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You can learn so much about yourself by your triggers. For me, I noticed that I always felt a burning envy towards women who I felt were more talented than me.
But when I got to the core of it, I wasn't exactly mad they were better than me at something. I was jealous of the fact they got to do something they love that I was too afraid to do myself.
I also felt this way towards feminine women, I'm not actually mad at them for being more feminine than me. I was jealous that I felt disconnected from my own femininity (especially since I was kinda forced to wear boys clothes growing up)
I still struggle with jealousy but I never take it out on other women. I used to stew in it and feel bitter. But lately I've been paying attention to those feelings. "What do they have that I feel is missing from my life?" Is what I've been asking myself when I feel pangs of jealousy and envy
I struggle with envy myself. I have been trying to unpack it and deal with it better because it can often eat me alive. I think it's because my life has been very traumatic and painful and I've always been invisible in the world. When i see beautiful, young, successful women I feel envious of what they have and I feel I don't measure up. I know it's because I don't have the life I want. I am definitely trying to use these feelings to motivate me on my leveling up journey.
"What do they have that I feel is missing from my life?" -- I love this reframing!!
Any time I feel resentment towards a fellow woman, I stop and check if it's for a reason that men would approve of. Like if I'm envious of her for her beauty or talent or getting attention for something -- those are definitely things that a scrote would use to pit one woman against another, therefore trying to divide us and separate us from our rightful networks/support systems. If OTOH I feel triggered by a woman's behavior, and it's for some pickme behavior of hers that I feel is bad for women, and it's a behavior I IN NO WAY want to emulate, then I can clock it as "not envy" and go on my merry way.
This reminded me of when I read the book 'Existential Kink' - weird name, useful book!