You can learn so much about yourself by your triggers. For me, I noticed that I always felt a burning envy towards women who I felt were more talented than me.
But when I got to the core of it, I wasn't exactly mad they were better than me at something. I was jealous of the fact they got to do something they love that I was too afraid to do myself.
I also felt this way towards feminine women, I'm not actually mad at them for being more feminine than me. I was jealous that I felt disconnected from my own femininity (especially since I was kinda forced to wear boys clothes growing up)
I still struggle with jealousy but I never take it out on other women. I used to stew in it and feel bitter. But lately I've been paying attention to those feelings. "What do they have that I feel is missing from my life?" Is what I've been asking myself when I feel pangs of jealousy and envy
"What do they have that I feel is missing from my life?" -- I love this reframing!!
Any time I feel resentment towards a fellow woman, I stop and check if it's for a reason that men would approve of. Like if I'm envious of her for her beauty or talent or getting attention for something -- those are definitely things that a scrote would use to pit one woman against another, therefore trying to divide us and separate us from our rightful networks/support systems. If OTOH I feel triggered by a woman's behavior, and it's for some pickme behavior of hers that I feel is bad for women, and it's a behavior I IN NO WAY want to emulate, then I can clock it as "not envy" and go on my merry way.