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Christmas is beautiful, but it's also the time of year when our culture does its most frenzied pickme dance. The holiday season can be especially difficult for those of us who are grieving, from abusive families, or find ourselves alone.
Our society's deep-seated unwellness is magnified. Consumerism and the pressure to project perfection is rampant. We're told to set aside our hurts and the wrongs that have been done to us "in the spirit of the season," for the sake of appearances.
Some reminders:
Peace on earth is not your responsibility - beyond the peace you create in your own heart.
It is not your responsibility to swallow your feelings so that others in your life can carry on with a charade that is disconnected from the reality of who they are.
You do not need to respond to people who reach out once a year to wish you Merry Christmas. Where were they the other 364 days?
People act strangely around the holidays. They feel the need to reconnect out of guilt or loneliness. Their unhappiness may be magnified and projected onto you. This is not your problem.
Christmas is a wonderful time to heal. It can be a time to give yourself the gift of boundaries, peace, freedom from others' issues and projections. It can be a time of renewal.
To anyone who is unwell or struggling with grief at this time -- I see you, and I'm sending you warmth and strength. I try and remind myself that I could be the woman on that family Christmas card with the frozen smile, living the "dream" that is actually a nightmare. I chose a different path. Today I'm choosing to celebrate how far I've come on this path of honesty and self discovery.
Please take a moment today to celebrate who you are and your inner resilience, and all that is to come for the future you choose.
I was miserable at Christmas until about 10 years ago. I decided I just didn't care anymore thar I didn't have a man and a family of my own. I wrote down a list of all of the men that I'd been on dates with, my actions, and theirs. When I saw that list, I realized it wasn't me. I'd given my all from age 17 to 37 with men, and none of them had ever taken me seriously or appreciated me. So why keep on suffering? I started donating money to kids who don't get presents, the homeless fund at my church, I started buying gifts and taking my girl friends out for dinner, I gave the dogs extra bones, etc. I made the holidays about helping others. It makes me happy to shop for Toys4Tots. I makes me happy to know I've fed 2,000 families for the holidays. I do good things despite men and their bullshit.
I invited all my female friends who are solo this Christmas or have no plans over yesterday and we had a blast! Delicious food and very great conversations. It was a wonderful tribe. Happy holidays and merry Christmas to you queens!!! Living a scrote free life is a blessing.
I am alone on this and every holiday as I am an adult orphan and thus have no family. So thank you.
This was lovely. So far I've spent Christmas in my pajamas, isolated due to covid and missing my (fortunately lovely) family. Lately I've also told my boyfriend about some aspects of our relationship I'm not 100% satisfied with, and I am feeling a bit bad about "ruining" the "all I want for Christmas is you" general vibe. Reading this makes me feel better, and makes me feel proud of staying critical and honoring my standards and expectations. Thank you. 🤗
Christmas is just a sunday. Celebrate yourself and your level up journey
I needed to read this. Thank you so much for posting this.
Thank you. This is also a reminder that I am my own best friend!
Thank you. I needed these words.♥️