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I drank so I could loosen up around people (mainly men) when I should have asked myself, “What is it about them that makes me uncomfortable?”
Sometimes it loosened me up too much and I ended up sleeping with men I never would have given the time of day, had I been sober.
Sometimes it led to full-blown relationships. One time it led to a marriage with children.
I wasn’t the typical alcoholic- I could go many days without drinking. I drank with a purpose: to be someone I felt was a better version of me. Someone who was louder, bolder, uninhibited. I never stopped to think that that version of me actually sucked.
I’ve been single and not dating for 4 years now. There simply hasn’t been one single guy I’ve had the desire to date. So at least I’ve abandoned my party-girl ways.
Mommy Wine Culture has entered the chat...
FFS. What started as a glass of wine here and there morphed into an entire bottle once a week. And I rationalized the heck out of that. I mean, it’s just wine! And the children are already in bed. And I deserve it!
Deserve what? The weight gain from extra calories? The guilt when the kids ask questions, like, “Isn’t that empty bottle the one you bought last night?” The waking up at 3 a.m. parched and with a throbbing headache?
As much as we talk about scrotes on here, I do believe there are HVM out there, and I know in my heart that I will not find one if I am not a HVW myself. That means being a mom who is fully present for her children. It means taking care of my body and being able to say no.
I bought a gym membership for my kids and myself. $80 a month- ouch! But that’s $80 for something that all 3 of us can enjoy, and guess what? It’s less than I would spend on alcohol and gourmet coffees each month (another thing I’m giving up).
Our society has fed us so many lies, and I believe alcohol is one of the worst. If you are struggling, please know that you are not alone and you can do this.
Happy New Year to all you Queens! Let's make 2023 a good one.