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Has positive affirmations without any actions worked for anyone? Why is it that all the positive affirmation people I happen to know are broke and lazy?
I find myself once again financially bailing my positive affirmation family members out of their poor financial and life decisions. I'm starting to feel really angry and resentful about it because I was about to make an investment that I was really interested in and excited about. I can't afford to keep doing this.
I admit I've never been one to do positive affirmations, vision boards etc. I just think of a goal that I want to achieve and I start working and taking the actions needed to achieve it. I don't think I'm a negative person. I always encourage people to take the actions needed to achieve their goals and dreams. We grew up poor, I worked to get a STEM scholarship. I worked odd jobs during university. I worked 16 hour Days during summer to be able to afford a cheap phone and second hand car. I've made calculated decisions about my life and took the necessary actions needed to pull myself out of poverty. I didn't sit around and use positive affirmations to get a scholarship. I put in the work needed to achieve what I wanted. Now I have a STEM education, good job and can afford a new car, apartment in a good area, etc.
Yesterday I blew up because I found myself once again bailing these positive affirmation NAZIs out of the shitty financial decisions they make. My mum tried to give me a list of positive affirmations to say to calm me down and I snapped that she's been saying them and sticking them all over the place since 2008 and has gone from being poor to negative value in debt. I know that sound harsh but I'm tired of absorbing the costs of their poor decisions. It's making me angry and resentful and this is not who I am .
I've tried my very best to help them better themselves financially. I've spent hours helping with resumes and LinkedIn, yet my dad and both brothers have rejected well paying job opportunities that I have found for them. They are happy to work in minimum wage jobs and let me pay the balance of what they can't afford. I've tried helping them use credit cards to maximize cash back opportunities and avoid debt, tried teaching them about savings and investments. Tried telling everyone to put $25 per paycheck (bi-weekly) into a jar for yearly family vacations/emergencies, so that I'm not once again paying for the whole thing. My mum and brothers are not university educated but I firmly believe people can be successful without a degree or education if they invest the right way and make the right financial decisions.
Most of my friends who do positive affirmations and vision boards are broke and in MLM schemes. My mother has been broke her whole life, she's now in debt and last week decided it's fine to quit her job because I'm here to absorb the costs. My father and brother reject all the high paying jobs I use my resources and contacts to get for them. My youngest brother isn't working right now but he's struggling with mental health so I'm fine with supporting him. I don't mind helping out when someone gets laid off, loses their job etc. But they make horrible financial decisions, keep buying stuff they don't need, getting into credit card debt unnecessarily and they don't want to better themselves. How can you better yourself by sticking pictures of money and positive affirmations all over the place and not doing anything to absorb it? Apparently this is trying to them.
Sorry for the rant. But according to my mum, I'm a negative killjoy because I pointed out that position affirmations without actions isn't even trying to better yourselves. This is not what I wanted my life to be like in my 20s. Has anyone had any similar experiences? I feel there can be something called toxic positivity in scenarios like this..... I'm not sure how to go about handling it.
Can’t imagine how stressful this is for you. You need to enforce immovable boundaries for your health and sanity. I’m not a fan of people that use affirmations as a spiritual practice. It’s a way for them to justify laziness and deliberate ineptitude instead of doing the hard stuff. They’ll continue to make poor decisions until you make it clear you’re fine with seeing them hit rock bottom as a result of their poor choices.
It sounds like you're almost coming to the conclusion that you should stop helping them. But you're not arriving at that conclusion, instead using venting and ranting to resolve your feelings. If you refuse to set boundaries, no one can help you.
Positive affirmations only work when coupled with practical action.
This means stuff like changing your mindset to be positive, then going and applying for a bunch of jobs and carrying this attitude forward. There has to be action to back up the positive thinking, otherwise it's just farting in the wind.
Your family unfortunately has forgotten the hard part because they have you to bail them out. Stop immediately, you're enabling them. I know that's hard to hear and do, but it's the only way. People understand consequences.
Plus, there's no doubt in my mind that your family enjoys depleting your resources and pulling you back into their bs. Once you step away, I guarantee you they will shape up or ship out. Either way? Blessings for you.
Good luck cutting these dead beats off. You'll soar without them clinging to your coattails
Positive affirmations a method to create a pathway in the brain. I for instance have an "unloveable" driver, so when I created an alarm that told me I am loveable every day it was VERY uncomfortable. This is because the driver is a deeply rooted message in my mind and it means I don't truly believe people like me, let alone love me. After some time it became easier to see.
It won't fix my life, but it will help me work on the driver that I identified.
So yeah, it's a tool. Got to use the right tool for the right job.
Sorry about your family. It sounds like you're parenting them :(
I'm a Christian reading this, my first instinct is to cut off your family and run because affirmations are great when combined with actions, but no actions and keeping others down is selfishness and laziness (which are sins against God). You have done a lot for your family, but the reason they stay like this is because they know that you will help them. As a woman, we are taught to put family before ourselves; however, most men are allowed to be selfish and coddled. If you live with your family, I suggest moving if you can afford it. And change you banking information along with keeping a lock on your credit. Move quietly and leave when no one is watching. If not, I would downplay my funds and put the funds where no one can assess it. Lie about your money. Pay the bare minimum to your parents if you live at home and keep the rest in a fund where no one can touch it. I am sorry about your family and their current mindset. You being there and supporting them allows them to keep the tinted glasses on. It's time for them to take it off.
Please stop doing all this for them and bending over backwards, people pleasing and having to put your own wellbeing on the backburner.
they are just using you and positive affirmations as a crutch. once you stop pleasing them and start putting yourself first, you’ll find that they are fully capable of taking care of themselves without using you as a mule
The affirmations are supposed to set you up to make better decisions in whatever vein in life you’re trying to improve, so no, if the affirmations don’t couple with actions, they’re useless. Now Abraham Hicks will tell you differently, but IDGAF. I have an ex best friend who fell for her nonsense, and she quit her job as a VP at Deutsche Bank and moved an African scam artist boyfriend into her apartment. She’s been paying for him on her life savings and concocting “get rich schemes“ with him that haven’t gone anywhere. We’re no longer friends because she believes that I somehow caused my own parachute accident and broken neck in the Army by my “low vibrations.” We even got into an argument about it, and I asked her if the starving kids in Africa were just not vibrating on the UN rice level? It’s just so f*cking stupid that I cannot deal with these people. You can hope and dream all you want, but you’d better get up off your arse and make things happen. God helps those who help themselves. You must work to be successful. You must buy the lottery ticket even to win the lottery! That involves ACTION.
I think positive affirmations work if you are consistent and have an end goal in mind. However, even Louise Hay states that you can’t expect positive affirmations to bring love or money to your door- you learn to love yourself and then go on dates- you build up self confidence in your networking and technical skills and then begin applying.