Tips for therapy?

Similar to the advice above, you might not find your first therapist to be the right fit. Second asking for a female. My therapist is phenomenal!! She recommended “All the rules” book to me which is pro FDS. She is also very high value and with the idea that men need to put all the effort as well as women have been used and sexually objectified their whole life. Honestly you will know when the right therapist is for you. If you feel better every time after a session and well rested and heard then you hit the jackpot. My therapist will give me some light homework, will ask me great questions to help me discover what i actually feel and want. She also started with me from childhood and went though every single family relationship and dating relationships as well as any relationship that impacted me in my life. I have sent few of my single female friends to her and they are so in love with her. She is truly a high value queen 👸🏼

Don’t assume the first therapist you try is right for you. Only see a female therapist. If she tries to gaslight or place the blame on you when you talk about past suffering or abuse (especially in the context of interpersonal relationships with men, whether familial/romantic/friend), look for a different therapist.

With regard to this "final decision" you want to make, keep in mind that a good therapist will not direct you or recommend a course of action. She will help uncover your own beliefs, feelings, patterns, and values. In the best case, that will help you recognize and commit to your own decision, where you retain all agency and responsibility.

Go to YouTube and type in "EFT Sadness" or whatever emotions you're feeling that are making you seek therapy. Learn the tapping sequence, and then when you talk to the therapist, tap whilst you talk. That will help you far more than just talking will. If you talk while you tap, you can get rid of the emotional charge in the body and not have to relive it any longer. Talking without tapping actually makes things worse because you're reinjuring yourself and reliving it.

Lean into the discomfort. Best advice I can give, without more specifics.

Also, don’t expect that you’ll want to pour your heart out to a complete stranger - it takes time to build trust with a therapist.

Since it’s your first session, there will likely be some rapport- and history-building. It might feel like things move slowly but there’s only so much you can get into in 1 session.

Practice mindfulness tonight, sit with your thoughts, and even write down what you want to bring to the session (topics, questions, etc.).

Honestly, start the session with voicing your concerns! I’d say most people probably feel nervous starting therapy - it’s a big deal to divulge your innermost thoughts and feelings.

Be kind to yourself.