[RANT] It's impossible to level up in the current economy

for me to get a PhD it would take me another 4 or 5 years, probably (without counting all the time preparing to apply). And I would have to stop working in order to dedicate myself to studying (where i live a PhD is considered studying, not a job position). besides, it actually makes it more difficult to find a job because you become an expensive professional. i might do an MBA or something like that, but not right now. i have already changed careers. i used to be a scientist and wanted to do research. now i work in tech.

To be clear I don’t think everyone needs a PhD to be successful, that’s just what I did. And yep it took 5 years and I made like no money during that time.

academia is cruel to both your pockets and your mental health. that's why i left it.

No quality female friends from academia. they either leveled up before me and are already independent (hence don't want to share an apartment, or already share one with someone else), or they have different priorities. i recently tried finding a place to share with one of them, but she was in a hurry and ended up renting a room from strangers. the courage!

my parents aren't abusive to me, thankfully. i just don't like living with them, or living in this house given everything that happened during my formative years. i'm in my 30s, i want independence. i feel like a teen living here and it makes me ashamed.

thank you for caring and trying to help. i appreciate it 💚

Also feel like the economy and a lot of the people running things are msyogynisyic and they WANT women to be trapped. So I think they are purposely making it harder for us to be successful and independent- even to get a roomate in some states is a hassle and a half! They want us women to be bangmaids - married and tied down! Ugh

As much as I hate nursing (i thought I was going to be a missionary and hero saving lives all day LMFAO, a lot of nurses are toxic and so are the workplaces, night shift is hell), one thing is true is that it opened up a way for me to always make enough money to be okay. Even though I can’t afford a single family home on my income, I make enough to buy a condo in a decent to good area. I make enough to rent an apartment somewhere safe by myself or get roommates somewhere safe. If I had made better choices and got hospital experience, I could be making like $200k a year as a travel nurse or something. Maybe even more depending on where I work.

thank you for your kind words and encouragement 💚

This is good advice.

Tetris can also help with symptoms of trauma and anxiety.

I agree.

In my parents' generation a single worker in normal-blue collar job could feed a stay-at-home wife, three kids and buy a house in a decent area on that income. He could retire, go on vacations and afford a decent middle-class standard of living for that time.

In my generation two university-educated people working full-time are struggling to afford to rent a small apartment in a decent part of the city together if you are in a high cost of living area, let alone have a child.

This is not normal. This is not something you can just "educate yourself" out of by just taking a few classes and then magically getting a six-figure-job thrown at you. Many places are not hiring or even actively reducing their staff because we are in a recession. If you don't already have a job, rent-controlled apartment or inherited a house from your parents, you are fighting an uphill battle and pretending that's not the case is helping nobody.

exactly! my mother keeps saying i should forget all about renting a place and focus on saving up to buy a house. she simply cannot understand it is not feasible for me. i'm in my 30s and a jr at my job. definitely a very late bloomer career-wise. i just wish home owners would charge rents that aren't ridiculously expensive. this way i could at least move out.

i'm gonna have to wait until i inherit something. it's so sad. i just want to live with dignity...

my female friends are all in different stages of life. some of them are married, others are single mothers, others live with other friends already, so i have no one to be a flatmate. living alone is my biggest dream in life, but it's too expensive.

wow, it seems like nightmare... i hope you can sell the stuff you need to sell and can move to a better apartment soon! many people look at other people in debt and think "they are just irresponsible" but most of the times it's just someone who's too poor not to be in debt. it becomes a vicious cicle with credit cards and paying the bills is liek this very basic thing you simply can't afford. i've never been in that situation, but i've known plenty of people who have. i wish you good luck, sis!

Hey you- you're awesome! That sounds really tough. And you're right- it would be easy to just move in with your crush... in the short term. Good on you for seeing the big picture. I believe you've got better times ahead!

You need to meet offline. Go to talks related to your profession, etc.

You have to think about networking in a broader manner--it doesn't necessarily have to be professional conferences and Linkedin. In fact, I would argue it's more productive to meet people in other settings--sports groups, clubs, volunteer groups, even religious groups, if that's your thing. You meet people, socialize, form relationships, and some of them might like you enough to give you a tip or offer. It won't happen overnight because building relationships and rapport takes time, and you don't want to make it seem like you're just talking to them to get something.

Part of what I meant earlier about doing things different in college was that I would've spent more time socializing with my peers and less time working a part time job you can get with a high school (or less) education. Heck, I might've even spent less time studying. People get you jobs--not your GPA or credentials. I'm still annoyed about it 9+ years on because it feels like a gaslight-y scam ("go to college!" "College grads earn more money!" "degrees open doors!") but for the most part, degrees are just window dressing and post-hoc rationalization for hiring someone they wanted to hire anyway...this is especially true in white collar industries.

"Meritocracy" is a joke. Plus there's all the additional economic factors of 100 people competing for one good job, decrease in standards of living across the board due to stagnant minimum wages, the fact that we've never really recovered from the 2008 recession IMO....it's rough out there. But this is why relationships and community are so very important for your financial and emotional stability. We're social animals--we're not meant to do everything by ourselves and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, despite what supporters of this hyper-individualized capitalist dystopia like to say.

TLDR--in person networking--socialize anywhere and everywhere. I never found Linkedin particularly helpful, but you can certainly keep your profile up to date so someone can look you up AFTER you've made the in-person connection.

oh, i understand now. thank you so much for your insights! i'll work more on my non-linkedin networking skills. and i agree, college is just an illusion... it just makes me angrier about my paycheck. i should be paid more given the amount of time and energy spent with studying. one of my coworkers threw in my face the other day that he always says good things about me to our boss (which implies i owe him something). he is really good with people and networking, i'm not. so he has a point... people give you jobs, not necessarily your competence. and that is sad!