Your worth as a person is not tied to your attractiveness.
Learn the difference between being lonely and being alone.
Boundaries are not meant to be broken or stepped on. They are meant to be respected.
You are never too old to learn a new hobby, read that one book, go back to school, still like that one band, or wear those clothes.
There's always going to be someone who hates you. That's okay. There are probably people you hate too.
Your opinions are just as valuable as those of others, even if others are more 'educated' on the topic.
It's better to have a few friends who are always there for you than many friends you can never reach.
There will be plenty of people who think you are too intense, too extreme, and too opinionated. But there are also going to be plenty of people who will admire those same qualities and look up to you. There probably was a time in your life when you were too scared to speak up too.
Hungry pigs can and will eat humans.
You are not a bad person for cutting people out of your life when they continuously hurt you, even if those people are suffering, ill, or lonely.
You don't have to accept every apology. It's okay to stay angry. You don't have to forgive and forget.
Self-care is about more than wearing face masks and smelling scented candles. It's about prioritizing your well-being, staying in when you need to, and reaching out to people who make you feel good.
The people who hurt you will meet someone who's even worse. It's not going to be you though, because you will be too busy leveling up.
Your first painting/clay sculpture/workout isn't going to be perfect. Picking up new skills takes time. Perfecting them takes even longer.
Who cares if the colors of your clothes don't match, or if that coat is 'so out of season', or if you don't have the right body type/you're too heavy/too thin/not muscular enough, or if mEn DoN't LiKe ThOsE kInDs OF cLoThEs? If you like it and it makes you feel good, wear it.
Being confident does not equal being arrogant. You can never be too confident.
Tell your friends when they make bad decisions. If they never listen to your advice, you're better off without them.
Similarly, you're also better off without friends who never tell you when you're making bad decisions.
The healthiest way to live is to find a balance between nurturing your mind, nurturing your soul, and nurturing your body. Don't starve one to feed the other.
You shouldn't be begging others to treat you with kindness.
Love is an important emotion. You love your mom, you love your best friend, you love your cat, you love looking at the stars at night, you love feeling the sun on your face on a spring afternoon when you're cycling through the park near your house. You love plenty. Don't feel like there's something wrong with you just because you've never loved someone romantically.
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Edited: Mar 03, 2023
Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me
Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me
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The last sentence in #21, I definitely relate to that. I've never dated or had a boyfriend at 33 years old. I'll be 34 next month.
#20 hits deep. I hate the countless hours I spent weeping and begging for certain friends, family, exes, etc to even treat me with basic human decency and respect. Never again.
Excellent list. Some I would like to add from my experience:
Just because it hurts or depresses you doesn't mean it's true (like men's redp_ll views on women, "30 is the new 60 for women, etc.")
It's okay to break up immediately after the first red flag or sign of disrespect.
If it's not a "hell yes" for him it's a "hell no."
Leave anyone who pings the uneasy gut feeling
You don't have to date someone with character flaws that make you uncomfortable because you don't feel pretty/smart/accomplished/wealthy enough for a better man
Love is not "work" in the sense of slogging through staying with a person you struggle to be around or be attracted to. Love is "work" like remembering to pick up a card for your mum.
If a man does not enhance your life in any way, don't date him. If a man takes away from any part of your life, don't date him.
You are not obligated to date a man who has neurodiversity or mental health issues even if you deal with any of those on your own. A lot of men sadly make up these diagnoses or they use a real diagnosis to excuse things like laziness, character flaws, cruelty, and/or selfishness.
Never ever force yourself to slog through activities you hate for a man. He won't appreciate it. Also never date a man who devalues your interests or tries to make you feel guilty or stupid for them.
If a man makes fun of your dog and "jokes" about kicking it, he will probably hurt it down the line. Abort mission immediately if a man is nothing but tender and empathetic to your pet.
If a man tells you he has a harmful behavior that is "automatic" and he "can't help it," run.
When a man pressures you to drink/smoke, even slightly ("you won't have a drink with me?") RUN.
22. Men will do/say anything to get you into bed.
#17! When I told my friend that I had broken up with my boyfriend of five years (after I found FDS, thanks gals ❤️), she started saying things like “good, I was so mad when he -insert shitty LVM action here-“. I was a bit upset with her. How could she see that he was treating me poorly from a spectator view and not say anything to me? Since finding FDS, I have made it a point in my life to be hyper honest with women about their dating lives.. if I think a man is a drain on their life, I tell them point blank. And thanks to FDS I can articulate why I disapprove of their bf’s/date’s behaviors.
#9, though 😨
saving this list! Thank you 🙏😊
22. GET 8 HOURS A SLEEP EVERY SINGLE NIGHT MAKE IT A PRIORITY. it will serve your mind body and soul.
23. Toxic men want attention, any attention. If you catch yourself endlessly explaining how he's disrespecting you, fighting, talking to a brick wall, getting upset, anxious, insecure, realize that there are men who will play the "good guy" while doing a bunch of sneaky crazy making BS and even negative attention is attention for them, they want that. In fact you constantly being on edge makes it harder for you to feel your intuition, get out as soon as you notice this insane dynamic. Some guys will even say "if you have any issues, I want you to communicate with me! We're a team! I want you to be open with me!" So you tell them what concerns you, and they gaslight you. Cheaters do this a lot. Men will say the opposite of what they are- this is why I swipe left on guys on apps who put "I'm looking for honesty, communication, trust and openness". It's either a guy who's been recently burned or one of these psychology woke abusers. Normal people don't go around excessively talking about trust communication honesty etc. They want your guard down. People who are trustworthy, honest and open simply exist, they don't broadcast it verbally .