kate Hanley) of “Ageless Aging: A Woman's Guide to Increasing Healthspan, Brainspan, and Lifespan” knows that’s a reality our culture has difficulty reckoning with. She admits she was advised not to put the word “aging” in the title of her book, “because people don't like it.” But that was what drew me to it — that it wasn’t yet another guide to “anti-aging” or “fighting aging.” Yet what really piqued my interest was the Dychtwald’s frank, pragmatic inclusion of financial planning in her guidance.
A 2017 Groupon survey found that women spend up to $313 a month on their appearance — a habit that can cost $225,000 over an adult lifetime. And as someone who colors her hair and uses vitamin C serum, no judgment. But if we’re giving more of our paychecks to Sephora than our own savings and investments, it’s going to be a whole lot more challenging to keep feeling good in a few decades, when the doctor bills and prescriptions are adding up.
In acknowledging that while health is wealth, wealth is also health, Dychtwald gives realistic context to her other insights about fitness, food and connection. “When you have your financial house in order, it impacts your health in so many positive ways,” she writes.
Having a good financial footing is paramount to having a happy, healthy life. I eat good food, I have zero issues going to the doctor, my stress is reduced cuz I’m not worried about bills or losing my job, and even with buying nice things like clothes made from real fibers like cotton has helped SO MUCH with these heat waves. It was 100 degrees yesterday and, sure, I was sweating, but I didn’t overheat at all in my cotton clothes. If I’d been wearing plastic I’m sure I’d have felt like I was dying. The quality of life you have when you prioritize money is great.
Hear hear! This is why I’m investing so much money in my future. Not in stock, but in the sustainability of my house. It will be paid off once I retire and the price of the mortgage will not go up anymore - another 5 years of inflation and it’s practically a steal.
I’m at the same time investing in skincare because I don’t want to wait with that until I’m fully FIRE, but I make very conscious choices where I spend my money on (and I keep the foot on the pedal when it comes to career / salary negotiations because earning more is easier than spending less).
The amount of extra headspace I get, every time the gap between my salary and mortgage grows another bit, is undescribable. It’s an interesting journey to find the delicate balance between actually increasing the headspace or working yourself up to get there faster, but knowing that this place is mine and no man or breakup can ever ruin that, is like heroin.
And don’t get me wrong, I’ve sacrificed. Vacations, mostly, but also dinners and other luxury items. I knew it was temporary and that I bought a life of increasing freedom.
Because life is so brief Women shouldn't be dencouraged by settling for men, I used to be one of the women who feel they didn't deserve the princess treatment, the Disney princess dinners and hopefully weddings. I chose a below-the-barrel 50/50 manoids and one was by far the worst.
A dude who literally lives in a dumpster with his parents and seemed like a person who just want sex and mooch off me, I was a fool for not noticing mirroring behavior (Liking every single thing I like) Love bombing not minding a single thing about me like being an introvert and love nature based dates.
But for him the nature based dates means screwing in the open, I didn't notice the dry begging or the traps he placed for me to make it harder not to sleep with him, showing very expensive condoms saying he spend a fortune on them, while my birthday gift didn't even cost that much.
Thankfully for me the trash took itself out when I was steadfast with my refusal. I made very clear that I will not sleep with a man if he hasn't proven with observable evidence that he is a partner for life. Because all I get from him is the things I can do for him, and what he can get out of it, instead of creating wonderful memories together.
I know the vast majority of men are like this dude, so I'll ask again.. is this better than a cat?